Creative problem solvers - enter here.

Loopyseven

Well, not so much a problem but...

Background: We have been planning a kid free wedding.  Three of our friends have kids who would be under a year old (or about 3 weeks over a  year old) at the time of our wedding and my cousin has a 2 1/2 year old (who is adorable...)  so it's not a numbers thing, just a nice old house, gardens and a Friday night wedding with an open bar.  We'd already talked about inviting my cousins' little boy cause 1 - he's family, and 2 - I just found out my cousin will be having a bridal shower south of Cleveland the day after my wedding and wants to take her little boy so her family can see him.  Since Cleveland is between her home and the shower, I figure I can invite her son - did I mention he's adorable?.  

Last night I got home and FI says, we have our first wedding snag.  One of the GM has a baby who will be 6 months old when we get married.  She is exclusively breastfeeding.  We rented all the rooms in the inn we're getting married at (7) for us and the wedding party the night of the wedding.  They suggested GM's aunt and uncle (his parents are invited) come sit in their room with the baby during the wedding and reception so she can go up and feed as necessary.  

Problem is - we were planning on inviting said aunt and uncle to our wedding.  They've been helpful to us (free plumbing on a few occasions and other stuff) and we have similar interests in old houses and restoration and stuff.  Plus - won't they be bored up there?

Should I feed them?  Can I tell them to just bring the baby to the reception so aunt and uncle can come too?  Will this PO my other friends with young kids that we don't invite (others will all be closer to 1 and do not BF).  The other parents have commented about having a kid-free night being nice.

WWYD?

Holy long...

danieliza1127

Did you tell them that you were actually planning to invite the aunt and uncle?

MISSCOURTNEY20

Well you would hope that the people who aren't invited to bing their kids, would be happy to get a date night. But in the real world, we know this will not happen.

I think that if you were only inviting the 6 month old's parents because she was BF then that would be fine. But the cousin's baby because she is doing something the next day, is a little much. Everyone could very well come up with reasons why they should be able to bring their children. If you are going to accomodate some parents, I think you should accomodate all of them.

kikibaby

So you want just one kid there- the "adorable" 1 year old? 

I think you need to make it all or nothing, but it's not fair to expect the aunt and uncle to sit in a hotel room with the baby all night either.

arv266

I agree with the PP in either inviting all the kids, or none.  As for the BF wife of the GM... I don't see how this is your problem or a snag.. If you invite the uncle and aunt, the GM and his wife will need to find an alternate babysitter.  This is something that the GM and his family will need to work out, not you.  Its wonderful that you are being so accomodating to your guest, but some things are out of your hands. 

Loopyseven

Dani - FI told GM we were going to invite his aunt and uncle but GM thinks they'll decline the invite cause they already committed to watch the baby for them.  

I just hate the idea of them sitting in a room in the inn all night alone.  And I feel like it'd be patronizing to send them up dinner or something.  

FI keeps asking me what we should tell them. I have a lot to learn about babies but at 6 months I thought she'd be starting rice cereal and some mushy solids/baby food and be able to go an evening without mom.  But if that's not the case I'm certainly not going to tell them they can't have the baby there.  I just feel bad that someone we were going to invite may end up stuck in a room.

mags0607

I think you should just tell them that since she is BF, that the baby is welcome at the wedding. That way you don't have people you wanted to be guests sitting in a hotel room all night, and your friends don't have to worry as much if the baby is with them. People will understand, and most view BF babies as an exception to the "no kids" rule.

emilyinchile

I'm with Mags, although that then opens you up to the other babies your friends have if any of them are breastfeeding, and at that point since it would only be one or two more, you might as well just have all the kids. I don't think you have to have kids at your wedding by any means, but given the circumstances and the fact that they're all so little they probably won't affect the adult feel of the evening anyway (it's not like they're going to be running around if they can't even walk).

Meg1979

I think you are going to have to bring the baby to the wedding.  I don't think it's fair for the uncle and aunt to have to watch the baby while everyone else has fun.  They can watch the little one while they enjoy the reception or the parents can watch the baby.  The parents of the older kids will probably appreciate having a night out.  Are they in need of baby care or are they leaving them at home? 

danieliza1127

It sounds like you're already on a slippery slope because you decided not to invite kids, but then made an exception for the cute one, and now are considering making an exception for the breast feeding one.  You open yourselves up to making more and more exceptions.  At this point you've already got one child attending where other people's kids weren't invited.

I would just let your friends have their aunt and uncle watch the baby in the hotel room and leave it at that.  Sending up dinner would be nice, sure.

danieliza1127

Remember that your guests won't know that baby is there because it's being breast fed.  All they'll see is a baby and a toddler and know that theirs weren't invited.  It's not likely she'll breastfeed right in front of everyone and not likely that you'll be walking around all night going "oh that baby is just here because she's breastfeeding".