Seating Chart or no...

KateN8029

At every wedding I've attended there has always been a seating chart.  Recently, since planning my own wedding, family members and even caterers have mentioned to me to not have a seating chart.  to save seating for "VIP" like immediate family and those that will be in pictures.  They think everyone should come in and choose their seat.  My fear is that iimportant people on my day will be off in the distance in the reception hall and they'll feel left out. 
Which is more correct per se according to ettiquette?  I don't want my FI's soccer buddies to get "closer" seats than family that have traveled for over 15 hours to be at this wedding, ESPECIALLY because the wedding is during the week.

polichik

Some people might not agree, but I say ALWAYS, ALWAYS have a seating chart. I've heard enough horror stories that I couldn't imagine doing otherwise.

If your guests really hate their assigned seats, they'll switch. But doing without a seating chart can split up couples/groups of friends and stick important elderly relatives and loved ones in the back (I saw this at my friend's wedding, when her aunts arrived late because of medical issues. There was nowhere even remotely close to the B&G for them to sit, and they got stuck right by the sound system. Not good).

KateN8029

Thank you ladies. I think I just needed confirmation that my first instincts were still correct.  My mother in law, sadly, is the biggest supporter of no seating charts but i now have verrry valid points and the FI agrees with me 

opalsky007

I'm actually very surprised to hear about a caterer suggesting no seating chart--they're very helpful in planning and serving.

I agree with having one, for all of the reasons already mentioned.

MyNameIsNot

You need a seating chart.  

If you come from a family/circle where they just aren't done, you can get away with it. But in your situation, where they are the norm, not doing one would just invite disaster.  

polichik

Kate, have your FMIL give me a call. I'll set her straight!

allisong23

I just don't understand why someone would not want to do it. I would feel very uncomfortable if I was wandering around trying to find a seat, especially if I didn't know a lot of people there.

kat112

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_seating-chart-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:38d9b2c4-3567-4076-8890-aa36735d83ecPost:ca361291-9772-460b-ab51-ebfea9b12486">Re: Seating Chart or no...</a>:
[QUOTE]I just don't understand why someone would not want to do it. I would feel very uncomfortable if I was wandering around trying to find a seat, especially if I didn't know a lot of people there.
Posted by allisong23[/QUOTE]

I always just chalked it up to the bride being lazy and not wanting to take on the extra work so close to the wedding date, not that they actually thought it was a good idea not to have one :)

[Deleted User]

We assigned tables, not seats. I can't imagine a caterer not wanting some sense of organization. Our venue needed it for the meal choices since we did a sit down dinner.

squirrly

You don't have to assign seats.  You really should assign tables, though.  Every wedding I've gone to that didn't have at least assigned tables ended up with either twice the number of tables needed (which means more linens and CPs and other expensive things) OR the guests ended up split up and spread out very strangely throughout the room.  As a guest, it's really unpleasant.

Beachy730

I think you definitely need to assign tables, but assigning seats at the table you don't.  That ends up being first come first serve in a way because they first to get to the table can pick the seats with the best view. 

If you don't at least assign tables you have too many problems that can occur.  And I'm sorry but that idea of assigned seating only for VIP is also rude IMO.  That to me tells your other guests that you couldn't be bothered to assign seats for them and you really don't care where they end up sitting or who with, and that you only  care about your family. 

LizHZ

A VIP seating area seems like it would make anyone not inside of it feel less-than or even mad. I'd assign seats, or at least tables! Open seating is kinda asking for trouble.

Kristin789

>>>But doing without a seating chart can split up couples/groups of friends and stick important elderly relatives and loved ones in the back (I saw this at my friend's wedding, when her aunts arrived late because of medical issues. There was nowhere even remotely close to the B&G for them to sit, and they got stuck right by the sound system. Not good).

This.
That's what happened at my friend's wedding.  The elderly relatives, who traveled the longest with the worst health AND who bought the biggest gifts or wrote the biggest gift checks, were stuck in the back with people they didn't know.

lizarellie

I'm having a super-casual backyard BBQ type reception, so no seating chart for me.