Ok, maybe it's not quite that bad, but I'm annoyed.
We asked FI's mom for a list of guests back at the beginning of the year, and she gave us the names of some family members and two other couples, all of whom we happily added to our list - no biggie. Because her list was smaller than we expected, we asked her (at the time) if she was sure this was everyone that she wanted included, and she assured us it was. We had already chosen a venue, and booked it after making sure that it would accomodate our guest list (it did).
Fast forward to tonight....plans are in the works for a local shower that some of my wonderful FSILs are hosting. Tonight, FMIL announces to me and FI that she called FSIL #1 last night and added the names of several local ladies to the shower guest list. What's the problem, you ask? For starters, I've never met (or, in some cases, never even heard the names of) these ladies. Secondly, they aren't on the wedding guest list, nor do we presently have room to add them. If we get enough declines (and we probably will), then we are happy to invite these ladies and their families to the wedding. But we won't know for sure if we can do this before the shower.
And the best part? When I tell her that, while I understand why she wants to invite them, I'm not comfortable with that at this point because proper etiquette says everyone invited to the shower has to be invited to the wedding, and we can't guarantee before the shower that this will be possible, she says, "Well, I know that's how it's supposed to be done, but I know that these people won't drive all that way for the wedding, so you don't even need to send them a wedding invitation. But I think it's important to invite them to the shower. The shower will be right here in town, and their feelings will be very hurt if they're not invited."
*headdesk*
And FWIW, our venue is an hour and a half away and it's an afternoon wedding in June....it's not like we're asking people to swim the English Channel or dog-sled through a blizzard to get to our wedding or anything.
So there's a very real chance that all of these new people could show up at our wedding if invited. Along with all of the other people we're planning to invite.
So, I really just needed to rant, and make sure I have all of my bases covered in the event that she persists in following the path of Emily Post's evil twin. FI is going to address this with her again tomorrow. I talked to one of the FSILs and gave her the heads up about FMIL, and we (FI, FSIL, and I) agreed that we could probably accomodate two of the ladies that really should have been on the list to begin with (one of my uncles, who has many children, has already said he won't be able to make it to the wedding, and that's unlikely to change). We'll see about adding the other people she wants after we get enough declines, but they won't be invited to the shower. Am I missing anything?
CN: FMIL has lost her mind and her manners, and we're trying to help her find them. We've looked under all the beds, in the closets, behind the shower curtain, and in the liquor cabinet, all to no avail (but damn, this Kahlua tastes good!). Any ideas?