S/O smokers at work - drinkers?

MeaghanandMichael

In my office I definitely notice a divide between the "good old boys" who dive into happy hour most nights and the rest of the office who don't even get an invite. The funny thing is these guys are 25-45, so not that old, but that is how they act. I got invited a bunch and went, but other co-workers definitely acted I was a jerk for breaking into the hated club. On the other hand there is the 'barely legal' cute girl club that every one is dying to be invited to go out with.  Wtf? I have never gone out with them because I am 'old' since I am married. I am 25. None of it makes sense.

Why is work like highschool sometimes? Experiences?

crfische

My work kind of IS like high school... a whole lot of adolescents and all.

MeaghanandMichael

Sorry fish, I can't even concentrate on what you wrote, I am just too enamoured with your presence in my life.

qwerty777

My company has strange rules about certain people hanging out, and its followed differently everywhere. My boss at my last store would go out with my team leads, but if I was there, she couldn't be. Then an intern went out with the group, and hooked up with one of the team leads, and blew it for everyone because it got very messy. None of the supervisors had anyone but each other on their facebooks or anything.

At my current store, everyone has each other on FB, and it's no big deal, but only the supervisors hang out together, and it creates huge rift between them and the rest of the store. They are so much more clique-y than at my last store that very few people respect them. There are a few that are awesome no matter what, but there has been some turnover recently (they are rarely in position at the same store for more than 18 months), and a lot of the newer ones have made the clique even more apparent, and are just making everyone else hate all the supervisors more. There are always pics of the parties they have all over FB.

crfische

It happens, Meg. IT HAPPENS. How have you been over there in South Beach?

missy68

I've been invited to go out after work once.  The pool I'm in - I'm the youngest. I'm 42. With the exception of one other, all the other women are grandmothers. I just can't relate. In another pool, there's another group of women, but they are in their 20s.
I kind of hover in between. But I'm also not a big drinker (one and I can't drive any more). I wait until the big Halloween party we go to each year and let J watch my back. Oh and I might have a couple when we're biking with a big group. It depends on if the asshat of the group has ruined my mood or not.

MeaghanandMichael

ewww I avoid work FB like the plague...

I think it totally fine for a boss to go out with every one else though. They just have to leave at some point so every one can tlak about them

MeaghanandMichael

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_smokers-work-drinkers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3932a9ac-a8bc-443b-911a-0920d7b79bc7Post:c894a3fc-4a17-4a4d-9588-2d99fdc5594c">Re: S/O smokers at work - drinkers?</a>:
[QUOTE]It happens, Meg. IT HAPPENS. How have you been over there in S outh B each?
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

Non existant. I think this is first time I knotted in a longgg time. Sad, I know. But yeaaah shades on <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-cool.gif" border="0" alt="Cool" title="Cool" />

crfische

Oh I have co-workers on facebook, all right, but they can't see a damn thing.

crfische

Well, hey there, pretty lady!

reddy123

Oh man, my work is like a high school considering it has about five departments and about 1,000 employees (sports arena), combined with seasonal workers, it's one giant high school. That amount of workers = tiers and tiers of management, which makes major cliques. The gossip is terrible, my boss has a old 80's poster (like from a high school) with black oil all over hands, it says "Gossip: don't pass it on". It doesn't sound funny, but considering my work environment it cracks me up every time I see it. 

kellyjellybelly

I work with almost all women.  It is ridiculous.  I think there is more gossip and drama than there was when I was in high school.  A few of the girls and myself have been pulled into the office because we are a 'clique' and don't include other people.  Really, all I want to do is go to work, do my job and go home.  

Krysti21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_smokers-work-drinkers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3932a9ac-a8bc-443b-911a-0920d7b79bc7Post:22aaa371-6b80-4f2c-9424-72aaf3242031">Re: S/O smokers at work - drinkers?</a>:
[QUOTE]My company has strange rules about certain people hanging out, and its followed differently everywhere. My boss at my last store would go out with my team leads, but if I was there, she couldn't be. Then an intern went out with the group, and hooked up with one of the team leads, and blew it for everyone because it got very messy. None of the supervisors had anyone but each other on their facebooks or anything. At my current store, everyone has each other on FB, and it's no big deal, but only the supervisors hang out together, and it creates huge rift between them and the rest of the store. They are so much more clique-y than at my last store that very few people respect them. There are a few that are awesome no matter what, but there has been some turnover recently (they are rarely in position at the same store for more than 18 months), and a lot of the newer ones have made the clique even more apparent, and are just making everyone else hate all the supervisors more. There are always pics of the parties they have all over FB.
Posted by qwerty777[/QUOTE]

