This is so not an etiquette question, but since ya'll have opinions and I'm bored I figured I'd throw it out there.
When we got engaged, well before that really, I made it clear to H that I did not intend to change my name. He was cool with that. We even briefly discussed him changing his last name to mine!
Fast forward to the day my FIL threw a fit about women who don't change their last names. He said it was disrespectful to the husbands...on and on and on. I was 21 and stupid and didn't have enough confidence to just do what I wanted. It would have been a huge issue so I chose not to fight it. I added H's last name to mine and became Laura Maiden Married.
Except I never legally changed it. For whatever reason, DMV let me change my license without seeing my SS card. So all that kind of stuff - license, teaching license, CC, bank accounts, home loans, and titles - is in Laura Maiden Married. SS, my passport, and all my tax stuff - including paychecks - are still Laura Maiden as that is my legal last name.
In the beginning, I didn't mind having two last names, but in the past few years it's become a PITA. I go by Ms Maiden at school because it's easier for everyone. When I make appointments and reservations, I often just use my maiden name because it's easier to only have to spell and keep track of one name.
Additionally, for whatever reason a lot of people have made the (incorrect) assumption that they can drop my name from my last name and call me Laura Married. I hate that with the fire of a thousand suns.
So, H has suggested several times over the past year or so that I just drop his last name. He is 100% ok with it, even more than that I think he really wants me to do it. I don't use his last name all that often since it's become such a hassle...but at the same time, I've used it for 8 years now.
So, if you were me, what would you do? Drop it socially but not bother to change all the documents with Maiden Married? Drop it socially and change all the documents to just be Maiden? Finally change it legally to be Maiden Married so everything matches?
And if I do end up completely dropping H's name, how do I let people know? Obviously I can just tell my parents, but what about people at church, friends, his family (gulp)?