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Wedding Etiquette Forum

How to deal with hotel coordinator? (LONG)

We are expecting a lot of out-of-town guests, and quite a lot that are going to be from out-of-country, too. To make things easier for our guests, we have booked a hotel block early (9 months pre-wedding) so that we could include inserts with hotel info in our invitations. We are working on our wedding invitations now, and I have to finalize the design in the next 2 weeks to send it so that the design can be turned into plates for letterpress printing. The reason that I'm saying this is because basically, in two weeks, we need to know what's going on with the hotel.

2 months ago, the coordinator at our venue gave us the contact info of the coordinator at the closest hotel to our venue (a hilton garden inn, 600 meters away). We started talking to the Hilton rep on the phone, and she seemed really great at first and offered us a decent deal. We met up to look at the hotel about 3 weeks ago. During this meeting, we negotiated a few more perks (coupons for breakfast, a private brunch reception the day after the wedding, upgrades, delivery of tote bags, late check out, free parking, etc). 

We were very happy with the hotel since it's closest to the venue (the rest are not walking distance), it's a new hotel (2 years old), has a free airport shuttle (good for guests that are flying in), and all that stuff. We wanted to sign the contrutact to book the block then, but she said that she'll just email it to us and we can sign it at our convenience. I waited for 2 weeks for that contract. 

When she finally emailed it to me, it was a blank contract! NONE of the things we had discussed and negotiated were in it. She told me to "fill it out with our info, and she'll do the rest after". Ummm no, I am not filling out and signing a blank contract! So I told her that I didn't notice anything that we had discussed in it, and that I'd like her to include those things before I sign. Didn't hear from her for a week, until Friday. I emailed her AND then called and left a message, and she said she'll get back to me on Monday with a new contract. Big surprise, it's Monday, she's gone home for the day, and still nothing.

The problem is that this really is the best hotel for our guests, and by far the nicest (and somehow, least expensive!) in the area. I don't want to lose the hotel, but at the same time, I'm getting really frustrated with how long it takes her to do anything, and technically, all she's done is make promises and send a blank contract.

Do you have any recommendations on how to talk to her to make her understand that I need this resolved asap so I can move on with the invitations? Sorry that was so long!
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Re: How to deal with hotel coordinator? (LONG)

  • You really didn't need to specify that it was long.  We've come to expect that from you by now.
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  • Can you go in person to talk to her?



  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-deal-with-hotel-coordinator-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafb04a-64dd-4764-b9bf-a8a6b97e7da0Post:914377ea-a482-4509-aa43-c2a89f9bcb9f">Re: How to deal with hotel coordinator? (LONG)</a>:
    [QUOTE]You really didn't need to specify that it was long.  We've come to expect that from you by now.
    Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]

    <div>I'll try to condense next time.</div>
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  • Add all the terms you discussed to the contract yourself and when you send it back to her ask her to initial the changes you made and send you a copy of it.
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  • I would line up the next best hotel and tell her if you don't get what you discussed by a certain day, you're outta there.  If you don't have a good feeling about it, and I wouldn't after getting the blank contract, then seek other options.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-deal-with-hotel-coordinator-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafb04a-64dd-4764-b9bf-a8a6b97e7da0Post:e55755e0-d450-47c2-8420-0aedc0946b73">Re: How to deal with hotel coordinator? (LONG)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Can you go in person to talk to her?
    Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]

    <div>I wish... Every time we stop by, she seems to be "out of the office". Any time we call, it goes straight to voicemail. Our only chance seems to have been email, but then we're stuck waiting for whenever she chooses to respond. </div><div>
    </div><div>I mean, I get that people are busy, but I remember the advice that the ladies keep giving on here; "if they don't treat you well before they have your money, how will it be after?" It kind of worries me, but I'm also sad because this hotel is such a great one, I just wish she were easier to finalize things with (I just need the contract signed so that I can put it on the invite and people can start booking!!! gahhh!).</div><div>
    </div>
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  • A StephBeanWed615...

    Sorry, I don't know how to do a "reply to this post" for you... there seems to be no button for it! Is that an option or a glitch? 

    I like your idea a lot, I don't know why I didn't think of it! I think I will do that tonight, when fh gets home, to make sure I haven't forgotten anything. Hopefully all she'll need to do is accept it, sign it, and it'll be done.

    You were such a great help! I hope it works! Thanks so much!
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  • Also, here is what this post should have said. "We just got the hotel block contract from our first choice hotel and it doesn't include any of the terms we discussed with the coordinator. What do I do?"
    imagemy to-read shelf:
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-deal-with-hotel-coordinator-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafb04a-64dd-4764-b9bf-a8a6b97e7da0Post:97b512b6-ec62-453f-bfac-c6142948628d">Re: How to deal with hotel coordinator? (LONG)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would line up the next best hotel and tell her if you don't get what you discussed by a certain day, you're outta there.  If you don't have a good feeling about it, and I wouldn't after getting the blank contract, then seek other options.
    Posted by tmwishful[/QUOTE]

    <div>Sigh, this is my fear. We really fell in love with the hotel and the options she had offered, but clearly if she won't follow through that's not good at all. I think I'll start checking for other options, and if in the meantime she gets it together and we can finalize it, then great. But if not, at least we'll know the next step.</div><div>
    </div><div>Thanks so much for the advice!</div>
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  • Good luck.  It sounds like she's dodging you.  You don't want to sign anything under those circumstances.
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  • StephBeanWed615...

