Champagne for head table only

calibud8

Technically I should say Kings' table (I won that battle finally!!).

Is it rude to only have champagne for the wedding party and their SOs?  I'm trying to be budget conscious and I'd like champagne.  Unfortunately I can't afford champange and glass rental for all 144 or so guests.

There will be an open bar with alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks for the rest of the guests.

Thoughts?

redheadfsu

Yes, it is VERY rude.

SarahPLiz

I would think it is rude, as a guest, except I don't particularly like champagne so I wouldn't be toasting you with it anyway. 

calibud8

that's what my gut instinct told me.  Thanks!!  It'll have to be all or nothing.

laurenclaire1386

I HATE it when people do this. I love the shiit out of champagne (that's a champagne bottle in my sig) and seeing other people prancing around with it when I can't have it is kind of infuriating honestly.

annakb8

Yes, it's rude. Don't do a champagne specific toast and just make champagne available at the bar. That way anyone who wants some can have it and those who don't enjoy champagne can toast with their beverage of choice. 

whitsy

Rude, sorry How many guests are you having? How expensive is it really to pick up a few bottles of champagne, at least just for a toast?

mica178

I'm not a fan of treating some guests better than others.  You wouldn't give the head table steak and the rest of the guests hamburgers, would you?

To save costs, could you ask the bartenders to pour the champagne into regular wine glasses?  Or serve sparkling wine (prosecco, cava, American champagne) rather than the French stuff?

ILoveToRobot

I went to a wedding where they did what you're talking about. It was a little dissapointing. I'd suggest you have champagne or even cider for everyone or none at all.

aragx6

I hate this too -- the last two weddings I've been in only the head table got champagne.

This is what my venue offers as well so I told him no way -- we'll either add $3/person for a champagne toast for all or we won't have our own. Budget will determine that choice as the date gets closer.

calibud8

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_champagne-head-table-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:400a4444-d06c-4427-801d-d08a335d10e8Post:10413a06-711d-4565-9824-4d41f0831c68">Re: Champagne for head table only</a>:
[QUOTE]Rude, sorry :( How many guests are you having? How expensive is it really to pick up a few bottles of champagne, at least just for a toast?
Posted by whitsy[/QUOTE]

it wasn't so much the champagne that is expensive, but the glasses.  The caterer was charging 75 to rent EACH.  If I assume all guests will come, that's 144 adults.  We'd be looking at $200 just for a toast.

ILoveToRobot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_champagne-head-table-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:400a4444-d06c-4427-801d-d08a335d10e8Post:08de4ba2-158e-464d-8b40-75a021f83068">Re: Champagne for head table only</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, it's rude. <strong>Don't do a champagne specific toast and just make champagne available at the bar</strong>. That way anyone who wants some can have it and those who don't enjoy champagne can toast with their beverage of choice. 
Posted by annakb8[/QUOTE]

That's a really good idea.

aragx6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_champagne-head-table-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:400a4444-d06c-4427-801d-d08a335d10e8Post:d9d40545-f3e3-4bbc-873d-eadb46207587">Re: Champagne for head table only</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Champagne for head table only : That's a really good idea.
Posted by ILoveToRobot[/QUOTE]

I'm going to ask my catering director if we can do this too. I don't mind paying for the champagne toast, but it would be a shame to pay for something that some folks won't like or want. Or at least have the servers ASK if they want it and charge me the # of glasses they actually serve.

whitsy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_champagne-head-table-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:400a4444-d06c-4427-801d-d08a335d10e8Post:2150da5d-38ce-434d-a747-e86550fb2148">Re: Champagne for head table only</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Champagne for head table only : it wasn't so much the champagne that is expensive, but the glasses.  The caterer was charging 75 to rent EACH.  If I assume all guests will come, that's 144 adults.  We'd be looking at $200 just for a toast.
Posted by calibud8@yahoo.com[/QUOTE]

Gotcha. Yeah, sorry about that!

ILoveToRobot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_champagne-head-table-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:400a4444-d06c-4427-801d-d08a335d10e8Post:2150da5d-38ce-434d-a747-e86550fb2148">Re: Champagne for head table only</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Champagne for head table only : it wasn't so much the champagne that is expensive, but the glasses.  The caterer was charging 75 to rent EACH.  If I assume all guests will come, that's 144 adults.  We'd be looking at $200 just for a toast.
Posted by calibud8@yahoo.com[/QUOTE]

Can you go to costco and find the plastic champagne cups? Might be much less expensive. I know it's not as nice as real glass but at least it would cut down on cost.

daria24

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_champagne-head-table-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:400a4444-d06c-4427-801d-d08a335d10e8Post:187daced-da70-47fb-ae9d-472e8a1e2dce">Champagne for head table only</a>:
[QUOTE] Is it rude to only have champagne for the wedding party and their SOs? Posted by calibud8@yahoo.com[/QUOTE]

<div>I was at a wedding where they did this-they busted out the sparkling cider for all their guests but gave the WP the champagne. But they also had kegs and relatives who were 50+ doing keg stands. And held "fundraisers" to pay for the wedding. So in the end, serving sparkling cider was just the tip of the ice berg. </div><div>
</div><div>Definitely just do a toast without a specified beverage-nearly every wedding I have been to has done this and no one minds. You just lift whatever glass is in front of you. Most of the time champagne-specific toasts are a waste of champagne. </div>

