Bridesmaids and tattoos!!!

sbishop07

My maid of honor, and other bridesmaids all have tattoos on their arms, wrists, backs.... the tats are pretty but I don't want them to distract our family and other guests. I want people to look at our wedding photos and say "What a beautiful wedding!" not "Oh my god! LA Ink was at your reception??!"  
Would it be inappropriate for me to ask them to cover their body art with a shawl or jacket or even tattoo covering make-up? These girls are my best friends and I don't want anyone to be offended. I have two small tattoos on my back too that I'm covering up with make-up... Is it too much to ask they do the same?? HELP!

opalsky007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaids-tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3e768244-9612-4f1d-b4d2-2d1dad38af5ePost:fcffba09-ba14-4929-9613-aacb279f574f">Bridesmaids and tattoos!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]My maid of honor, and other bridesmaids all have tattoos on their arms, wrists, backs.... the tats are pretty but I don't want them to distract our family and other guests. I want people to look at our wedding photos and say "What a beautiful wedding!" not "Oh my god! LA Ink was at your reception??!"   Would it be inappropriate for me to ask them to cover their body art with a shawl or jacket or even tattoo covering make-up? These girls are my best friends and I don't want anyone to be offended. I have two small tattoos on my back too that I'm covering up with make-up... Is it too much to ask they do the same?? HELP!
Posted by sbishop07[/QUOTE]

Yes, that's too much to ask. Just let them be themselves.

L-Bride

Yes, it's rude to ask your friends to cover themselves up for your wedding because you're worried about not having pretty princess pictures. If you want you can get them pashminas to cover some of them but that's the extent of it.

ETA: I want to add that if I were a BM in a wedding and had tattoos, I wouldn't mind covering them if the bride asked. That's just me but other people may be insulted by this request.

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaids-tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3e768244-9612-4f1d-b4d2-2d1dad38af5ePost:fcffba09-ba14-4929-9613-aacb279f574f">Bridesmaids and tattoos!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]My maid of honor, and other bridesmaids all have tattoos on their arms, wrists, backs.... the tats are pretty but I don't want them to distract our family and other guests. I want people to look at our wedding photos and say "What a beautiful wedding!" not "Oh my god! LA Ink was at your reception??!"   <strong>Would it be inappropriate for me to ask them to cover their body art with a shawl or jacket or even tattoo covering make-up? These girls are my best friends and I don't want anyone to be offended.</strong> I have two small tattoos on my back too that I'm covering up with make-up... Is it too much to ask they do the same?? HELP!
Posted by sbishop07[/QUOTE]
Yes it would be wrong. I'm assuming you were well aware of these tattoos when you asked them to be in the wedding, so you shouldn't sound all shocked about them. Those tattoos are permanent parts of your friends and it's ridiculous for you to ask them to cover them up. Get over it.

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaids-tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3e768244-9612-4f1d-b4d2-2d1dad38af5ePost:fcffba09-ba14-4929-9613-aacb279f574f">Bridesmaids and tattoos!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]My maid of honor, and other bridesmaids all have tattoos on their arms, wrists, backs.... the tats are pretty but I don't want them to distract our family and other guests. I want people to look at our wedding photos and say "What a beautiful wedding!" not "Oh my god! LA Ink was at your reception??!"   <strong>Would it be inappropriate for me to ask them to cover their body art with a shawl or jacket or even tattoo covering make-up?</strong> These girls are my best friends and I don't want anyone to be offended. I have two small tattoos on my back too that I'm covering up with make-up... Is it too much to ask they do the same?? HELP!
Posted by sbishop07[/QUOTE]

Yes. You can cover up your tattoos - it's your choice. But asking your friends to cover theirs is no more ok than asking them to change their hair color or lose weight for your wedding. This is how they look. You need to just accept that.

And people might notice the tattoos for a second, it's true. But they are hardly going to notice them more than they notice you, your FI, the wedding as a whole...it just doesn't work that way.

