Asking friends to be Bridesmaids

daw84

I've only had one close friend get married, and when she asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, she gave me a little handpainted picture frame with a bunch of pictures of us over the years along with a little card asking me to stand up.  Such a cute idea!

Now I'm trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do when asking my friends/family to stand up in my wedding.  Am I supposed to give gifts or cards when asking?  If so, any suggestions on what?

Thanks

banana468

You can just ask them.  I've never heard of giving gifts to BMs when you ask them except on TK.

andy71781

The only thing you are supposed to do is be a gracious bride with your bridesmaids.  It might be fun to be crafty/creative if you have extra time/money to ask them with a pretty card but it is definitely not expected.  I called mine and asked them and then sent a group email to say you are the BMs so they could have each other's email addresses.  When is your wedding?

daw84

October 2011. I've got time!! haha

lauralaur

I just asked each of them when I saw them. Nothing fancy, but still exciting in and of itself.

Brie2010

Definitely wait several months to ask BMs--don't do it until maybe 9 months out or so.  Friendships and relationships change, and you can't kick someone out of your bridal party without looking like a jerk.

squirrly

I just asked mine.  Nothing crazy. 

temerityjane

I think a lot of the cards are cute, some people do little personalized cookies shaped like dresses, even - there are a TON of different cute ways to do it. Personally, I just called each of mine and asked, but I'm not the "type" for the other kind of stuff. I do think there's some really fun and creative ideas for people who are LIKE that, you know? It just wasn't me.

Etsy has a lot of fun cards, if you're into the card idea. You can even just look there for inspiration and put something together yourself.

vthorwesten

Mine, I asked one over the phone as soon as it was an "appropriate" time to call. The other is my other best friend who I own a business with. I got to her house at 6:50 am, as we run a daycare. The last few years we have been tossing around the idea of becoming wedding/event planning. We have started the ideas flowing on this and have a business draft typed up. I went into the kitchen where she was making breakfast for the kiddlets, and said "So K, you like planning weddings right?" she said "ya, that's why we are going into business together". I said "okay, good. SO. you'll help me plan one for august". She said "ya, i guess. whose?" I said "ours". she freaked out and in front of the kids (hers and the others), said "holy s*it. my brother finally proposed!!!" I said ya. Then I told her, good, cuz I want you to be my MOH as well. She said she would love to!!!!

Kristin&eric

i dont see anything wrong with just asking, i never got anything cute or nothing fancy. They all are excited to be up there with us

susieq87

I just asked my girls. I decided that instead of getting them gifts, I am having a meet and greet for them about 1.5 years before the wedding, so they can all get to know each other since they are from different parts of my life.

CLSchramm

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-friends-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:31c5f7b9-06ae-4073-a083-a03bc2031ca1Post:9578966d-9e6f-4ffe-8985-e97ceb1d06a3">Re: Asking friends to be Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]Definitely wait several months to ask BMs--don't do it until maybe 9 months out or so.  Friendships and relationships change, and you can't kick someone out of your bridal party without looking like a jerk.
Posted by Brie2010[/QUOTE]

I WISH someone had told me this! This is Wonderful advice! Wait as long as you can to pick your bp!

brookelynpaisley

I got a text message saying "you know you'remy maid of honor, right?" I'm no less happy to be asked than I'm sure you were. Just asking is fine. But if you thought the way you were asked was so awesome, why not just do that? Or a nice handwritten note? Or a banner behind a prop plane?

mags0607

You really don't have to do anything but call your friends up and ask them in a heartfelt way if they will be in your bridal party. Or you can do it face to face, if they are close.

TJ had some good suggestions if you wanted to do something extra, but its in no way required or expected. It just depends on if you are that kind of person. Your BMs will be excited whether they get a cute little card or not.

I wanted to ask everyone in my BP around the same time, and as much as  try to tone down my inner Martha Stewart, sometimes it can't be helped. I went to this cute little place in my hometown and ordered them each a little cookie bouquet, and had it sent to their houses/businesses. It simply said "Will you be my bridesmaid?" They all loved it, and enjoyed the treat.

But, this is in no way expected, so do what you feel is "you" and I am sure they will be thrilled.

Brie is right though about waiting till you are less than a year out. It just makes sense.