HELP!

Dlong804

My FI and I are getting married in October and my mother and  I have different views on who should come to the rehearsal dinner. I think that it should be the bridal party and their spouces and my grandparents (his grandfather wont come). My mother has heard from my grandma that we should invite out of town guests b/c it is "polite". I understand that people are coming from far away to celebrate with us but, isnt that what the 4 hour reception is for???? I cannot seem to get to through my moms head that I dont feel that they all need to be invited, she thinks that it is all about $$ for my FMIL but its not, I want it intimate and special for the bridal party.

Any suggestions!???

[Deleted User]

It's common to invite out of town, but you are not obligated to invite all.  In our case, about 75% of our guests are out of town.  We are inviting the BP, father's siblings, mother's siblings, my godmother, and a few very special family friends (plus offiiciant, coordinators).  The venue for the rehearsal has limited seating.

Lisa50

Just say no.  Stick to the list you have.  You are not obliged to invite all out of town guests.  It is the norm in some circles, not so much in others.  Good luck!

mbrischoux

All we had (and all we intended to have) was our parents, siblings, and bridal party.  Even if we had had out of town guests, they would not have been invited to the rehearsal dinner. 

Kate61487

You definitely don't have to host all your OOT guests.  It sounds like FMIL is hosting, so it's her call. 

Our RD was the BP (which includes readers and ushers) and their SOs/dates plus parents and grandparents and that was it.  That was already pretty large, I can't imagine having tried to inlude OOT guests too, it would have been gigantic...

Mrw218

We were in same situation where dad said we needed to do that but most of our guests were from out of town as well so might as well as make it the reception. I told dad that's fine but he is paying for all out of towner seats bc they were his family and he was insisting. He just decided to have separate dinner for everyone on fri night cuz rehearsal is thurs.

Loopyseven

We had the WP, readers, parents, siblings, spouses of said guests, and the officiant (he is not married/seeing anyone).  Just with that we had 25 people there.  75% of our wedding guests were out of town.  Inviting them all to the RD was just not practical.  It's nice if you want to, and can afford it, but it is by no means necessary.

lauraanne9

We have a number of OOT people. as well as being from OOT ourselves.  Our RD is going to be the BP and their SO, our parents. and the officiant.  And, if a good friend of mine makes it from CA, her as well.  She will not have a date.  So 10 total.  I keep threatening that we are going to Cracker Barrel as we don't have them in CA and I am obsessed whenever we visit.  

MomJen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-40?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:30d56d7b-898c-45f4-8cff-e642a7be8776Post:002d0d68-d9a6-44bd-bae1-e7e6f4c851ec">HELP!</a>:<div>There is a reason it is called the "rehearsal" dinner... because those who are involved in the wedding and therefore need to be at the rehearsal attend.  </div><div>Some people do combine them and invite those people who are from OOT.  However, you are under no obligation to do so.  </div><div>One lovely idea is to host a get together for everyone after the dinner. I have been to several like that - just dessert or an ice cream sundae bar, coffee and sometimes after dinner drinks.</div><div>We also attended an OOT dinner that was hosted by the brides grandparents.  So perhaps if your grandmother feels that strongly about it, she can host the dessert party.</div><div>Good luck!</div><div>
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[QUOTE]My FI and I are getting married in October and my mother and  I have different views on who should come to the rehearsal dinner. I think that it should be the bridal party and their spouces and my grandparents (his grandfather wont come). My mother has heard from my grandma that we should invite out of town guests b/c it is "polite". I understand that people are coming from far away to celebrate with us but, isnt that what the 4 hour reception is for???? I cannot seem to get to through my moms head that I dont feel that they all need to be invited, she thinks that it is all about $$ for my FMIL but its not, I want it intimate and special for the bridal party. Any suggestions!???
Posted by Dlong804[/QUOTE]

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MomJen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-40?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:30d56d7b-898c-45f4-8cff-e642a7be8776Post:002d0d68-d9a6-44bd-bae1-e7e6f4c851ec">HELP!</a>:<div>There is a reason it is called the "rehearsal" dinner... because those who are involved in the wedding and therefore need to be at the rehearsal attend.  </div><div>Some people do combine them and invite those people who are from OOT.  However, you are under no obligation to do so.  </div><div>One lovely idea is to host a get together for everyone after the dinner. I have been to several like that - just dessert or an ice cream sundae bar, coffee and sometimes after dinner drinks.</div><div>We also attended an OOT dinner that was hosted by the brides grandparents.  So perhaps if your grandmother feels that strongly about it, she can host the dessert party.</div><div>Good luck!</div><div>
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[QUOTE]My FI and I are getting married in October and my mother and  I have different views on who should come to the rehearsal dinner. I think that it should be the bridal party and their spouces and my grandparents (his grandfather wont come). My mother has heard from my grandma that we should invite out of town guests b/c it is "polite". I understand that people are coming from far away to celebrate with us but, isnt that what the 4 hour reception is for???? I cannot seem to get to through my moms head that I dont feel that they all need to be invited, she thinks that it is all about $$ for my FMIL but its not, I want it intimate and special for the bridal party. Any suggestions!???
Posted by Dlong804[/QUOTE]

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