Celles

Exactly what Opal said. 

I promise you, when you look at your pictures, you are going to see your best friends.  You will view them as the whole people they are, and not as canvases for their ink.  If you have guests who aren't capable of this, well -- that's on them. 

Relax.  Let it go. 

FutureMrsFezz

I think it's crazy to ask your "best friends"  to cover up ink.  That's who they are.  Just my opinion though.  It's not going to take away from you or the wedding. 

AdeleDazeem

You need to screen your bridesmaids better.  Obviously, listing all tattoos and their potential for embarassment should have been one of your questions during interviewing.

Pirata13

What opal said.

Most people aren't going to be focused on the tattoos anyway, and as long as none are offensive (i.e. you're getting married in a church and the tattoo says *@#^# CHRIST!!!!) real big on her back.

Plus I can tell you, that makeup is ok, but it does rub off on stuff. I do a lot of theater and have had to cover mine and I always need touch-ups. All I can see is a bunch of makeup rubbed off on peoples' clothes, including potentially your dress.

SeptemberFall2011

Could the photographer airbrush them out?  The tattoos I mean.  That way you still get nice photos and they can be themselves.

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaids-tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3e768244-9612-4f1d-b4d2-2d1dad38af5ePost:a7327ca0-32b2-4c3f-8a5c-854c907c8b37">Re: Bridesmaids and tattoos!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Could the photographer airbrush them out?  The tattoos I mean.  That way you still get nice photos and they can be themselves.
Posted by SeptemberFall2011[/QUOTE]
That's pretty disengenuous. If I were one of the BMs and I knew good and well there was a tattoo on my shoulder, then magically it wasn't there in the photos, I'd be offended.

jayjoe

I agree with what everyone said. I've been to tons of weddings that had BM's with ink. Not once did i ever find myself staring at a tattoo all night and forgetting about the bride and groom. Your guests will not be "distracted" (by which im sure you meant not paying enough attention to you and your hubby).

kikibaby

I agree with Joy.  I would just hire models with perfect, clear skin to be my BM's.  YWIA. 

ootmother2

As much as I personally dislike tattoos, most people think that they are part of their personal idenity and it would be wrong to ask them to cover up

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaids-tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3e768244-9612-4f1d-b4d2-2d1dad38af5ePost:a7327ca0-32b2-4c3f-8a5c-854c907c8b37">Re: Bridesmaids and tattoos!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Could the photographer airbrush them out?  The tattoos I mean.  That way you still get nice photos and they can be themselves.
Posted by SeptemberFall2011[/QUOTE]

You can get nice photos of people with tattoos. To suggest otherwise is pretty offensive.

And speaking as someone who has her wedding photos, I think that there's something wrong with you if you let tattoos ruin photos of you, your brand new husband and the people you love most/who love you most all celebrating on your wedding day.

qwerty777

I have two small tattoos that would be visible in anything other than a long sleeve dress, and I would be pretty offended if I had to cover them in order to be in a wedding. I didn't cover them for my own ( and didn't expect any of the WP members to either) and will not cover them for anyone else's wedding.

Snippylynn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaids-tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3e768244-9612-4f1d-b4d2-2d1dad38af5ePost:a7327ca0-32b2-4c3f-8a5c-854c907c8b37">Re: Bridesmaids and tattoos!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Could the photographer airbrush them out?  The tattoos I mean.  That way you still get nice photos and they can be themselves.
Posted by SeptemberFall2011[/QUOTE]
Unlike LC I'm not going to pull out the big words.  This is fucking LAME. 

