"I'm pregnant and".... (tv show)

Calypso1977

has anyone seen this?  its on discovery.

i watched on on demand last night where the mom to be was 55 and the dad to be was 63.  tehy got pregnant using in vitro so it definitley wasnt an accident.  it was the mom's first, and the dad's second (his only other child was 35 and had 2 kids of her own).

i know we talk alot about people being too young for kids, but what do folks think is too old for kids?  i couldnt imagine being 81 years old at my child's high school graduation....  the guy's daughter was not on the show, but they indicated she was not supporitive and would not be the legal guardian if somethign happened to them.

angie74

eh, I try not to judge people's decisions like that. I, personally, think it's a bad idea... I wouldn't want parents that old, nor would I want to be having kids at that age.

a friend of mine who's my age (27)... her dad is 75, my parents are 55. HUGE difference. she's never had an issue with his age- he's healthy, and remains young despite his age.

people live to be really old these days. you never know what this guy is going to be like when he's 81 and his kid is graduating.

mgietler76

i think it's unfair to the child to have a baby that old. The best memories with my mom are yet to come, I couldn't imagine my mom not being at my wedding, the birth of my children etc. I saw this episode as well and think they are being extremely selfish. If they have so much love to give why not sponsor an older child in need of love and support like foster care or something of the sort?

SnShne322

Did they give any reason for wanting a child at 55 and 63?  I'm inclined to say that it seems a little selfish, even though I don't think that's the right word for it. It seems definitely risky and expensive.

Calypso1977

the mom said she'd always wanted kids, but there just wasnt ever "time" with her career (she was in finance, worked 60-80 hours per week during the typical "mothering" years.

at the end of the show, they were talking about trying again in one year so the kid woudl have a sibling. i think that's what threw me even more.

parker624

Although I think 55 is way way way too old to start having kids, I think I might support the child having a sibling.  At least when the parents are so old, the child won't have to support them on his/her own, and will have a bigger support system around when he/she is younger and the parents are in theri 70's.

andyandhillary

I worry about the safety of the baby and the mother but at the end of the day that is their choice.  Would I do it myself?  Probably not.  Watching my uncle and his wife (55 and 45) wanting kids very badly though it's hard to judge. 

AdeleDazeem

I saw that episode.  I try not to judge people who have children late in life, even this late.  I know all the arguments against it and I can't say I would do it myself, but these people went in with eyes open. 

What bugs me is a post secret I read that said women should not have children past the age of 35.  Um, please.  I know the risks, I chose to build a career and to be financially stable before having a child.  As long as I'm still fertile, I'm having a freaking baby.  I'll support it and love it, no matter what, post secret jerk.

kikibaby

I think, as with all things baby-having related, it's entirely their business.  If they think they can still handle it, more power to them.

baystateapple

My friend's father passed away just this past week.  He was 69 years old, almost 70, and her mom is in her 70s as well.  They adopted my friend from Mexico when she was one year old.  I don't think it's selfish to want a child, even when you're older.  My friend loved her father as much as any other child.

I don't think wanting a child when you're older is selfish.  I don't think that people should automatically be denied the right to IVF or adoption just because they are older.

waltzingmatilda13

I used to judge, but now I don't because even having a child at a young age doesn't guarantee anything in life. My H's father died of a heart attack when he was in his 40s. H was 7 years old and the youngest of 4 children. You never know what is going to happen so I think the decision to have a child should be left up to the parents. It's nobody else's business.

MarriedInAFever

I saw that episode too. But the episode before it was, "I'm pregnant and addicted to narcotics." And I thought that was the title of the show, always. So when the older couple came on next, I was like, "Wow. They're older AND she's on drug while pregnant. That can't be good." And I waited to see what kind of drug she was addicted to. It was a dumb moment.

PirateintheSky

I have a very hard time establishing myself either for or against this issue.

On one hand I think it is very easy for someone to say a 55 year old parent who is financially and mentally stable compared to a 17 year old who is still is in high school would most likely be a much better parent.  And a child deserves a family that can support it. Also, even though they are old does not mean that they will be necessarily inactive or unhealthy.  I have a grandmother who is 84 and in amazing shape. 

However, I only have one grandmother, my other three grandparents have already passed away. And two before I graduated from high school while they were in thier late seventies. I think it is more likely the case that they will not be able to care for the child the way they would like to as it gets older.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I had a friend in college who was adopted when her parents were in their late 60s and had several grown children. Her mother passed away when she was 14 and her father died when she was 19 or 20. Of old age - they were in their 80s. She had to work in high school and pay her way through college because her dad was on a fixed income. She loved her parents, but I couldn't do that to a child.

FI is 36 and we want to have a baby in about 3 years. That's one reason I don't want more than 2 - I don't want to have kids after he hits 45 (I'll be around 31, ideally, when we have our first). I know some people who were born to parents in their late 30s who find there's a pretty big gap, there. My dad's parents were 35 and 41 when he was born, which was pretty unusual in the 1950s. Plus, they were in their 60s when I was born and are no longer living. Children with very old parents might also miss out on having grandparents.

Calypso1977

msmery, that's similar to our timeline if we do decide to have one...i dont want one after 35 (which is only 1.5 years away!) and H doesnt want one after 40 (although hes got 4 years until 40, so i may split the difference and say the cut off for me is 36 or 37).  for us though, its more about the long term plans for retirement that is driving our timeline versus biology.

JennandJoel2010

I've said this before, but my dad was 70 when I was born. He passed away when I was 20 years old, at the age of 90.

It royally pisses me off when people say it's "selfish" to have children at an older age. Yes, it REALLY sucks that my dad is dead. I miss him terribly and it saddens me that I didn't get to know him as an adult. That he won't be physically at our wedding, or meet our children.

But, I'm pretty pumped him and my mom decided to be "selfish" and have me. I'd rather exist and have to deal with normal life experiences, like you know, death, than not exist at all. But that's just me.