    The problem isn't just that the contract was blank, it's that she's so slow to get everything done. Second, it's hard to walk away from the hotel when it's the nicest in the area and the least expensive. We checked out some other places, and they were very old, musky, not well maintained, and quite expensive ($170 instead of $100). I just don't know how great the options are in the area if I'm basing my opinion on what I've seen so far, so it makes me nervous to risk losing this nice hotel and price because the coordinator isn't really doing her job like she says that she will.

    But as I said, next time I will try to condense more.
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  • Also I wouldn't freak out about a blank contract. This happened to me with a fee vendors, they were,happy to sign off on my changes and have followed through with them.
    imagemy to-read shelf:
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-deal-with-hotel-coordinator-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafb04a-64dd-4764-b9bf-a8a6b97e7da0Post:b4634e2d-3637-4430-8e83-995b2a9afa6c">Re: How to deal with hotel coordinator? (LONG)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Good luck.  It sounds like she's dodging you.  You don't want to sign anything under those circumstances.
    Posted by tmwishful[/QUOTE]

    <div>It does sound like that, doesn't it? I don't know why, since we're bringing her plenty of business (we need a minimum of 40 rooms, and some people are even staying for multiple nights!). ANd she seemed so easy going and nice during the meeting. I keep thinking that maybe there's a good reason why she's difficult to get a hold of (for example, the guy whose company we're renting suits from had a death in the family, so he's been missing for a while... but that's completely understandable). </div><div>
    </div><div>I guess we're just going to have to look at other places and hope that we find something :(</div>
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  • StephBeanWed615...

    It's never happened to me, perhaps that is why I did freak out over it a bit. If it's not that unusual, then I hope that she'll just accept the changes that we'll put in tonight, and maybe that'll be the solution to this run-around. I'd love to be able to know that it's all done and taken care of so it can be one less thing to worry about!
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  • In Response to Re:How to deal with hotel coordinator? LONG:[QUOTE]StephBeanWed615...It's never happened to me, perhaps that is why I did freak out over it a bit. If it's not that unusual, then I hope that she'll just accept the changes that we'll put in tonight, and maybe that'll be the solution to this runaround. I'd love to be able to know that it's all done and taken care of so it can be one less thing to worry about! Posted by andra loves andre[/QUOTE]

    Here's the thing. She does sound a little flaky, but assuming she's willing to accept your changes to the contract, I just don't think one flaky coordinator is a good reason to move my guests to a less nice, less convenient hotel, you know? If she's THAT terrible, ask to speak to her manager and see if there's someone else at the hotel you can work with instead. I wouldn't inconvenience my guests over this unless I absolutely had to, and it doesn't sound, to me, like the situation has gotten that bad yet.
    imagemy to-read shelf:
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  • StephBeanWed615...

    you're completely right! That's why I'm so hesitant to move on to another hotel and still hoping that this can be resolved soon. 

    I wouldn't mind waiting if I had the time, but since the invitations need to be sent for printing soon, I just don't have that much time to wait. She seems like a nice girl and she's easy to get along with in person, I just wish getting a hold of her were easier! 

    I really agree with not wanting to put guests in another hotel, since as I've said, this one is not only the nicest but also the least expensive... and that's a rare combination! Fingers crossed that sending her the contract with the stipulations will work, because if it does, then I'm going to be so incredibly happy and grateful for the suggestion!
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  • If she doesn't reply at all or doesn't reply in a satisfactory manner, try dealing with her "supervisor" or whoever is a step above her.
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  • We had this same problem with our first choice hotel. It was the closest and offered a free shuttle to our venue so we definitely wanted it but every time I called the woman she wasn't there and didn't respond to my emails for 2 weeks. Finally she calls back and said there had been some problem and she wasn't getting any of her voicemails. Idk if I believe it or not but after that she's been very attentive and good with response time. She mailed me the contract, i signed and mailed it back to her. Just be persistent and do what PP suggested and alter the blank contract yourself and send it back
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-deal-with-hotel-coordinator-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafb04a-64dd-4764-b9bf-a8a6b97e7da0Post:7d77e844-d213-435f-9008-aff111b035a2">Re:How to deal with hotel coordinator? LONG</a>:
    [QUOTE]We had this same problem with our first choice hotel. It was the closest and offered a free shuttle to our venue so we definitely wanted it but every time I called the woman she wasn't there and didn't respond to my emails for 2 weeks. Finally she calls back and said there had been some problem and she wasn't getting any of her voicemails. Idk if I believe it or not but after that she's been very attentive and good with response time. She mailed me the contract, i signed and mailed it back to her. Just be persistent and do what PP suggested and alter the blank contract yourself and send it back
    Posted by allychase[/QUOTE]

    <div>thanks so much for letting me know about your experience!</div><div>I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but there's only so much I can wait. I hope persistence pays off, and fh I are actually working on altering the contract ourselves now. We'll be emailing it to her tonight and maybe we'll have a quicker reply from her that if we just waited for her to do it.</div><div>
    </div><div>p.s. I love your hair in your pic!!!</div>
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  • I've worked for hotels for a lot of years.  Sometimes there are flaky people (just like most jobs) but that is not always a reflection of the property itself.