Qwerty, it sounds like you work for the same retailer I did for 6 years, based on the language you're using. :)  I worked at 3 different stores, and there were all pretty cliquey, and the same thing happened. The people who went out every damn night got to be friends with the team leads, and then they got other privileges and such. Annoying.

emarston1

Yeah my work is definitely like highschool.  Silly me, I thought that once I entered the "real world" all the highschool BS and politics would be gone and we could just work.

I was very naive, I know.

ETA a few stories:  I had an old co-worker who seriously was livid with me because I didn't tell him "Good Morning" (I said Hi) before I asked him to fix something he screwed up.  He refused to talk to me until I said "Good Morning".

He also threw a hissy fit in my office one day in front of a bunch of our collegues, told me that I "was the single most frustrating part of his job" (5 minutes before he was telling me he was trying to work on our communication), and assorted other things.

Needless to say he no longer works with us.

qwerty777

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_smokers-work-drinkers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3932a9ac-a8bc-443b-911a-0920d7b79bc7Post:29257e28-62fb-44b7-9845-c7442522726a">Re: S/O smokers at work - drinkers?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O smokers at work - drinkers? : Qwerty, it sounds like you work for the same retailer I did for 6 years, based on the language you're using. :)  I worked at 3 different stores, and there were all pretty cliquey, and the same thing happened. The people who went out every damn night got to be friends with the team leads, and then they got other privileges and such. Annoying.
Posted by Krysti21[/QUOTE]

Yeah, it is incredibly annoying. I don't know if I used any specific language, but I will say that we don't call them supervisors, but if I use their actual title, it doesn't make as much sense (I don't think, at least). Right now I'm shooting for a position in headquarters, and the department I would be in would be so much nicer, and from what I understand, isn't cliquey at all, which is very appealing to me. They all seem to act like adults.

lisarose7

Most of the places I've worked have a high concentration of women...I think that tends to result in a high school-ish atmosphere.  There are always cliques and drama, regardless of age.  Fortunately, gossip is at a minimum at the job I have now because the head of my current department can't stand it and fires anyone she catches spreading rumors.

Krysti21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_smokers-work-drinkers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3932a9ac-a8bc-443b-911a-0920d7b79bc7Post:9d7cdb0b-2142-4c09-b823-47260191113c">Re: S/O smokers at work - drinkers?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O smokers at work - drinkers? : Yeah, it is incredibly annoying. I don't know if I used any specific language, but I will say that we don't call them supervisors, but if I use their actual title, it doesn't make as much sense (I don't think, at least). Right now I'm shooting for a position in headquarters, and the department I would be in would be so much nicer, and from what I understand, isn't cliquey at all, which is very appealing to me. Th<strong>ey all seem to act like adults.</strong>
Posted by qwerty777[/QUOTE]

More people should do that. Here's hoping!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

My company does/did have rules about supervisors having lunch with their employees. I just know that the sale manager got in trouble for fraternizing with his team too much on breaks. It was weird.

But since the lay-offs, my office is actually way more laid-back. Of course, they laid off the HR rep...

There's one group of guys in our office who go out to lunch almost everyday, take each other out for birthdays, go to happy hour, etc. But no one else is really looking to "break in" to the club.

There are 2 people left I tag along with at lunch sometimes, but mostly I catch up on stuff. I'm really friendly with people at work, but I don't let it cross into my personal life. I've been burned like that before. Thankfully, most of my coworkers are married or have kids or houses, and therefore have their own personal lives and don't need to drag work stuff outside the office.

kellyjellybelly

You can be fired for spreading a rumor?

MeaghanandMichael

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_smokers-work-drinkers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3932a9ac-a8bc-443b-911a-0920d7b79bc7Post:1338a37f-37a9-4ad0-9fc9-a53787fbf61b">Re: S/O smokers at work - drinkers?</a>:
[QUOTE]You can be fired for spreading a rumor?
Posted by kellyjellybelly[/QUOTE]

I was a little shocked by this too. Even if you do spread some horrific rumor, isn't it just one employee's word against another?

kellyjellybelly

Shiit, there would be no one left working at my job, including my manager, if people were fired for spreading rumors.  

