what if...

mlinck

What if someone gets engaged at my wedding reception?  Is it ok for someone at your wedding to get engaged at your special event?

I am so scared that it's going to happen.  And my fear was heightened yesterday when I found out that an old friend of mine got engaged at her best friend's wedding.

I really don't want to sound like a bridezilla but I need some advice.  I have 2 bridesmaids that I think this might happen to.  Can I casually make an example of this girl who got engaged at her bf's wedding and tell these two girls how crushed I would be if someone did that at my wedding or should I just let it go?

I am at such a loss here... what should I do?

arbolita

I don't see the point in mentioning it to your bridesmaids, because I'm going to guess that if this happens, they won't be the ones proposing.

pumpkinpumpkin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-if?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b4b6026-5668-43e0-b806-1a62f0473bd3Post:ae9852cc-f203-46e0-8cb8-5244d1d865fb">what if...</a>:
[QUOTE]What if someone gets engaged at my wedding reception?  Is it ok for someone at your wedding to get engaged at your special event? I am so scared that it's going to happen.  And my fear was heightened yesterday when I found out that an old friend of mine got engaged at her best friend's wedding. I really don't want to sound like a bridezilla but I need some advice.  I have 2 bridesmaids that I think this might happen to.  Can I casually make an example of this girl who got engaged at her bf's wedding and tell these two girls how crushed I would be if someone did that at my wedding or should I just let it go? I am at such a loss here... what should I do?
Posted by mlinck[/QUOTE]

Seriously? SERIOUSLY?

Who would propose at a wedding reception? You have bigger fish to fry m'dear.

akhensley81

Personally, I wouldn't give a rat's asss if someone got engaged at my wedding. It's a wedding. I don't see the big deal?

Rosie109

Just don't cry if it happens. 

vannymuse

I would go, "yay!" and then propose a toast.

mandysmear

Wow.  What a biitch move.  I hope that if it happens your BM slaps her BF and says NO!  How dare they also get married. 

scoetto

I don't see the problem here? IF somebody does get engaged at your wedding take it as a compliment. But worrying about it seems silly to me.

LD1970

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-if?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b4b6026-5668-43e0-b806-1a62f0473bd3Post:05ab87d2-0f11-4d44-bbc8-978979466be6">Re: what if...</a>:
[QUOTE]I would go, "yay!" and then propose a toast.
Posted by vannymuse[/QUOTE]
Same here!

Rosie109

I get nervous when I think about our guests and if they will have a good time, now I see I have bigger fish to fry with my worries. 

louisvillebride21

I admit, I'd be upset. I wouldn't let on to anyone but H. But damnit, we always say, 'you get one day!!!111!!". Well give my my damn day! Can I not have 6 hours of then entire year be just about me and my H? At least that would be my thought.

I would be all passive agressive and do exactly what you're planning. But PP is right, they won't be the one proposing, so you may still be SOL. But good luck and act gracious if it does happen.

arbolita

I think the OP is silly for worrying about this, but I wouldn't blame her for being annoyed/upset if it does happen. It's very AW-y of anybody who thinks that another person's wedding is the correct time to put themselves in the spotlight and propose to their s/o.

ETA: Upon thinking about it, I might be a little happy or excited if the couple getting engaged was someone close to me.  However, it it was some second tier friend/relative, I stand by my original statement.

laurenclaire1386

I think it's rude to upstage someone else's party and I would hope that your BMs significant others would choose another time to propose. That said, I also think it's silly to sit around and worry about it, and you shouldn't say anything. If it happens, it happens. They're not gonna hijack your reception or anything. The fact that someone gets proposed to at your reception won't make everyone forget that the reason they're partying is cause you got married.

allisong23

I think it would be very rude to get engaged at someone else's wedding. I am not one of those "but it's my DAAAAAAAYYYYYY" people, but people did get together to celebrate a couple's wedding, not another's engagement (especially since many of the people there woild not even know the couple).

However, I really don't see it happenning at your wedding.

mandysmear

I would also be a little, uh turned off.  But, I would never mention it to anyone and be all "omg, guess what happened at so-and-so's wedding!?"  and make an example as a way to ensure it wouldn't happen. 

Seems a little childish. 

Another option is, OP can announce she's pregnant at the couples wedding.  Hah.

ohwhynot

Interesting variety of responses.  Personally, I'd be thrilled - how romantic!  I'd also love it if someone announced a pregnancy - everyone would be there to celebrate. 

That said, I think most people wouldn't want to horn in on another celebration and I suspect most people would hold back.  I don't think you need to worry about this. 

squirrly

I, honestly, don't get the big deal.  I don't.  I've had friends get engaged in public at events.  And I've had others announce it at events (I was in a sorority, so all the announcements were done via "candlelight" before SOMETHING).  In every case, we yell, congratulate the couple, and in under 5 minutes are back to whatever is at hand. 

