Confused

amercer09

I have recently decided on a wedding date. Its on 7/2/2011. I am currently 19 and my SO is 17. We will both be twenty when we get married. We both know this is what we want. We both take good care of each other and he stays at my house on weekends. We currently work together with no problems. I am wondering what reactions from family and others will be. I recently told on of my friends who told my second mom without my permission. I didn't talk to my mom about it yet because i wanted to be creative. Any ideas on how to be creative and what kind of reactions we will get?

Thanks in advance

crfische

Sorry, dude. I'm afraid you're out of your ever-loving mind.

FutureMrsTR

It's "you're" too young to get married, btw.

And I don't think creativity is going to help the situation.  I'm assuming your mother is going to be (rightfully) concerned about her 20 y.o. marrying another 20 y.o. and won't take it any better if you announce it in skywriting.

Stackeye210

Fishy - she was referred by some to come here and post this. 

SarahPLiz

If you want to save your relationship with your mom, tell her now.

I say wait to get married. You may think you are mature now, but people and circumstances change so much during the early 20s. I know it sounds cliche, but its been said many times for good reason.. its true.

How about wait until you are both out of college and settled in your careers. Then you can pay for your own wedding and truly be independant.

goheels05

Option 5--don't care because you are obviously a troll who didn't get the response they wanted on Chit Chat so you decided to take your poll over here.

Thanks, we've already had young brides this week, come up with something original.

sarah0725

If you need to ask a bunch of internet strangers with a wacky and misspelled poll, then "your" too young to get married.

How did your fiance propose to you? Did he pass you a note in math class that said "Will you marry me? Circle yes or no"?

lilgina64

If you can't talk to your parents about your decisions up front, then you're not mature enough to get married. and my guess is, in two years, not that much will have changed, nor will either one of you be out of college if you go.

ohwhynot

What's the diff between "you're too young to get married" and "wait a few years"? 

17?  He's 17 and engaged?  Oh my. 

Brie2010

If I was your mom, I'd be pissed because:

a) you told your friends and "second mom" first
b) you are seventeen and should be buying a prom dress, not a wedding dress
c) depending on laws in your state, it might be illegal for you guys to be getting it on in the first place

Wait.  If he's the one, he'll be there in a few years when you're both older and wiser.  I thought I knew what I wanted at 17, and at 19, and they are vastly, vastly different from where I am now. 

There are people here who've waited to get married.  It's not the end of the world.  What's the rush?

crfische

Someone refers them to a board to post, and then they do?

this confirms my afore mentioned statement.

ohwhynot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confused-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:37a1a215-eb44-4ee1-b80d-8305755974fdPost:02c78796-8b8d-44b0-b5c1-3707dd8f4e9b">Re: Confused</a>:
[QUOTE]If you need to ask a bunch of internet strangers with a wacky and misspelled poll, then "your" too young to get married. How did your fiance propose to you? Did he pass you a note in math class that said "Will you marry me? Circle yes or no"?
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]


Perfect.

SwedishChick2011

So you're 19 and your SO is 17.  How can you both be 20 when you get married?  Does.not.compute.

betrothed123

If you really are mature enough and ready to be married, your friends family will support you, no matter how uncreatively you tell them.  If they freak out, it's a good sign that you're not ready.  After all, they do know you best.  If they're going to freak out they will, no matter how you tell them.

However, you absolutely should tell them ASAP.

I also agree that you need to step back and put this on hold until you grow up a bit.  You're not even 20.  Live your life before tying yourself down to another child (because at 17, he is a child).

Stackeye210

Fish - we could always just use this post to work on your spelling bee.  Get some real use out of it.  How about you go through her post first and find all the misspelled words and then go through the rest of the posts to find words too.  We'll just randomly try to trick you. 

opalsky007

If your SO is 17, and can't have more than 2 birthdays between now and 7/2/2011, how on earth will they be 20 by the wedding?

goheels05

Troll fail.

[Deleted User]

I don't even think you're old enough to be on the internet.

sarah0725

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confused-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:37a1a215-eb44-4ee1-b80d-8305755974fdPost:60ba6f06-f449-4379-a2cd-5eccc208e662">Re: Confused</a>:
[QUOTE]So you're 19 and your SO is 17.  How can you both be 20 when you get married?  Does.not.compute.
Posted by cocoreo3[/QUOTE]

I, too, wonder this.

bbyckes

Young Brides week should be featured on TLC like Shark Week.  This whole situation hurts my head.  Why do you even  need to be "creative" when telling your mom you plan on getting married?  Me thinks you're stalling because you know the reaction will not be positive.  Making it cutesy doesn't disguise the sheer stupidity of this engagement.

crfische

This is repugnant.

r-e-p-u-g-n-a-n-t.