    You have done your part, not it's time to call the General Manager.  If he/she doesn't take care of it then there is a problem with the property.  






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-deal-with-hotel-coordinator-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafb04a-64dd-4764-b9bf-a8a6b97e7da0Post:39fbef06-5b40-461e-9df4-b4414b0f829a">Re: How to deal with hotel coordinator? (LONG)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I've worked for hotels for a lot of years.  Sometimes there are flaky people (just like most jobs) but that is not always a reflection of the property itself. You have done your part, not it's time to call the General Manager.  If he/she doesn't take care of it then there is a problem with the property.  
    Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]
     <div>thanks for the reply! I don't think that her flakiness is a reflection of the property, as anyone else that I've met from the property was amazing at what they did. I think I'll try to send back the modified contract, and if there's still no reply by the end of the week, then I'll contact the general manager. I don't want to get her in trouble, but I do need a response! :)</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-deal-with-hotel-coordinator-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafb04a-64dd-4764-b9bf-a8a6b97e7da0Post:482a01bd-75be-4444-aa49-ad8c7708b406">Re: How to deal with hotel coordinator? (LONG)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How to deal with hotel coordinator? (LONG) :   thanks for the reply! I don't think that her flakiness is a reflection of the property, as anyone else that I've met from the property was amazing at what they did. I think I'll try to send back the modified contract, and if there's still no reply by the end of the week, then I'll contact the general manager. <strong>I don't want to get her in trouble, but I do need a response! :)</strong>
    Posted by andra loves andre[/QUOTE]

    <div>the problem with that line of thinking is how is the GM to know how his/her staff is doing without feed back?  Trust me when I say the GM wants to know.  After some investigation it might come out that she is bad or she has too much on her plate to do a good job. </div><div>
    </div><div>Or they might find the guest is the problem.   Not that I think you are.  Just saying when a GM gets a complaint they figure out what the problem is.  Sometimes it's guests expectations.  Most times it's either understaffing or a bad employee.</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div>






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-deal-with-hotel-coordinator-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafb04a-64dd-4764-b9bf-a8a6b97e7da0Post:2862c44f-1107-4edf-8372-3844f1d18f7e">Re: How to deal with hotel coordinator? (LONG)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How to deal with hotel coordinator? (LONG) : the problem with that line of thinking is how is the GM to know how his/her staff is doing without feed back?  Trust me when I say the GM wants to know.  After some investigation it might come out that she is bad or she has too much on her plate to do a good job.  Or they might find the guest is the problem.   Not that I think you are.  Just saying when a GM gets a complaint they figure out what the problem is.  Sometimes it's guests expectations.  Most times it's either understaffing or a bad employee.
    Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

    <div>Thanks for the reassurance! I hope I'm not the problem, I just want to know the contract is done and out of the way so that chapter can be closed until closer to the wedding, when people actually start booking. And you're right that the GM does need to know, especially if understaffing or overworking is the problem!</div>
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  • You are not the problem.  Just letting you know a complaint does not always warrant someone getting in trouble.   

     






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-deal-with-hotel-coordinator-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3fafb04a-64dd-4764-b9bf-a8a6b97e7da0Post:49508455-9d1c-42c2-bd36-6f3001a69cda">Re: How to deal with hotel coordinator? (LONG)</a>:
    [QUOTE]You are not the problem.  Just letting you know a complaint does not always warrant someone getting in trouble.     
    Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

    <div>Thanks, I hope it won't cause trouble. I mean, as long as I just say that I need it done soon and stay respectful and polite, it shouldn't.</div><div>
    </div><div>Thanks so much for reassuring me about this ;)</div>
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  • In my experience, coordinating weddings and corporate meetings, I've found that if you are unable to reach your coordinator, the next step is to call, ask for them, and when you are told they are out ask to speak to their superior. You then let that person know that you are eager to get your contract signed, but are having difficulty reaching your contact there, and wanted to ensure you were able to do business with them as planned. Usually the superior will take over your account from there, or will ensure that you have a call back within a very short time frame, and while some think it's "sneaky" to go a step above like that, you are trying to give these people business and money, and I'm sure the superiors would want to know if they are potentially losing money due to one of their employees. Best of luck to you!
    Praying for a miracle!
  • I'm sorry you are having to go through all of this.

    Actually, I've found a hilarious way to deal with this sort of behavior from vendors.  Fill the contract out with your own terms.

      It's human nature to love to jump over someone else doing something wrong, and even the laziest of vendors will stir off their behinds to call you up and let you know you filled out the paperwork incorrectly.

    Just innocently say "oh, sorry, I didn't know.  It was blank so I just filled in what you talked about with me.  Can you fix it and send it back?  I'd be happy to re-sign."

    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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