Wedding Etiquette Forum

Rude to have photos taken while guests are eating?

Morning everyone,

I was looking for some outside perspective on our photography timeline. We're getting married at 11:30 am and having a lunch reception (plated meals).

We've booked our photographers for 5.5 hours. Originally, we were planning on having the ceremony and moving right over to the reception (same grounds, different building). We were going to eat, mingle, and then take pictures (approx 3 hours after the start of the ceremony).

Our photographers have pointed out a potential issue - After the ceremony/eating/mingling/sitting, they don't think anyone will look fresh for photos (clothes, hair, make up). I can understand that this is a valid issue (especially with kids getting messy, potential for food spillage on the suits or dress, etc).

I'm trying to come up with a solution. We do not want a gap in between the ceremony and reception. We were thinking 30 minutes tops, to give time for all of the guests to get to their seats and settled into the reception. OUr reception is pretty much just eating and mingling. We aren't having a garter toss, bouquet toss, speeches, first dance, etc. It's an afternoon wedding, so we're presuming people will start to leave by around 3ish because there's no dancing.

We also don't want to do photos before the wedding because we're already going to be rushed getting everything taken care of and getting everyone ready that morning. Also, we wanted to be more traditional in the sense of not seeing each other until I walk down the aisle.

So. In your honest opinion (which I know you ladies will share), is it rude to take our photos while the guests are eating? I would have loved to sit down and enjoy the meal with our guests, but if we need to forego that in order to get the timing right for the photos, I'm willing to. The plan would be to get married, greet/chit chat for a few minutes with the guests, send them off to eat, and take our photos then. Afterwards ,we'll head into the reception and eat the best we can while mingling with the guests for a while before people start to leave. Rude? Realistic?
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Re: Rude to have photos taken while guests are eating?

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    Rude? No. I suspect some may ask "Hey, where are they?" but if a cocktail hour isn't in the plan and you don't want to do photos before the wedding, I'm not sure what alternative you have. I would undoubtedly still go from table to table to thank guests.
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    That's such a good idea!
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    J&K10910J&K10910 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="">Re: Rude to have photos taken while guests are eating?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think that sounds fine but you could probably get photos done beforehand also.  Even if you don't want to see each other, you can do photos with your girls and he can do photos with the guys.  That might cut down the time a little.
    Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

    Our ceremony was at 3.  We started pictures at 1:30.  I was up at 7.  I don't think it's just about not seeing each other, but rather not having to get people up at 3 am.

    I think it's fine to do some photos during the meal--but you need to then be prepared for the very real possibility of not getting any food.  For me, that would have been unacceptable because of my low blood sugar issues.  And the fact that I, you know, wanted to eat some of the food we were paying a lot of money for. 

    I really don't get your photog's concern though, either.  You'll actually probably have better lighting for outdoor photos later in the day, and makeup and hair can be touched up if necessary.  I'd take some of the photos before dinner (people expect that)--like with kids (prone to spills, etc), and some shots  with people that would leave shortly after eating (older relatives), and then do some fun ones with you and your wedding party after dinner, if I were in your shoes.

    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
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    We did a couple photos during dinner, before the dancing started. We were probably only gone for a half hour or so. I assume everyone got along fine!
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    mizutamababymizutamababy member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited May 2012
    IDK as a guest I would think it weird if I were at a reception, it was meal time, and the bride and groom weren't there for a significant period of time.

    We did group pics before the ceremony with guests that arrived early and after to get the full family/guest shots we missed with those that couldn't make it until later.  You're going to want to be at the place early anyhow to be on the safe side so might as well use the time. :)  Also you'll probably want to take a few group shots with everybody after the ceremony.  I figure photog can probably get BP photos in before the ceremony no problem as well.

    I guess if you have to take pictures during dinner at least keep it short so your guests don't feel abandoned and make sure to hit all the tables as PPs suggested.

    You can always take pics of just you two after the reception... I personally wouldn't want to do this as I usually don't feel too pretty after eating, but if ya'll don't mind it would give you both the most time without feeling rushed.
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    I think I'll stick with our original plan of taking the bulk of the photos post-reception. I agree that the lighting will be better and that we'll get to actually sit and enjoy our meal with our guests.

    I'm still debating taking bridal party photos before the ceremony. We'd be doing them at my mom's house (where we're getting ready), and I think the only option would be to take them outside. At that time of day (anything before 11 AM), her yard it usually full of dew and the sun doesn't hit the backyard until later in the day.

    I don't think my photographer meant to freak me out, but she did! I think we'll all (mostly) be presentable post-meal though, and hearing about some other ladies who did this made me feel more comfortable.
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    My brother and sister in law did this and it was....okay. They took care of bridal party and immediate family pics before the ceremony, then we took whole HP pictures and they took all their pics during lunch. They didn't have dancing or anything, and I feel like guests were disappointed that they were not around for that chunk of time.
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    I'd do it before or after, not during. Should use that time to walk around and say Hi to everyone and thank them for coming. That alone takes awhile
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    I think that would be fine
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    McRogolMcRogol member
    Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    Definitely don't do it during lunch, especially becuase you've chosen a plated sit down meal.  AND if you're up taking photos the whole time will your family and wedding party even get their food? 

    As a wedding photog myself, I would suggest you take photos of you, the gals, and your family prior to the ceremony.  Have your fiance take photos of him, his guys, and his family at the same time (2nd shooter?  or the photog can transition over to them if the location is close).  Then immediately after the ceremony take the few remaining photos of the two of you with your fam.  Post receotion do portraits of just the two of you.

    That's what I would  do. :)  BUT regardless of what you decide, this is your wedding day - it's about creating a new branch of your family.  Whenever you take photos will be a-ok.  Enjoy your day and connect with the friends and family you come to celebrate with you!
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