Repugnant.

ac_in_dc

Amercer, why do you feel like you need to plan a wedding right now? When I was your age, I had a serious boyfriend for 3.5 years. We talked about marriage sometimes, but eventually decided against it and broke up when I was about 21.

He's a great guy and would have been a great husband, but I needed some time to figure myself out before marrying.

What's the harm in waiting a few years to make the decision on whether or not to get married?

BecW2be

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confused-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:37a1a215-eb44-4ee1-b80d-8305755974fdPost:c8a727c4-2128-423a-86c0-3231e48d835c">Confused</a>:
[QUOTE]I have recently decided on a wedding date. Its on 7/2/2011. I am currently 19 and my SO is 17. We will both be twenty when we get married. We both know this is what we want. We both take good care of each other and he stays at my house on weekends. We currently work together with no problems. I am wondering what reactions from family and others will be. I recently told on of my friends who told my <strong>second mom</strong> without my permission. I didn't talk to my mom about it yet because i wanted to be creative.<strong> Any ideas on how to be creative and what kind of reactions we will get? </strong>Thanks in advance
Posted by amercer09[/QUOTE]

WTF is a second mom?!?!

I vote you tell your mom you're pregnant, and then when the shock of that wears off, you say "Just kidding! I really just want to get married, which is much better than being knocked up. Right? RIGHT??"

As far as reactions, be prepared to be called an idiot and/or afucktard, if anyone close to you is familiar with that word. I'm sorry, but flipping burgers together and then coming to your house on the weekends to bang on the couch in the basement does not a long term, married relationship make.

squirrly

Wait - if you're 19 now, and your SO is 17 now, how are you ever both going to be 20 at the same time?  I'm sorry, your math doesn't work. 

You should wait.  Finish high school, go to college or technical school, get an adult job, and if you're still together then, once the younger of the two of you is about 23 or 24, THEN talk about wedding dates.

Until then, save your wedding fever for attending weddings as a guest. 

sarabellam

If you're too young and uneducated to differentiate between "you're" and "your," you need to concentrate more on school and less on playing house with your jailbait.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confused-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:37a1a215-eb44-4ee1-b80d-8305755974fdPost:60ba6f06-f449-4379-a2cd-5eccc208e662">Re: Confused</a>:
[QUOTE]So you're 19 and your SO is 17.  How can you both be 20 when you get married?  Does.not.compute.
Posted by cocoreo3[/QUOTE]

This is what I was thinking.  Not only can you not spell, you cannot perform elementary level math.

Go back to school before you even think about getting married. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

You both still live with your parents, don't you?

How do you even expect to support yourselves, let alone pay for a wedding?

amercer09

I take care of him to begin with. He doesn't flip burgers and niether do I. We plan on paying for our own wedding. Yes I did my math wrong he'll be 19. I made this post late last night. Ill be done college when I get married and college isn't for everybody. We don't go the same school. Why does it matter how he asked? All that matters is that he did it.

SarahPLiz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confused-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:37a1a215-eb44-4ee1-b80d-8305755974fdPost:56afd71b-796b-4df7-b1ec-5a2503c5c248">Re: Confused</a>:
[QUOTE]I take care of him to begin with. He doesn't flip burgers and niether do I. We plan on paying for our own wedding. Yes I did my math wrong he'll be 19. I made this post late last night. Ill be done college when I get married and college isn't for everybody. We don't go the same school. Why does it matter how he asked? <strong>All that matters is that he did it.</strong>
Posted by amercer09[/QUOTE]

But it matters how you plan to support yourselves, and how you plan to mature and grow into your own person, apart from being SO's wife. Peopel who don't get to develop that sense of self often end up in not so lovely relationships.. and then don't know how to deal with being alone.

FWIW, I met someone when I was 21 and was with him for 6 years.. We were both adults.. I SO thought I wanted to marry him, but I'm glad I didn't. We had a LDR for 4 of the 6 years.. the last 2, it fell apart when we were playing house. I met FI a year after that relationship ended. I had been on my own for a while and really figured out what I wanted out of life. FI fits that perfectly, and he IS the one. But if I had married the other guy, I'd be so unhappy right now.. maybe even divorced.

So wait.. grow up a bit.

SarahPLiz

I'm sure Fishy can correct my spelling errors.

alixzafiris

You know, I totes think you should just go through with it. I mean, after prom - which was like, yesterday, no? -  you're probably jonesing for another splashy party and another reason to wear an undoubtedly hideous dress and bust a move to some atrocious boy band. DO EEET!