Are limited bars tacky?

cat1121

I know the general concensus is that cash bars are tacky...but does that extend to limited bars?

Like if we host beer, wine and a signature drink and everything else is cash?

I'm having a hard time getting estimates on how much it might actually cost so its hard to budget. My venue contact said that beer, wine and a signature drink would probably be around $3500. How much might an open bar be?

The other issue is that we are having our wedding 2 hours away on a lake and I'm slightly concerned about people driving back drunk if the opportunity was there. I don't have too many wild guests that I know of but I'd rather be safe than sorry.

I know people say that you don't invite people over to your house and expect them to pay for their drinks, but generally when I invite people over I have adequate beer and wine and something like vodka and gin and mixers on hand. It's not like people expect a full bar at my house....or is this different?

Thanks.

2005sylvia

I think that you need to do what it takes to stay within your budget.  I don't like cash bars at all but I don't think that there is ANYTHING wrong with beer/wine and a signiture drink.  If I were you, I would kepp it at that though...I'm not sure I would even offer having a cash bar in the background.  With what you are considering, you are offering a nicely, well balanced option!

twilight.rose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_limited-bars-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:405c56d1-6658-4807-b81a-41c18179fcd5Post:8a945259-bd9a-47e2-8316-d96424891852">Re: Are limited bars tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]If I were you, I would kepp it at that though...I'm not sure I would even offer having a cash bar in the background.
Posted by 2005sylvia[/QUOTE]
This. Hosting beer, wine, and a signature drink is fine.

Julz629

Limited cash bars are not tacky, and are a great way to control the budget if you have this option.  However, I agree with PPs that you shouldn't even have the option to purchase alcohol -- beer and wine (and possibly a signature drink) is sufficient.

cat1121

Unfortunately it's at a lodge wtih a bar so I don't think they will remove  the rest of the alcohol.

Thanks for saying the limited is okay. I'm breathing a little easier.

[Deleted User]

I think beer, wine and a signature drink is fine. We only had beer and wine. That is all we could afford. At least you are trying to provide some alcohol for your guests.

quotequeen

Charging your guests for anything at your wedding is tacky.  Hosting what you can afford is not tacky, but the other options should not be available.  You wouldn't give your guests hot dogs but let them pay for steak.

tenofcups4me

I don't think a limited bar is tacky, but I do think adding on a cash bar on top of it is tacky. You really need to talk to your venue and get some information about how much different options would cost and if you can just serve a limited bar (I can't imagine why you couldn't, but I've read here about some venues doing strange things). That way at least you know what your options are.

Audrey&Austin

I think its perfectly acceptable. Since there is a bar at the lodge, I don't see the problem. You're offering beer, wine and a signature cocktail. I think that's plenty.

LeeJane25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_limited-bars-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:405c56d1-6658-4807-b81a-41c18179fcd5Post:8b32f8df-ad16-4898-a0a5-5b44527feccf">Re: Are limited bars tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think a limited bar is tacky, but I do think adding on a cash bar on top of it is tacky. You really need to talk to your venue and get some information about how much different options would cost and if you can just serve a limited bar (I can't imagine why you couldn't, but I've read here about some venues doing strange things). That way at least you know what your options are.
Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]

<div>If I were a martini person, or I only drank liquor or whatever, I would be more annoyed that I wasn't "allowed" to have my drink of choice than I would if I had to pay for it. It's completely understandable to have a limited bar and have anything extra be cash, but why would the hosts limit what guests can order for themselves through the venue? They can see the bottles behind the bar -- what is the bartender going to do, say, no, I'm not allowed to give you that, even if you pay me? </div><div>
</div><div>I went to a really annoying wedding once where a bar was available only after everyone was done eating, at like 8 p.m. Then, when they finally opened it, it was a cash bar. Ridiculous. </div>

jnic0319

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_limited-bars-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:405c56d1-6658-4807-b81a-41c18179fcd5Post:d0e0213f-ee4c-4cd9-8116-1d0faabb68d6">Re: Are limited bars tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Are limited bars tacky? : If I were a martini person, or I only drank liquor or whatever, I would be more annoyed that I wasn't "allowed" to have my drink of choice than I would if I had to pay for it. It's completely understandable to have a limited bar and have anything extra be cash, but why would the hosts limit what guests can order for themselves through the venue? They can see the bottles behind the bar -- what is the bartender going to do, say, no, I'm not allowed to give you that, even if you pay me?  I went to a really annoying wedding once where a bar was available only after everyone was done eating, at like 8 p.m. Then, when they finally opened it, it was a cash bar. Ridiculous. 
Posted by LeeJane25[/QUOTE]

I have to agree with this.  We are having a "limited" bar with beer, wine and house liquor - premium was beyond our budget.  However, I'm not going to make them remove all of the grey goose.  Most people who will only drink grey goose martini's will expect that they may have to pay and I don't want them to not be able to drink the entire night because of that.  It's like I'm providing you with a ton of options, but if it's still not good enough than you can ask.  If no one asks to pay for it than our bartenders will not suggest it but I don't want to tell the bartenders to refuse, I think it would annoy guests more.

Just have the bar tenders say "I'm sorry beer, wine, and the signature drink are all we have available" and if a guest presses for their jack and coke then I would let the bartender offer them how much it cost.  Personally I would prefer that as a guest.

2dBride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_limited-bars-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:405c56d1-6658-4807-b81a-41c18179fcd5Post:bb63e81a-4319-4c50-9f32-4f4be2f67a41">Re: Are limited bars tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]Unfortunately it's at a lodge wtih a bar so I don't think they will remove  the rest of the alcohol. Thanks for saying the limited is okay. I'm breathing a little easier.
Posted by cat1121[/QUOTE]Limited is fine.  However, when you say they won't remove the rest of the alcohol, does that mean that there will be a cash bar for other liquor inside your reception, or just that alcohol will be available for purchase elsewhere in the lodge?  The latter is fine; it's only the former that is problematical.

Pirata13

We did beer & wine, period.  I say do beer, wine and a signature drink, and keep it at that.  Just about everyone will drink one of those things. We had 2 different beers (a light and amber beer), a couple different red wines, and one white wine.  I heard not one person--even second or thirdhand--complain that they couldn't mixed drinks or shots.