bridesmaid blues

foxykell17

So i am getting married in august and my fiance's little sister is getting married in june. we were talking about who will be our bridesmaids and she told me she might not have me as one, which made me a little sad. the thing is we both come from the same background where its normal to have siblings (& sister-in-laws) as bridesmaids as well as friends but if she were to do that she would have over 8 bridesmaids. i am facing the same problem i would have about 10...so the solution we came up with was do friends, sisters, and only sister-in-laws that are close in age to us putting her at 4 or 5 and me at 8. so what do you think leave out the older sister-in-laws and possibly hurt their feelings or include them and have a huge wedding party? they have babies and so that was a reason we thought maybe they wouldn't mind cuz they will be busy with them.

DramaGeek

I think you need to A) ask th people you want and decide how important familial peace is to you.  If keeping the peace is more important, then ask them all and let them decline if they don't want to do it.  If it's more important to keep the WP small, then choose a number and ask the people closest to you.

lharri12

If I were you, I wouldn't want to ask some SILs and exclude others.  If asking them means having 10 BMs instead of 8 BMs, that's really not that big of a difference.  Certainly not worth potential hurt feelings with the future in-laws.  Just my opinion though.

Kristin789

You should ask your closest friends, the women who have been with you through thick and thin, who have been privvy to the details of your courtship and engagement with FI.

If FI's sister has truly been one of your very closest friends over the past three years, and you call her and text her to confide things about her brother to her, then yes, you should ask her to be a BM.

If she's not that close to you, you don't ask her to be a BM.

If she's that close to FI, that is - she truly is one of his best friends as well as his sister and he has confided things to her about your relationship like a best friend, then HE can have her stand up for him on his side.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I wouldn't ask on SIL and not another. I'd do either "family" (sisters and SILs) or family and friends. Personally, I'd learn towards less. Big WPs are expensive and ridiculous.