We have some friends that, had they gotten engaged at our wedding, my response would have been "about time!  where's the rest of that champagne?".  Really.  Not a big deal to me. 

But, if you think it's going to ruin your day, I suppose the passive aggressive tactic you've laid out is about the only one available to you.  That or a really big sign that says "DON'T GET ENGAGED TONIGHT" on the front door. 

cengle

I would be annoyed, but no good will come out of worrying about it.  I can't imagine why someone would want to propose at someone else's wedding, though.  That just seems really odd to me.  Wouldn't they want their own moment, if they even wanted to do it publicly?  If I was at a wedding reception, and someone announced that they just proposed, I would think them rather rude.

temerityjane

I would be pretty put off if someone proposed to their significant other at my wedding. Like others, I try very hard not to be one of those "MY DAY MY DAY MY DAY" women, but the fact of the matter is that the party is being thrown is because of our wedding.

HowEVer, I wouldn't mention it, because... well, have some faith in your friends and their significant others to recognize that choosing another day would be for the best. We're talking about adults here, you know? They're just as likely to want a special day for their engagement as your are for your wedding - they probably won't want to share the day, either.

arbolita

I love to think of the passive agressive thank you note that would be sent to this couple:

Dear Mr. and soon-to-be Mrs. AW:

There are no words to express the emotion that overcomes me when I think about how my wedding and your proposal will be forever linked through time. 

i also want to thank you for your generous monetary gift.  We were going to put it towards a down payment, but I think a better use will be to compensate the photographer for all those amazing shots he took of your proposal. He missed out on Aunt Gertrude was have a touching moment with her kids and grandkids, but I'm sure that can be recreated easily.

Looking forward to your pending nuptuals - I'll be racking my brain with all the ways I can repay you!
Love,
mlinick

Allen+Smith

I am actually really hoping my brother proposes to his gf the weekend of our wedding. I'm suspecting he will soon, and it's a great place to do so (it's a destination thing). I'd rather it not be in the middle of our reception, but if he chose to do it then, I'd still be super thrilled, and probably bear hug both of em

georgia_bride09

I'd let it go, but I'd also be SO embarrassed if I were proposed to at a wedding. I just don't that's the right venue. FWIW, I got engaged in a park. Just the two of us. Our families knew and were sitting at home waiting for us to call, but still. We didn't AW it at a wedding.

wadingmoose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-if?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b4b6026-5668-43e0-b806-1a62f0473bd3Post:05ab87d2-0f11-4d44-bbc8-978979466be6">Re: what if...</a>:
[QUOTE]I would go, "yay!" and then propose a toast.
Posted by vannymuse[/QUOTE]


Yep.  This.  (Ha ha, I just annoyed someone).

No really, shouldn't you be happy for your friends engagement?  Really?  I mean... really?

susieq87

If they do that at your wedding, I would try really really hard to get pregnant around 9 months before their wedding, and then at the reception, in the middle of the toast, stand up and yell with your big belly that you are going into labor (even if you just fake it). Ok, so I am only kidding, that is just the first thing that popped into my head. I think I would be upset too if someone tried to steal my day away too, but what are you going to do. Instead of making a big deal, just be happy for them, and everyone else will think that guy was an idiot for proposing at someone elses wedding.

Sing2phins

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[QUOTE]I think it's rude to upstage someone else's party and I would hope that your BMs significant others would choose another time to propose. That said, I also think it's silly to sit around and worry about it, and you shouldn't say anything. If it happens, it happens. They're not gonna hijack your reception or anything. The fact that someone gets proposed to at your reception won't make everyone forget that the reason they're partying is cause you got married.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]
This.  I think it's tacky and rude to propose at someone else's wedding reception, but in the end, it probably doesn't matter that much. 

ANd, come to think of it, if it did happen, wouldn't it be someone who was pretty close to you  (because otherwise, why would be special to propose then?), in which case, I'd probably be  pretty psyched for my pals.

ARod22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-if?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b4b6026-5668-43e0-b806-1a62f0473bd3Post:05ab87d2-0f11-4d44-bbc8-978979466be6">Re: what if...</a>:
[QUOTE]I would go, "yay!" and then propose a toast.
Posted by vannymuse[/QUOTE]

<div>And that would be the graceful response to a not-so-graceful move on the proposer's end.  </div><div>
</div><div>The end.  Stop worrying about silly things happening at your wedding... or keep it up and you'll start to sound like me! :-)</div><div>
</div><div>You will laugh at yourself when your wedding is over... I know I will, too.</div>