Wedding Etiquette Forum


Hey Ladies,

It is three weeks to my wedding.  We are having a no kids wedding but my cousin just had a baby two months ago.

She is wondering if she can bring an infant...what should I say?
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Re: Kids

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    brilibby4brilibby4 member
    First Comment
    edited July 2010
    You should say yes.  Infants are usually an exception to the "no kids" rule as they are often dependent on their mothers due to breast feeding.  Also many people are not comfortable leaving babies that young with a sitter.  One baby won't ruin your wedding.

    Edit: I read too quickly and thought your cousin had her baby two weeks ago not two months ago.  Telling her that her baby is not welcome won't be as bad since he or she is older than I was originally thinking.  (Personally, I would still allow the baby though)
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    Well, what do you want to say?
    If you don't want kids, then don't have kids. Just be ready for you cousin to turn down your wedding. Not saying she definitely will, but it could happen.
    You could make an exception for her, but then you open up a can of worms for all the other parents who were told their kids weren't invited.
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    I think infants are exception
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    It is generally suggested that infants should be the exception to the no kids rule.

    Many breastfeeding mothers cannot leave their children with a sitter, as would be the case with older children.  Suggesting that she can "just pump" and leave the baby at home is an ignorant suggestion on the part of the person making it, for several reasons.  1)  many women can't pump, period.  2)  unless you have an overactive supply, one cannot pump enough in a pumping session to cover one feeding.  3) if a mother is actively breastfeeding, she would need to either nurse or pump when the baby is supposed to be feeding.  It's much less PC for mom to hook her boobs up to a pump in the middle of a reception than it is to nurse a baby.

     Inviting a mother with an infant under a year and insisting that she leave the baby at home is essentially uninviting her to the ceremony.  Sure, you can hold fast to the "no kids" rule, but new mothers may not be able to attend. 

    There are usually two reasons that people site for not inviting babies, and they both tend to be non-issues.
    1)  the baby will disrupt the ceremony.  In many cases, it's older children that are more at risk of disrupting a ceremony.  Sure, babies cry, but they also sleep 80% of the day.  If a baby does start to cry, many parents have the sense to remove them from the situation.
    2)  other guests will be offended if they see the baby there, but had to make other arrangements for their own kids.  Guests that have children of their own should understand why a breastfeeding infant would be an exception.
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    I agree with tide....she said everything I would have.
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    That was a quick copy and paste Tide. This was discussed in the other thread. I guess you aren't aware of all the working BFing mothers. Yes mothers are capable of not being with their babies 24/7.

    Infants don't belong at wedding receptions. There is no place to put them. Infants cry and no one wants to listen to crying infants. No kids mean no kids.
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    Thank you guys.  You all make really good points and I didn't think of them...I appreciate it!  I let her know that the baby is welcome.
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    I'd say no, but it's really up to you -- how important is the no-kids thing and how much do you want the cousin there? Personally I think it's rude of her to ask.
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    We have a no kid policy for our wedding. Which will be next May. One of my friends is due approx. 3-4 weeks before the wedding her infant will be invited but her other chikdren will not be.
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