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_smokers-work-drinkers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3932a9ac-a8bc-443b-911a-0920d7b79bc7Post:7c8f5dda-9059-45db-a8f6-1992f3db2ead">Re: S/O smokers at work - drinkers?</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh I have co-workers on facebook, all right, but they can't see a damn thing.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

I have FORMER coworkers on FB. Not current.

reddy123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_smokers-work-drinkers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3932a9ac-a8bc-443b-911a-0920d7b79bc7Post:5881f5a4-2b54-4cc1-9288-5126afa16ea0">Re: S/O smokers at work - drinkers?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O smokers at work - drinkers? : I was a little shocked by this too. Even if you do spread some horrific rumor, isn't it just one employee's word against another?
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

<div>No, because let's say it's about why someone got fired and management doesn't want that spread and makes it clear, anyone who spreads it is going to hear 'where did you hear that?" from a direct boss, and it will eventually lead to who is spreading it. Disharmony in the workplace + direct insubordination of manager = two fireable offenses.</div><div> My work is SUPER strict about talking about other's salary. If anyone is caught talking about it (or even allegedly), it's instant dismissal. Tips = salary, so it happens a lot, actually.</div>

reddy123

Oh and "disharmony in the workplace" is a great loophole that can get anyone fired at my workfor almost any reason. Awesome.

kellyjellybelly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_smokers-work-drinkers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3932a9ac-a8bc-443b-911a-0920d7b79bc7Post:49d40ff7-c132-43a6-9e19-e118ea332117">Re: S/O smokers at work - drinkers?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O smokers at work - drinkers? : No, because let's say it's about why someone got fired and management doesn't want that spread and makes it clear, anyone who spreads it is going to hear 'where did you hear that?" from a direct boss, and it will eventually lead to who is spreading it. Disharmony in the workplace + direct insubordination of manager = two fireable offenses.  My work is SUPER strict about talking about other's salary. If anyone is caught talking about it <strong>(or even allegedly)</strong>, it's instant dismissal. Tips = salary, so it happens a lot, actually.
Posted by reddy123[/QUOTE]
So, basically, if you really dislike someone you work with, you can easily set them up to get fired?  I mean, in theory, you could go to management and tell them that Mary Jane is talking about Sally's salary and she'd be fired?

reddy123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_smokers-work-drinkers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3932a9ac-a8bc-443b-911a-0920d7b79bc7Post:6e9c1487-2f25-4ba2-aa7d-9b3ab7755d7f">Re: S/O smokers at work - drinkers?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O smokers at work - drinkers? : So, basically, if you really dislike someone you work with, you can easily set them up to get fired?  I mean, in theory, you could go to management and tell them that Mary Jane is talking about Sally's salary and she'd be fired?
Posted by kellyjellybelly[/QUOTE]

<div>Actually we do have a "three strikes" rule, so the manager might have to hear it from three different people at three different times...</div><div>Also, another great way to get someone fired, "so-and-so said _____ to me and upset me and the whole team, causing disharmony." (key word: disharmony)</div>

kellyjellybelly

Wow, I don't think I'd be able to work at a place like that.  If I had to, I would probably never say a word to anyone, and then get in trouble for causing disharmony by not being friendly

katiewhompus

I work in a high school and the teachers are just as bad as the kids. English only hang out with English, Science with Science, etc. As support staff I have a few work friends in different departments and I do get weird looks going between them. Our final staff lunch was completely akward high school feeling. We get lunch and then you stand there going "ok, who can I sit with? Well that table is full...and that table is the creepy teacher..I wonder if I'm cool enough to sit at that table?"

katiepoppy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_smokers-work-drinkers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3932a9ac-a8bc-443b-911a-0920d7b79bc7Post:bdd82b4b-19f5-4ebe-8e53-10c13c1336ed">Re: S/O smokers at work - drinkers?</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh and "disharmony in the workplace" is a great loophole that can get anyone fired at my workfor almost any reason. Awesome.
Posted by reddy123[/QUOTE]

I am late to this, but I wanted to say that I am really surprised that you don't have at-will employment at your workplace.