Wedding Etiquette Forum

No MOH?

When I first got engaged, I asked my best friend (of 15 years) to be my MOH. Of course, she screamed yes! Fast forward almost a year; me and her had a serious falling out and haven't spoken in months, despite my one attempt to patch things up. Needless to say, I don't want her to be my MOH, much less to attend the wedding. Do I continue with the wedding plans and just not include or invite her? Which leads to another question- can I have close friends as bridesmaids and no MOH?

Re: No MOH?

  •  I always advise that if you boot the MOH you'll ruin any chance of a friendship with her, but it doesn't look like that is a concern of yours, anyway, lol.
    You can have no MOH, it's up to you.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_moh-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b93db1d-0557-4e08-b4c5-b5fb592c5e3fPost:9571d44b-15f3-4b36-ab7f-e202bf1eb9ca">No MOH?</a>:
    [QUOTE]When I first got engaged, I asked my best friend (of 15 years) to be my MOH. Of course, she screamed yes! Fast forward almost a year; me and her had a serious falling out and haven't spoken in months, despite my one attempt to patch things up. Needless to say, I don't want her to be my MOH, much less to attend the wedding. Do I continue with the wedding plans and just not include or invite her? Which leads to another question- can I have close friends as bridesmaids and no MOH?
    Posted by ArmyBrat1[/QUOTE]
    I'm sorry to hear that your friendship with your best friend ended.  It's perfectly fine to have BMs and no MOH.  In your case, it's the best decision; you don't want to replace your MOH, because it would make whomever you ask feel like she's second string. 

    As far as the rest of the WP, we recommend waiting to ask members of your WP until 6-8 months before the wedding, to avoid situations like the one you described.  Relationships can change a lot over the course of an engagement.

    Good luck!
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  • Yeah, there's nothing left in that friendship so that's not a concern. My FI suggests I ask his sister to step up as MOH (I know she would, me and her are really cool), but shouldn't that honour be reserved for a best friend, if anyone at all?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_moh-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b93db1d-0557-4e08-b4c5-b5fb592c5e3fPost:e2dcd71a-97d7-45dc-b04a-2c234f4fdd92">Re: No MOH?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My FI suggests I ask his sister to step up as MOH (I know she would, me and her are really cool), but shouldn't that honour be <em>reserved for a best friend, if anyone at all?</em>
    Posted by ArmyBrat1[/QUOTE]

    Since when is MOH reserved for anyone? Your bridal party is supposed to be made of people who you are closest to and it doesn't matter how/why you are close.

    On another note, not having a MOH is fine in my opinion. I'm not having one. I didn't want to pick one person and basically say I like you more than the others so please be my MOH.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_moh-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b93db1d-0557-4e08-b4c5-b5fb592c5e3fPost:e2dcd71a-97d7-45dc-b04a-2c234f4fdd92">Re: No MOH?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yeah, there's nothing left in that friendship so that's not a concern. My FI suggests I ask his sister to step up as MOH (I know she would, me and her are really cool), but shouldn't that honour be reserved for a best friend, if anyone at all?
    Posted by ArmyBrat1[/QUOTE]
    Yes, that position should go to the person closest to you. If you want to make that your FSIL, that's fine but the choice is yours. I wouldn't ask her or anyone just for the sake of having a MOH. When is your wedding date? I should have checked that but I didn't. ANyway, I would wait as long as you can before making any final decisions. A lot can change in only a day... so heaven knows what can happen in days, weeks and even months.
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  • Based on this, I would say the friendship is toast and you have no interest in continuing with trying to patch this friendship up, so I would say go ahead with what you want, don't invite her, and if you want, promote another, or don't worry about it. Hope you have a wonderful day.
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  • If the friendship is over, ditch her. You can have no MOH or you can ask your FI's sister. Either would be fine.
  • If your wedding is April 2012 you have a LONG way to go before the day. I would not make any big changes regarding your MOH yet, because you never know- you may just work things out.  Once you get closer to the day, ie: when it's time to go bm dress shopping, that's when I'd decide. And it's perfectly fine to have just bridesmaids, and no MOH.
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