My sister and MOH have tatttoo's and no one even gave a crap.

andy71781

I would be really offended if a friend asked me to do this.  Don't cover up or airbrush your friends out of your wedding.

qwerty777

Also, I went to a wedding last year where the bride and all the BM's covered their tattoos with makeup. It looked absolutely awful and it called more attention to the tattoos than if they had left them uncovered. Not sure what kind of makeup was used, but it didn't match the skin tone of any of the girls, and you could still see the tattoos underneath.

sbishop07

Thanks for all your feedback!! This is my first rodeo girls, first wedding, first everything, so go easy on me.  Obviously I knew about the tattoos, they are my best friends, Heck I was with them when they got them. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with them, I have tattoos myself and I'm well aware they're part of who we are.  I'm no bridezilla by any means and I certainly don't have any intentions of being offensive to anyone. I was just looking for some opinions, so thanks to all!

jayjoe

Ladies we got a mature one!!

Welcome to the board Sbishop

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaids-tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3e768244-9612-4f1d-b4d2-2d1dad38af5ePost:fd5af344-0bc6-41fd-83c9-3a5a5fef6ea9">Re: Bridesmaids and tattoos!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for all your feedback!! This is my first rodeo girls, first wedding, first everything, so go easy on me.  Obviously I knew about the tattoos, they are my best friends, Heck I was with them when they got them. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with them, I have tattoos myself and I'm well aware they're part of who we are.  I'm no bridezilla by any means and I certainly don't have any intentions of being offensive to anyone. I was just looking for some opinions, so thanks to all!
Posted by sbishop07[/QUOTE]

You're alright - stick around.

If we came off a little strong, blame it on the fact that this has been asked before, and usually instead of a response like yours we get "well I think I should do it anyway, it's my special day, and tattoos are inappropriate for my 90 year old grandma."

salt78

I'm glad you were so reasonable to the responses.  

And I'm all aboard the tattoo train. You really can't ask them to cover them. Personally, if someone asked me to cover mine for a wedding, I'd be totally miffed. Mostly because I hope that my friends accept who I am tattoos or not. 

cherbein

I agree with all the past posters that the tattoos are part of who your bridesmaids are and asking them to cover them wouldn't be right. 

I also agree that you're handling the situation well.  It can be hard to accept opinions that differ from what you're hoping for.  No worries about being a bridezilla!

Calypso1977

assuming these are your "best friends" have your family members been offended by their tattoos in the past before?  i'm sure your family must have seen them in tank tops or shorts at some point.

also, why would you want to cover up your own?  if you are so grossed out by it, why did you get it to begin with?

andy71781

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaids-tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3e768244-9612-4f1d-b4d2-2d1dad38af5ePost:fd5af344-0bc6-41fd-83c9-3a5a5fef6ea9">Re: Bridesmaids and tattoos!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for all your feedback!! This is my first rodeo girls, first wedding, first everything, so go easy on me.  Obviously I knew about the tattoos, they are my best friends, Heck I was with them when they got them. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with them, I have tattoos myself and I'm well aware they're part of who we are.  I'm no bridezilla by any means and I certainly don't have any intentions of being offensive to anyone. I was just looking for some opinions, so thanks to all!
Posted by sbishop07[/QUOTE]

hi!  you seem nice.  thanks for taking our advice!  stick around and play you'll learn lots more about how to get through your wedding rodeo.  (i like that).

sbishop07

IT's not that I'm grossed out by the tattoos I have, or that my friends have for that matter. And I definitely don't expect everyone to look like picture perfect models... Not to mention, my tattoos are tributes to my great grandmother who has passed away back in 2008, and the other will be hidden by my dress anyway... so, actually maybe I won't cover it.  I think I'd actually be more offended covering up something that symbolizes a family member who's passed... especially one we all loved SO much.

See?!?! This is why I need to talk through things - I didn't even think of that until hearing it from someone else!!  Doesn't help that I'm planning most of this while Im at work and can't concentrate. Thanks again!!

[Deleted User]

Im marrying into a Mormon family (but Im not converting, my FI isnt really a practicing one) and an aunt 'mentioned' me covering my tattoos..I was highly insulted..tattoos are truly a 'to each his own' thing and your girls probably feel beautiful; w ith them..let them shine and be comfortable in their skin..<3 they will love you even more for being an awesome friend...=)