a few questions on thank you notes

packlite

1. no thank you notes for people who attended, with no gift - right?

2.  no thank you notes for people who gave a card with no gift - right?

3.  each of my parents paid for a portion of wedding (booze and dress) but have not given us a "gift" yet - no biggie at all, but they both mentioned they are still getting us a registry gift - should i send thank yous for the wedding contributions or wait until they give a gift? or does it matter?

4.  mother of flower girls gave a card but no gift - should i send a thank you, for the girls being in the wedding?  or was there wedding party gift/thank you note ok for that?

banana468

I think it's fine not to send TY notes for 1 &2.

I'd absolutely write a TY note to the parents now.  If they give you something else then write the TY note after you receive the gift.

And you don't need to write a TY note to the FGs if you've already done so.

BUT, if you were married in early October you do need to get the TY notes out asap since you're pushing the envelope (no pun intended) on being timely.

megk8oz

I don't think it's an etiquette rule, but I was [personally] taught everybody who attends should received a Thank You, regardless of if they gave a gift or not, because you're thanking them for taking the time to come celebrate with you. Again, that's just what my mom and grandmother taught me, and they are not Emily Post, just offering my perspective on the matter.

You should thank your parents for the wedding contributions. If another gift comes along at a later date, write a separate note for that.

In the case of the Flower Girls, if you already given them a note for being in the WP, I think you're fine.

packlite

thanks ladies, based on these boards and other things i have read our reception and all that was with it, plus our personal thanks to everyone invididually at the wedding was the thank you for attending.  we are sending these out tomorrow - we had a long honeymoon and live overseas so just getting back home to write them!