Pushy bride is demanding parties

mbody

You don't have to throw any prewedding parties for her if you don't want to- regardless of whether her wedding is in town or destination. And for her to demand you to do so, even more demand you to have them at certain places, that's just beeyyyooonnd rude!

If you and the other members of the original WP choose, you could throw her something in your home or within your price range. And she should be happy with what she gets. She isn't entitled to anything.

As far as the dresses go, I'd be upset too. She should offer to pay everyone back for what they spent on them. Try selling them on the wedding classified board- maybe you can at least get something for it.

StephieDee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:4169b6fe-f5f2-43c3-a758-aec9e25a2c1b">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties : Wow.  So she's eloping then?  She doesn't get any pre-wedding parties for eloping.  I wonder, is she throwing you as lavish of parties as she's expecting to get in return?
Posted by Habs2Hart[/QUOTE]


I seriously doubt the parties will be anywhere near as expensive as the ones she is expecting. It's weird because she's my BM and I'm her MOH. For some reason she felt the need to be in charge of planning my parties and told my MOH to take a hike. I wasn't expecting any parties to begin with but now I'm kind of bummed because I got my hopes up and I'm certain she will end up being spiteful and canceling everything.

StephieDee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:457cede3-b997-4747-9ca0-591270fd0b37">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
[QUOTE]Holy Crap. Do her parents know she is now having this private wedding?  Talk about taking the money and running.  What a brat. (Unless of course they handed her 20K and told her to do what she wants with it).
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]


They are super pissed off. Honestly, I don't even know if anyone would show up to her bridal shower.

Snippylynn

If that happens, I'm sure your other BM's will step in and handle things.

Why are you friends with this chick anyway? She sounds like a tool.

cpm1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:8debc54e-7110-4ee4-996f-cc492a7a41ee">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties : I seriously doubt the parties will be anywhere near as expensive as the ones she is expecting. It's weird because she's my BM and I'm her MOH. For some reason she felt the need to be in charge of planning my parties and told my MOH to take a hike. I wasn't expecting any parties to begin with but now I'm kind of bummed because I got my hopes up and I'm certain she will end up being spiteful and canceling everything.
Posted by StephieDee[/QUOTE]


Wow, your "friend" seems like a piece of work. If she does throw a fit and cancel your shower plans, I'm sure your MOH will come up with something. I can't believe she told your MOH to "take a hike" seriously, she has issues and she clearly isn't a very good friend.

StephieDee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:61422314-adb1-411b-9e56-d1c426bca9a3">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties : She totally pocketed the money.  There's no way she couldn't figure out how to host a local wedding for 200 people with $20K.  As for having "already spent most of it" on the elopment, are they spending two weeks at the Four Seasons with round-the-clock butler service and an on-call personal chef in Hawaii?  Because that's about the only way I could see her elopment costing her $20K.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]


She said that the photographer she hired was $6000 and they rented some crazy penthouse for 2 weeks. My mind was blown.

myname1234

bach parties and bridal showers are NOT required.  She can't demand you pay for one.  Hold your ground here

Snippylynn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:761f7047-02ee-431f-bea3-8aee48824fa1">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties : She said that the photographer she hired was $6000 and they rented some crazy penthouse for 2 weeks. My mind was blown.
Posted by StephieDee[/QUOTE]
$6000 for a photographer that will capture WHAT exactly?  She SUCKS.

StephieDee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:36cea471-a3cf-47fe-a15a-24b81ecb9947">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
[QUOTE]If that happens, I'm sure your other BM's will step in and handle things. Why are you friends with this chick anyway? She sounds like a tool.
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]


She's one of those friends that's hard to get rid of. Our moms were bestfriends and were pregnant together. So I've known her my entire life. It's kind of hard to tell her to fuuck off because she is a good friend but she turned into a crazy lady when she got engaged.

If I had met her when I was an adult....we would have never been friends.

chelseamb11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:8debc54e-7110-4ee4-996f-cc492a7a41ee">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties : I seriously doubt the parties will be anywhere near as expensive as the ones she is expecting. It's weird because she's my BM and <strong>I'm her MOH</strong>. For some reason she felt the need to be in charge of planning my parties and told my MOH to take a hike. I wasn't expecting any parties to begin with but now I'm kind of bummed because I got my hopes up and I'm certain she will end up being spiteful and canceling everything.
Posted by StephieDee[/QUOTE]

You WERE here MOH, you aren't anymore now that she's eliminated the need for a WP by eloping.

She got TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS from her parents, yet can't afford a wedding at home? WTF kind of weddng was she planning? Please tell me there was a golden unicorn involved.

ceh789

A $20k elopement... wow.

