Minors & Alcohol

Nefferbeth

There are only 3 kids attending my wedding, all of them around 12 years old (the flowers girls). The wedding and the reception are at the same location. I would like to serve alcoholic drinks and I know most of the people attending would want me to. What do I do about the few kids? I was thinking of setting up a kids room maybe with a baby sitter and some games - Wii, Playstation, etc. But do they eat there? Is it their parent's responsibility to watch that they do not pick up the wrong drink? What is the proper thing to do?

mocha beans

Yes, it should always be the parents' responsibility to watch their kids, especially when there's alcohol around.  A kids room sounds like a good idea to keep them entertained.

Pirata13

If there are only 3 kids, let them enjoy the dancing and the rest of the reception.  If you're so worried about them getting drinks mixed up, give them "special" cups or something.  I have to say this is one of the oddest questions I have ever seen. 

lyndausvi

To me you are overthinking this.

But then again I grew up in a family that had alcohol at EVERY family event whether it was a first b-day party, christening, sunday's at grandma's, even funerals. 

At a very young age we knew what were the adult drinks and what were not. 

At age 12 those kids also should know.

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_minors-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3dbbde92-7c21-4466-a16a-5e8c6e869704Post:1fb3d2dd-7324-4dc9-a07f-0d29c1ecd946">Re: Minors & Alcohol</a>:
[QUOTE]If there are only 3 kids, let them enjoy the dancing and the rest of the reception.  If you're so worried about them getting drinks mixed up, give them "special" cups or something.  I have to say this is one of the oddest questions I have ever seen. 
Posted by Pirata13[/QUOTE]

Um, yeah.  Agree.  Hi overthinking!

suedoe

I like the idea of special cups. Maybe plastic ones. That way if a child is seen with a glass then they will be caught drinking and they won't accidentaly pick up the wrong drink.

danieliza1127

I think you're definitely overthinking this.  I've been to too many weddings to count and never seen a problem with kids at the reception.  We had a lot of kids at ours and an open bar and had no problems at all.  The parents will watch their kids.  You don't have to have a separate room.  At that age, they would probably rather be with the adults or dance than be in another room anyway.

wadingmoose

Really?

Trust me, the parents can and should look after their own children.  For three children, you do not need a children's room.

Why is this a question?

tenofcups4me

They're 12 years old -- that's too old for a separate kids room. I wouldn't even think twice about alcohol. They know they can't drink it, they're probably young enough that they wouldn't even try to get a drink, besides maybe an approved sip from a parents' drink. Why would you even think they'd pick up the "wrong" drink?

bbyckes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_minors-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3dbbde92-7c21-4466-a16a-5e8c6e869704Post:ec15a379-6919-4848-a7ca-f843110b647f">Re: Minors & Alcohol</a>:
[QUOTE]To me you are overthinking this. But then again I grew up in a family that had alcohol at EVERY family event whether it was a first b-day party, christening, sunday's at grandma's, even funerals.  At a very young age we knew what were the adult drinks and what were not.  At age 12 those kids also should know.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

Exactly this.

JK10910

If they're 12, they're likely too old to pick up a cup with alcohol accidentally, and too young to try to do it purposely.  I also think they're too old and there's too few of them for a kids' room and it will be  waste.

And really?  3 12 year old flower girls? 

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_minors-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3dbbde92-7c21-4466-a16a-5e8c6e869704Post:9e65d528-e0ca-4950-9868-5970c6df49c4">Minors & Alcohol</a>:
[QUOTE]There are only 3 kids attending my wedding, all of them around 12 years old (the flowers girls). The wedding and the reception are at the same location. I would like to serve alcoholic drinks and I know most of the people attending would want me to. What do I do about the few kids? I was thinking of setting up a kids room maybe with a baby sitter and some games - Wii, Playstation, etc. But do they eat there? Is it their parent's responsibility to watch that they do not pick up the wrong drink? What is the proper thing to do?
Posted by Nefferbeth[/QUOTE]

btw - I had 7 kids ages 6,9,9,10,10,10 and 14.  There were no issues with picking up the wrong drinks, they ate with us and danced all night long.   Their parents also refused games of any type, they are old enough to socialize in an adult like manner.

ac_in_dc

Yeah, 12 is too old for a separate kids room. Kids love weddings anyway. The kids at our wedding 5 months ago are still talking about it.

Who is taking responsibility for alcohol at your venue generally? Does the venue have insurance? Are you hiring a professional bartender with insurance? It's their job to monitor alcohol consumption, not yours.

And frankly, I'd worry a lot more about older folks drinking and doing something stupid (like driving) than about a 12 year old inadvertantly having some wine. The separate cup thing is just silly.

sucrets4

Ditto on having 3 12 year old flower girls...that's kinda weird.

They should be fine around alcohol, and if they're not then it's not your fault.

squirrly

12 is too old for flower girls, in my opinion.  And 3 flower girls is too much.  3 12-year old flower girls is WAY over the top.  Also, that puts them in 6th grade.  If they're old enough to remember a locker combination and change classes on schedule, they can manage being at a party with adults.  They don't need a separate room.  And they don't need special cups. 

Heck, at 12 I was babysitting my little sister for 3 - 4 hour periods.  I didn't need a babysitter unless it was for overnight.

Mrs.B6302007

Overthinkers Anonymous

Theresa626

I wouldn't stress it at all.  Your wedding is not a club. I don't think it will be inappropriate for the children to be around drinking adults.  It's not the same thing as bringing a child to a bar.  It is a sit down dinner with alcohol.  Much classier.  It is always the parent's responsibility to watch their child and make sure they are not drinking the wrong drink.  In addtion, it is the venue's responsibility to card those who are under 21.  They will probably do so.  

JK10910

Theresa626, is 6/26 your birthday?  Awesome day for a birthday

Nefferbeth

Thanks for the response although some of it was a little rude. A few of my relatives had adults only receptions because of alcohol and I was just unsure if it would be a problem. Maybe it was over thinking, but I just wasn't sure if there was anything special I needed to do on my part (Maybe a warning in my invites to give the parents a heads up?). But it is clear that no one here thinks it will be a problem, so I won't worry about it. Also about the 3 flower girls, they requested it and they are my younger cousins and if they want to be in my wedding I am happy to have them. Thanks for the advice.