Tricky Invitation Wording...Help!

kh396

Any etiquette experts out there to help us navigate some tricky invitation wording? Some background... My parents are paying for the vast majority of the wedding, however, my fiancé's parents have offered to pick up the liquor bill. That being the case, we would like to include them on the invitation to some extent. Since the liquor bill comes out to about 5 percent of the total cost, I am not sure if it is appropriate to say "together with" both sets of parents? I've also seen the bride's parents listed at the top of the invitation and mentioning the grooms' parents by saying "son of." Now for the trickier part, we can't really say "son of" because my fiancé's mother is deceased and his dad has remarried. Both his mom's and stepmom's families are attending so I am hesitant to leave someone off, as I don't want to offend either side. Please let me know if anyone has had a similar situation and if so, what you ended up doing? I'd greatly appreciate any advice! Thanks, Kate

Avion22

In complicated situations like this one, I would recommend "Together with their families...." instead of listing each parent/step-parent by name.     Otherwise the invitation ends up looking more like a Broadway playbill.

MyUserName1

Agree with Avion.  These are the situations that "together with their families" was invented for.

kate2188

I am doubtful that there is a proper way to indicate 5% contribution on the invitation. "Together with their families" will alleviate the most stress.

kmmssg

Another vote for Together with their families.....  Your invitation doesn't need to indicate who is paying more.

BinxRose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tricky-invitation-wordinghelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:30d3955b-2f36-45a2-af91-79c6fcd326b8Post:742cc091-467b-47e4-9648-98cdf651e72c">Re: Tricky Invitation Wording...Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]I am doubtful that there is a proper way to indicate 5% contribution on the invitation. "Together with their families" will alleviate the most stress.
Posted by kate2188[/QUOTE]


This.

jessicabessica

If they are both hosting (note, contributions don't have to be equal), you could say "together with their parents," but I don't really think it would be that complicated to just put both sets of names on the top of the invite, unless I'm missing something:

Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents

Mr. and Mrs. Groom's Parents

invite you to...

It doesn't matter that the groom's stepmom is listed like this, as it would with the "son of" way to list his parents.  

I don't have a problem with "together with their parents," but you should ask the parents.  They may want a more traditional listing of their names or just to have their names on the invite.  

dumdumfroggie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tricky-invitation-wordinghelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:30d3955b-2f36-45a2-af91-79c6fcd326b8Post:ac0c2e82-1860-4194-af32-e830654cae79">Re: Tricky Invitation Wording...Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]If they are both hosting (note, contributions don't have to be equal), you could say "together with their parents," but I don't really think it would be that complicated to just put both sets of names on the top of the invite, unless I'm missing something: <div><strong>Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents </strong></div><div><strong>Mr. and Mrs. Groom's Parents </strong></div><div><strong>invite you to...</strong></div><div>It doesn't matter that the groom's stepmom is listed like this, as it would with the "son of" way to list his parents.   I don't have a problem with "together with their parents," but you should ask the parents.  They may want a more traditional listing of their names or just to have their names on the invite.  
Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]

</div><div>The above if the parents want a formal invitation.  "Together with their families/parents" if you can get away with something less traditional.</div>

tpender13

Another "together with their families" vote. I like "families" better than "parents" when there are blended families involved. Step-parents are important people, but not everyone looks at them as parents, KWIM?

tenofcups4me

I would definitely ask your parents if they're ok with "together with their parents" or both names on top. If they're contributing 95%, they might well want the invitation to come just from them, not read as if both parents are contributing about equally.

I'd go with "son of" personally. But again, I'd check that with your FH and his father. They might prefer to not have the parents' names included at all rather than deal with any ramifications from having step-mom on the invitation and not his mom (or they might think it's a great idea -- no way to know without asking!).

kh396

Thanks for all of the suggestions! Always helpful to get some unbiased opinions. I should probably add that my parents are on the more traditional side and have expressed their desire to be listed by name on the invitation. The wedding is also going to be fairly formal, so as easy as "together with their families" would be, I don't know if that's an option for us. With that in mind, any other input is greatly appreciated! Thanks again for all of your help.

mica178

Traditionally, the groom's family covers the alcohol expenses and the bride's family covers almost everything else for the wedding reception, but the bride's family is stil considered the hosts rather than both sides hosting.  So I think using tenof's suggested wording makes the most sense.

quiggels219

I had a similar situation with the contributions of parents but we ended up listing them both and fi has a stepmom - his mom is still alive though so a little different. We just did: Mr and mrs my parents And mrs fi mom and Fi dad and stepmom I was worried it would look a little much but when I got them back I really liked them and it kept everyone happy (for the most part, fmil didn't like fsmil was mentioned anywhere but thats another story). I also know when I was researching this there were tons of recommendations for how to list a parent who passed on theknot in the articles and also on Martha stewart weddings website. It was a little annoying that my parents don't get as much credit but I realize no one cared (except again for fmil who insisted on being named for offering to cover the church donation). I'd ask your parents their opinions and go from there but above is an option

Cortney1982

I agree with the fact that even though the grooms parents are paying the liquor bill, the brides parents are still hosting.  So I would go with:

Mr. & Mrs Bride's Parents
request the honor of your
presence at the marriage of their
daughter
Brides Name
to
Grooms Name
son of
Mr. & Mrs Grooms Parents