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Etiquette

Save the dates lost in the mail.

Darn you, USPS.

I used VERY visible white ink on dark paper for my save the dates. I called the USPS and I checked with 6 different post offices to make sure this was okay. They all said yes, they're legible, perfect, great.

I got news from FI's aunt that she did not receive a save the date, and she and my FMIL would like hers re-sent.

I've had to re-send several already because some addresses our parents provided to us were incorrect and we received the letters back in the mail.

But now that I'm doing some spot-checking, it looks like about 1/3 of the people we sent STDs to did not receive theirs. I did not budget to be re-making and re-sending STDs, and I honestly don't have the time to make them all again. The wedding is in 6 months.

Would it be rude to send an email saying "hey, we're so sorry your STD got lost in the mail, here are the details, please save the date and we hope that you do receive it soon!" We're already going to have to check with everyone we sent an STD to to see if they received theirs. Plus, they'll be getting their invites in four months.

I'm so frustrated! If I had gotten any sort of hint that the ink/envelope would be a problem, I would not have done it... lesson learned.

Re: Save the dates lost in the mail.

  • How long ago did you send them? Were they magnets?
  • Could you maybe scan one and send it via email to people who use email?   
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  • harper0813harper0813 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    edited February 2013
    Avion - that's a great idea. I do have two spare.

    These were regular paper save the dates, inside envelopes. No magnets.

    ETA: Oh, and I sent them about a month ago.

  • We originally had the same issue. It started when my cousin's husband wrote me a very nice e-mail mentioning that they were at my aunt's house and she had the STD and was getting ready to book a hotel room, and he was wondering if they were invited, too, because he didn't want to book anything possibly nonrefundable. I was like of course you're invited, didn't you get the STD? They hadn't. Then, my FI got a call. His aunt called his dad and screamed at him (really) because she heard other people received one and she didn't. So, then I contacted some people who are close to me and some of them didn't receive them. In the end, all the people received one, some three weeks later, except for one person. After this, a friend of mine who is engaged mentioned she was having hers [I can't remember the word, but I think it was something like hand-stamped] so the post office handles each separately instead of throwing them through a machine to avoid this apparently common issue. I am definitely doing this with our invitations.

    I asked about magnets because another friend sent magnet STD's and they stuck together through the envelopes so some people received 3 different ones stuck together. 

    If it hasn't been too, too long, give it time. I do think PP suggestion to scan and e-mail them is great! It will head off some of the issues we had when they didn't all arrive at the same time.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_save-the-dates-lost-in-the-mail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3df2260c-ae32-445c-996d-80c49c7fbf7bPost:5ca61883-7804-4aac-a0b5-80f8592e7f4d">Re: Save the dates lost in the mail.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I asked about magnets because another friend sent magnet STD's and they stuck together through the envelopes so some people received 3 different ones stuck together.
    Posted by AndreaJulia[/QUOTE]

    <div>I have never thought about this but now I'm a little worried. The magnets on ours aren't super strong so hopefully they will be okay. If I got that in the mail I would definitely put the extras back in the mail at least!</div>
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

  • the 'hand stamping' PP mentioned is called hand-cancelling.  It's when they put that red mark over the stamp to show it's been used.  You can definitely ask at the post office to have it done; I've never heard of them saying no but if they did you could just try a different PO.

    Also I think scanning the STD and emailing it to those you think didn't get them is a great idea, OP.
  • My FI and I sent out magnet STDs.  When he orginally went to the post office to ask about the postage, nobody mentioned hand-cancelling to him, but when I physically went there with the STD's addressed and in hand, thankfully, a nice lady at the desk explained the hand-cancelling issue to me with magnet STDs.  Ours were not that strong either, but she specifically said that when these go through the sorting machines, they can get stuck together or get stuck in the equipment and belts and the envelopes can get torn/lost/etc.  I didn't want to deal with any of that, so I sucked up the extra 20 cents for each one (I think postage on each envelope was about 66 cents) and hand-cancelled them all.  

    Even though my invitations will not be magnets, she suggested I do the same (hand cancelling) for the invitations since those are heavier, fancy envelopes and you spend so much time putting them together, calligraphy, etc.

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