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:761f7047-02ee-431f-bea3-8aee48824fa1">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties : She said that the photographer she hired was $6000 and they rented some crazy penthouse for 2 weeks. My mind was blown.
Posted by StephieDee[/QUOTE]

WHAT?!?!?!?   Ok seriously, this biiitch deserves zero parties.  I would give her negative parties if that were possible.  As for the fact that she's supposed to be planning your stuff, just give your MOH and your other BMs the heads-up that she's like about to lose her shiiiiit and cancel everything (if nothing else, to prevent them from "chipping in" and giving her money towards a party that never materializes) and I'm sure they'll come up with a back-up plan.

soontobemrsep

Hahaha, $6000 on a photographer for just her FI and herself?!  She should go to Glamor Shots if she want a bunch of pictures of herself, they have great backdrops.

Nobody is going to want to look at pictures of her wedding when they were invited then uninvited... Again, wow.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

After reading the rest of this thread: your friend is a monstrous hoar.

StephieDee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:a482cd65-a57e-43b9-a464-98a80daac195">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties : WHAT?!?!?!?   Ok seriously, this biiitch deserves zero parties.<strong>  I would give her negative parties if that were possible. </strong> As for the fact that she's supposed to be planning your stuff, just give your MOH and your other BMs the heads-up that she's like about to lose her shiiiiit and cancel everything (if nothing else, to prevent them from "chipping in" and giving her money towards a party that never materializes) and I'm sure they'll come up with a back-up plan.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]


Hahaha..I seriously laughed out loud at that one. Yea, I'll probably tell my MOH what's going on. I just don't want her to feel obligated to "step up" and throw me parties.

Snippylynn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:a482cd65-a57e-43b9-a464-98a80daac195">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties : WHAT?!?!?!?   Ok seriously, this biiitch deserves zero parties.  I would give her negative parties if that were possible.  As for the fact that she's supposed to be planning your stuff, just give your MOH and your other BMs the heads-up that she's like about to lose her shiiiiit and cancel everything (if nothing else, to prevent them from "chipping in" and giving her money towards a party that never materializes) and I'm sure they'll come up with a back-up plan.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]
Oh, good point Steph.

StephieDee

Thanks for the advice everyone.

I think I'll just tell her that I'm not throwing her a bridal shower. No reason for people to buy her gifts if they aren't invited to the wedding. And if she wants a bachelorette party, that's fine, but it's just going to be local bar hopping.

polichik

Honestly... It doesn't sound like you like her that much, which I wouldn't either. This might be a good time to go your separate ways.

OliveOilsMom

I would tell her I'd only throw her a shower, if she paid me back for my $250 dress!  I would ask for my money back from her and if that killed the friendship, oh well! 

I'm almost beyond words!  If I was her parents I would kill her that she took 20k and is spending it on an elopement I'm not even invited to!

toothpastechica

she should spend some of that 20k on her own parties...since shes already thrown common sence and respect to the wind, why not throw yourself a pre-wedding party for a wedding that no one is invited it...at least  you would get what you want that way right??? Seriously 20k is a lot of money... I don't understand how going to hawaii and overspending everything is an answer to having no money to throw a wedding with friends and family....My budget is 10k and we are having 130 people (and so far are underbudget) and I live in the most expensive city in Canada! Honestly, my discussions with this girl at this point would be..."thats great you are going to have your wedding the way you want, just you and your FI, I'm happy for you but I am not going to host a party for an event I am not invited to." if she throws a fit then you say "well you are most welcome to attend my wedding as a bridesmaid *try not to gag* but don't worry about throwing my parties, I understand you said money is tight." Then I would have a talk with your MOH (assuming she had offered to throw your parties as you made it sound originally) and tell her if shes still wanting to you would be very greatful and dont include this other girl in any more planning of anything.

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:4f6022a4-681f-4a23-b186-2c9d2fff899a">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties : Hahaha..I seriously laughed out loud at that one. Yea, I'll probably tell my MOH what's going on. I just don't want her to feel obligated to "step up" and throw me parties.
Posted by StephieDee[/QUOTE]

I don't think you need to warn them in a "hey, I need parties" way - as I said in my prior post, considering the stunt she pulled on <em>her own parents</em> (taking their $20K for her wedding and then buying herself a luxury vacation in Hawaii) I'd be seriously concerned that she'd ask your other girls to "chip in" for your parties and then, once she has their money in her pocket, cancel the parties and never pay them back.  I'd phrase the warning in a "hey, don't give CrazyPants any money for anything, she's kind of a thief" sort of way.

