Do I give her the boot?

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-i-give-her-the-boot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:38dca3d2-925f-4d1d-bd27-6d10acdf546dPost:a4036e69-263b-4362-b974-92dc7df72a57">Re: Do I give her the boot?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok, two other people asked and you didn't answer, so I'll try.  What did she lie about?
Posted by Bkseller13[/QUOTE]

My guess is nothing OP is going to get any sympathy for, which is why she's avoiding the question.

Hilraythebride

No, you shouldn't give her "the boot."  I am not sure why she isn't talking to you directly but I would sit her down and ask if she is still able to be in the wedding considering how close yours are.  But you are really making it sound like she intended to do this to you when she is the one who was asked t get married!  So what if she has the same back drop as your engagement pictures its not like that is going to take away from how beautiful yours are.

If you are dead set on when your wedding parties are taking place just let her know that you can't or won't move the dates of the parties and is sorry she isn't able to attend but plans are already being made accordingly.

She has her own wedding to think about now too and no one is as interested in your wedding as you are.  I would take this opportunity to talk with her and se if she still feels she is able to do it with all the stress and business of planning her own wedding, but you should be happy for her and now you have someone else to talk to about it than us!

Hilraythebride

Also, weddings aren't tit for tat and you shouldn't use the fact that you aren't standing up in her wedding to justify throwing her out of yours!

lilja032

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-i-give-her-the-boot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:38dca3d2-925f-4d1d-bd27-6d10acdf546dPost:f1535767-909b-40a8-a87d-7c2598e35a3c">Re: Do I give her the boot?</a>:
[QUOTE]I apologize that I came off as a spoiled brat. I don't expect people to live their lives around my wedding. I also don't expect for my bridesmaid to schedule her wedding around mine. However I guess I expected her to respect me enough to not lie to me or my fiance. I was hurt that I wasn't standing up in her wedding but I see it as a good thing now, saving me money and stress. It has just been one little thing after another and its all adding up now to make me feel stressed, hurt, betrayed, lost. <strong>Overall I feel like she won't have the time to be a bridesmaid she is simply cutting it too close. </strong>
Posted by kdonaldson87[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Since when is it your place to decide whether she can handle it or not? By asking her you are giving her the option, if SHE feels like she's too busy and taken on more than she can handle she can say no. It's not your job to make that decision for her.

</div>

mollyehren

Seriously the only time a bridesmaid HAS to spend is about 30 minutes ordering her dress, an hour or so for dress alterations, a few hours the night before the wedding and a half day the day of the wedding.

Seriously I cannot think of any friend who could not "find the time" to do these things even if they are planning their own wedding too.

calibud8

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-i-give-her-the-boot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:38dca3d2-925f-4d1d-bd27-6d10acdf546dPost:f9a00348-61a2-4bec-9b86-2b1545ed4366">Re: Do I give her the boot?</a>:
[QUOTE]ugh.  Really?  You're going to kick out a bridesmaid because she isn't planning her entire life around Your Special Day!!?
Posted by MyUserName1[/QUOTE]

this

plus, Bridesmaids don't have duties above getting dressed and showing up.  I'm quite sure she can handle puttinig on a dress 3 weeks after her wedding.

heatherjking

After reading this thread, I'm now REALLY curious about what she lied about.

kdonaldson87

She did lie. I'm not on here looking for sympathy, or destructive criticism, I'm asking for advice on what to do since I am getting mixed reactions from the people in my life. She lied to my fiance that she text me for our address but didn't get a response as well as calling me several times throughtout the week. lied again by telling me she wasn't going to take her pictures where I had expressed interest. I find out she did anyways after I received the save the date. My sister was the photographer who also knew my interests. she also lied to my sister about taking me aside to talk to me to discuss her decision for bridesmaids. She has lied several times to me my sister and my fiance. Its frustrating to say the least.