Toasts

adamar15

We got married last month, and BIL is getting married next month.  Before our wedding, BIL and H had agreed to not do toasts at either wedding. MOHs for both weddings had the same deal.  Well, BIL made an awesome toast at our wedding, totally breaking the deal - jerk! (Just kidding, it really was a nice toast)  Well, now H is freaking out about giving one at BIL's wedding.  Do you think he's obligated to give a toast now, since BIL did?  I'm not sure how I feel, and I'd like some outside opinions.

mica178

Toasts are not tit for tat. If your H doesn't want to toast BIL, he shouldn't feel obligated.

emilyinchile

Obligated? No. But if it were me, I'd do it.

adamar15

Emily, that's kind of where I'm leaning.  The sentiment is there, he just REALLY hates public speaking.  Well, everyone but BIL does, hence the toast.

crfische

Here's to Eve, Mother of all races,
She wore all her fig leaves in all the right places.

Here's to Adam, Father of us all,
Johnny on the spot when the fig leaves fall!


YWIA.

adamar15

And fishy saves the day. CRISIS AVERTED.

The Mel and Todd Show

Here's where my head would go with this:
Oh no.  We said no toasts.  WE SAID NO TOASTS!  HE'S TOASTING!  Now I have to toast.  What happened to no toasts?  If I toast now, then he's going to know it's just because he toasted.  Maybe I could say I planned on toasting all along.  Maybe I could say I've been planning a huge surprise toast with magic!  And I've been planning it for months!  I don't know magic.  Maybe I can learn card tricks.  I'm going to do something.  I'm going to do something BIGGER.  I'm going to make the biggest and bestest magic toast in the whole entire history of toasting.  Prepare yourself, BIL.  You summoned the wizard! 

Time for toast comes and goes, and I'm nowhere to be found, as I'm hiding in the bathroom avoiding any possibility that I may have to live up to the momentous lie I've told about a toast (containing magic) which took me several months to prepare. 

So I think it's probably best to just not toast. 

[Deleted User]

If he really hates public speaking then I wouldn't worry about it.  Toasts aren't supposed to be prompted or forced anyway. 

hlq2011

Is he comfortable enough to say, hey, we appreciate the toast you made at our wedding, but I really don't feel comfortable giving a toast at yours?  My MOH told us flat-out she wasn't toasting; FI gives her a hard time about it (teasing) but we both understand.

[Deleted User]

If he doesn't want to give a toast, then he doesn't have to. They aren't required. My sister did one and it was really short, sweet and to the point. Our BM on the other hand, I didn't think was ever going to be done.

missy68

Do they have really good senses of humor? Does their family?

If so, have your H toast a piece of bread and hand it to him......