ILoveToRobot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_champagne-head-table-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:400a4444-d06c-4427-801d-d08a335d10e8Post:9053179e-67d5-4569-a3c6-e58c28088c14">Re: Champagne for head table only</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Champagne for head table only : I was at a wedding where they did this-they busted out the sparkling cider for all their guests but gave the WP the champagne. But they also had kegs and relatives who were 50+ doing keg stands. <strong>And held "fundraisers" to pay for the wedding</strong>. So in the end, serving sparkling cider was just the tip of the ice berg.  Definitely just do a toast without a specified beverage-nearly every wedding I have been to has done this and no one minds. You just lift whatever glass is in front of you. Most of the time champagne-specific toasts are a waste of champagne. 
Posted by daria24[/QUOTE]

Now why didn't I think of that? classy

lbarr088

Also, not such a wise decision to have your email as your username.  Just sayin'.

pgcp

You could enoy a toast together prior to the ceremony, just make sure you have food too so no one gets tipsy. or after the reception is done.  The trick is to not exclude anyone who is currently with you.

jsleik

I like the idea of having it at the bar.  I know plenty of people who loooooooove champagne and just as many who would let a glass just sit there. (Oh the humanity!) But if you do it at the bar, then you really are going with exactly who wants it and no one is cut out.  And serving it in regular wine glasses or plastic ones are both great ideas!

MyUserName1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_champagne-head-table-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:400a4444-d06c-4427-801d-d08a335d10e8Post:e8fa7c35-33c0-47a4-a3f9-e1ed308514a4">Re: Champagne for head table only</a>:
[QUOTE]I HATE it when people do this. I love the shiit out of champagne (that's a champagne bottle in my sig) and seeing other people prancing around with it when I can't have it is kind of infuriating honestly.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

<div>I get sad every time I see the bottle of champagne in LC's sig and I can't have any.</div><div>
</div><div>I vote do a different sparkling (cheaper) wine and put it in regular white wine glasses.</div>

Gabrielle76

I think anything that really sets the head table apart is rude.  That includes serving them something different, having the head table up on a big platform or stage, etc. Just have people toast with whatever they happen to be drinking.  It's cheaper, and people who don't like champagne aren't stuck with a random glass of it. 

NOLAbridealmost

My venue brought out champagne for just the WP and bride and groom without my knowing it.  We didn't have it available at the bar for everyone else and I felt really bad. I had no idea they would do that and it never even dawned on me to ask. Don't do it! 

ETA: Also, I hope guests might cut people who seemingly only had champagne for the WP some slack because it seems like a lot of venues (around here anyway) toss in champagne for the WP as a "perk" and don't necessarily tell the couple because it's supposed to be a surprise. It was for us. 

PinkRoseAcct

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_champagne-head-table-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:400a4444-d06c-4427-801d-d08a335d10e8Post:08de4ba2-158e-464d-8b40-75a021f83068">Re: Champagne for head table only</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, it's rude.<strong> Don't do a champagne specific toast and just make champagne available at the bar</strong>. That way anyone who wants some can have it and those who don't enjoy champagne can toast with their beverage of choice. 
Posted by annakb8[/QUOTE]

<div>This is what we're doing.  Champagne will be passed to the BP for the toasts, and available at the bar for everyone else, since the bar is beer and wine only.  But, our reception is semi-informal, an afternoon hors d'ouerve affair, so I'm not really worried.</div><div>
</div><div>The last wedding I went to, though, the guests got sparkling cider (the crappy grocery store kind) while the BP and parents all got Rosa Regale, and make a huge deal out of it.  Major dig to the guests - please don't do that.</div>

rebarobert2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_champagne-head-table-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:400a4444-d06c-4427-801d-d08a335d10e8Post:5987f76b-7b8b-46ae-a0ca-012dbaae01ee">Re: Champagne for head table only</a>:
[QUOTE]I think anything that really sets the head table apart is rude.  That includes serving them something different, having the head table up on a big platform or stage, etc. Just have people toast with whatever they happen to be drinking.  It's cheaper, and people who don't like champagne aren't stuck with a random glass of it. 
Posted by Gabrielle76[/QUOTE]

I agree that anything that sets the head table apart is rude.  I recently went to a wedding where my fiance was in the wedding party, and they seated him at the head table, but seated me alone!  Needless to say, I didn't have much fun at the wedding because I hardly got to see my fiance.  I was so annoyed.

So my vote is to either do champagne for all of your wedding guests or don't do it at all.

calibud8

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_champagne-head-table-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:400a4444-d06c-4427-801d-d08a335d10e8Post:c6ef9b30-e9ab-4a59-bf41-acc230eeafd3">Re: Champagne for head table only</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, not such a wise decision to have your email as your username.  Just sayin'.
Posted by lbarr088[/QUOTE]

it's not my email, but I hear ya.  after i reincarnated this Knot account due to a...security issue.... I coulnd't figure out how to change it.  The email was deactivated 2 years ago, but I still see your point :)

To everyone else, THANK YOU.  More reason I love this board.  I had no idea head tables were rude (never seen anything else but that to be honest).   My fiance and I are doing the kings table.  It will be huge (30+ once you add in the bridal party, their spouses and their kids) but it's the right thing to do.

I like the idea of champagne at the bar.  I'll buy some plastic glasses (even though i HATE those) for the bar and call it good.

Thanks again :)