Jack and Jill???

nyquinn134

So my fiancee is a groomsman for his friend's wedding.  He just got an email from the MOH saying that they're having a Jack and Jill and "for those who don't know, it's a fundraiser for the bride and groom"  She then said that she already put down a payment for the place and wants everyone to chip in $100 to pay her back and for a caterer.  Then they're going to sell tickets to the event and have tickets for raffles.  Also they have to chip in $50 for a raffle prize.  They're hoping to get 100 people there.  The groom is also having a Bachelor Party. 
Maybe it's a regional thing but I thought Jack and Jills were in lieu of a Bridal Shower or Bachelor parties (I don't remember which).  I've been in weddings and never heard of fundraising for a wedding but my fiancee grew up 3hrs away from me and gets invited to Bachelor Parties when he's not even invited to the wedding and everyone who attends and people who get invited are expected to make a donation. 
Is this normal? 

nyquinn134

One more thing - Obvi he's going to do but I thought it was odd

AmoroAgain

Yuck.  Those are freaking trashy.

polichik

Oh no! Don't go! Jack and Jill parties are horribly tacky. I can't believe the MOH had the audacity to demand $150 from people. Just have your FI send an e-mail back saying he won't be able to be a part of it.

sarah0725

Yeesh. That's certainly not normal.

AmoroAgain

You know, it really fuucking pisses me off that people feel they're so goddamn entitled to having other people pay for their wedding!  Most people manage to pull it off on their own!  No need to suck dry your family and friends whilst doing it!  GAH.  Just freaking disgusting.  I also hate how they're treating the bridal party like their own personal piggy bank.  Did they even discuss you doing this in the first place? What if the BP can't pay?!?

charlsie26

not normal, tacky and tell them to have a wedding they can afford on their own. 

alisonz

I thought Jack and Jill was a shower thing when its for both the bride and groom (aka not just "jills")

Either way, the fundraiser thing is totally not okay. blech.

lisarose7

Jack and Jill is supposed to be a co-ed shower.  Fundraisers are for schools and non-profit orgainizations, not weddings.  I hope he doesn't feel like he's obligated to go along with this money-grubbing mayhem....

luckyme502

I think it is not surprising that people want other people to pay for their weddings.  I think it is a natural progression of this society where everyone thinks they are entitled to everything and they are responsible for nothing.  Makes sense in a very sad way. 

MyNameIsNot

I've only heard of these on TK.  They are horribly tacky and tasteless.  I would respond that I find wedding fundraisers to be iinapproriate and that I won't be participating.  

alisonz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jack-jill-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:420d13f5-168c-4280-9902-02d54e758e7fPost:51b9c7a9-b525-4aa8-b29b-5f63d7887615">Jack and Jill???</a>:
[QUOTE]Also they have to chip in $50 for a raffle prize.
Posted by nyquinn134[/QUOTE]

um... and what's the raffle prize? a trip to Hawaii?

edit: albeit a very short trip to Hawaii :)

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Yeah, I'd say, "No, thanks, I won't be able to afford that." And leave it at that. How tacky. (All of it.)

Nebb

Horrible, no no no. I think jack and jills are a tool used by GREEDY people, or people who have no concept of how to create a budget and stick to it. They are entitled and have no sense that this entire concept is tacky as hell.

KentuckyKate

WhatTheShit?  I have never heard of this in my life.  I also thought Jack and Jill meant a bridal shower for the couple instead of just the bride.  And ditto what Amoro said- a WP =/= piggy bank.  There's no way in hell I would do this, and I think you should encourage your fiance to say no as well.  I wouldn't want my name associated with anything as grossly tacky as this.

Nebb

A friend of mine is having a jack and jill soon, and was soliciting donations for raffle prizes last week on FB because they couldnt afford all of them. I just shake my head at it.

ggmae

My definition of a Jack and Jill is a shower where both men and women are invited, yes? I don't think it's a bad thing and not all people who have Jack and Jills have wrong intentions - I considered having one because I have a lot of men in my family and have a bunch of close guy friends. I left it up to my MOHs to make the final call and they decided to make it all women due to budget restriction. I had no problem with it, but I would have loved to have both men and women there if possible.

OP - What you described is ridiculous though and so unacceptable. Yuck! It is not normal in my area. Is this Jack and Jill shower in CT?

squirrly

I've never heard of these except on here, and I don't care for them.  I wouldn't, as a BP member, be ok with hosting/sponsoring/being part of one, so if it were me, I'd feel compelled to contact the bride and let her know I just wasn't comfortable with that.

lisarose7

Between Jack & Jill fundraisers, people throwing fits that their parents won't pay for stuff, and Dollar Dances, TK is full of tasteless behavior lately.

banana468

The only Jack and Jills I've heard of that are the "pay as you go" type aren't held in my area or social circle.  DH's friends had one in the NE area of CT.  Perhaps it's no coincidence that you'll find cash bars in the same area.

I'm not a huge fan of them at all but at the same time, if they're for good friends of ours, we won't "not" go.

That said, I can't blame you for disliking them at all.   This falls a bit into the "They haven't been told yet that it's awful," camp most likely. 

kbmeow

I do like the idea of a "jack & Jill shower. as a shower for both than bride and groom.  But a raffle? donations?  No that is not a shower .  It is  very money grubbing.

btrflykate1230

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jack-jill-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:420d13f5-168c-4280-9902-02d54e758e7fPost:0b5fb1a7-cf40-455d-bc16-6bbd88568e57">Re: Jack and Jill???</a>:
[QUOTE]Between Jack & Jill fundraisers, people throwing fits that their parents won't pay for stuff, and Dollar Dances, TK is full of tasteless behavior lately.
Posted by lisarose7[/QUOTE]

<div>Exactly this! WTH?</div>

nyquinn134

OMG they're from the NE of CT!!!!  it has to be an area thing. 

Lyss5782

I also thought J&J meant co-ed bridal shower.  Are they all about guests donating cash?  And if so, do I still have time to schedule one before my July wedding?