StephieDee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:4edf95dc-fb26-4458-9f71-1db612c23caf">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly... It doesn't sound like you like her that much, which I wouldn't either. This might be a good time to go your separate ways.
Posted by polichik[/QUOTE]


We got along just fine until she was engaged. I'd like to go our separate ways because she is on the dramatic side and it can be exhausting. It's just really difficult because I've known her for so long. It'd be like cutting a sister out of my life.

mbody

Ok so after gathering more info...

She is eloping and not entitled to any pre wedding parties. If you still choose to so something for her, I'd make it small, inexpensive, and intimate- like only her closest family & friends.

She couldn't figure out how to make $20,000 work for a wedding? I know location effects price and everything but it just sounds like it wouldn't get her a "good enough" wedding. And she is greedy for not wanting to host any friends/guests with that money- instead she is using it ALL on herself. She sounds like a real peach.

Edit: why am I always so behind? lol! I can't keep up!

StephieDee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:f299ea8d-f368-4d09-b74b-85660ecfedbf">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties : I don't think you need to warn them in a "hey, I need parties" way - as I said in my prior post, considering the stunt she pulled on her own parents (taking their $20K for her wedding and then buying herself a luxury vacation in Hawaii) I'd be seriously concerned that she'd ask your other girls to "chip in" for your parties and then, once she has their money in her pocket, cancel the parties and never pay them back.  I'd phrase the warning in a "hey, don't give CrazyPants any money for anything, she's kind of a thief" sort of way.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]


Yea, that's a good point. I'll definitely tell them not to give her any money, hopefully they haven't already.

MattsPenguin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:5349a0b6-158c-49f2-aadf-0257f6c6effe">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
[QUOTE]She spent TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS ON AN ELOPEMENT?!?!?!
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

SERIOUSLY!  She spent $20K on a destination elopement in Hawaii.  I don't understand how you can do that.  I mean, is she wearing a diamond bikini out there? WTF?

StephieDee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:520b72af-5d48-4a3b-88f6-9680b75e23c3">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok so after gathering more info... She is eloping and not entitled to any pre wedding parties. If you still choose to so something for her, I'd make it small, inexpensive, and intimate- like only her closest family & friends. She couldn't figure out how to make $20,000 work for a wedding? I know location effects price and everything <strong>but it just sounds like it wouldn't get her a "good enough" wedding.</strong> And she is greedy for not wanting to host any friends/guests with that money- instead she is using it ALL on herself. She sounds like a real peach.
Posted by mbody[/QUOTE]


That's exactly what happened. She picked one of the most expensive venues in our area. Her parents gave her that money but it probably only covered half of the "dream wedding" she was planning.

I told her instead of eloping she should just change venues and plan the wedding she could afford but that wasn't good enough. I wonder what she's going to think of my budget wedding : /

StephieDee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:d5bb4193-98b4-403b-a70f-3a43b87bfa29">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties : SERIOUSLY!  She spent $20K on a destination elopement in Hawaii.  I don't understand how you can do that.  I mean, is she wearing a diamond bikini out there? WTF?
Posted by MattsPenguin[/QUOTE]

A lot of it went to a photographer ($6k) which is ridiculous. Who knows, maybe she's just lying and didn't spend all of it. She just doesn't want to pay us back for the dresses.

Habs2Hart

I have a feeling this girl will come back from her $20k elopement and decide that she wants to have her PPD afterall. 

LaurenHH

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:b5334c80-61db-40e9-888b-8b8c1456f345">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties : That's exactly what happened. She picked one of the <strong>most expensive venues</strong> in our area. Her parents gave her that money but it probably only covered half of the "dream wedding" she was planning. I told her instead of eloping she should just change venues and plan the wedding she could afford but that wasn't good enough. I wonder what she's going to think of my budget wedding : /
Posted by StephieDee[/QUOTE]

What did she do?? Rent the whole Biltmore Estate???

mbody

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:b5334c80-61db-40e9-888b-8b8c1456f345">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties : That's exactly what happened. She picked one of the most expensive venues in our area. Her parents gave her that money but it probably only covered half of the "dream wedding" she was planning. I told her instead of eloping she should just change venues and plan the wedding she could afford but that wasn't good enough. I wonder what she's going to think of my budget wedding : /
Posted by StephieDee[/QUOTE]
Honestly, she sounds terrible. So, basically since she couldn't throw her dream wedding on what money her parents gave her, she decided to take it all and run to Hawaii. She doesn't care about anyone but herself. She thought Hawaii was a better solution than hosting a less lavish affair but still be able to have her friends and family attend and celebrate with her. She obviously doesn't "get it."

And what does this girl do for a living? I hope her FI is mega loaded. Otherwise, I see more problems in her future.