Anyone on the board a Jehovah's Witness?

Mrs.B6302007

I have a question for you. (non-confrontational)

FutureMrsTR

No, but my ex-BF's family was.  He wasn't practicing, but his grandparents were really involved in their local Kingdom Hall.

karbar42

I grew up JW and didn't leave it until I was about 19/20, ask away (mom/gram/aunt and a few friends are still JWs).

mandapanda78

Huh. I'm kind of disappointed. I was really intrigued at the potential in this thread. 

Mrs.B6302007

typing one handed again

we received a baby gift (cash) from someobe who is a witness and it just got me thinking about showers and baby gifts.  aren't they essentially celebrating a birthday by giving a welcome baby gift?

kate51485

You can't celebrate your birthday if you are one?  That would be so sad, I love birthdays

karbar42

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_anyone-board-jehovahs-witness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:42dd154d-a34e-45e3-a380-598f7c209743Post:4a40db8b-f2d8-4eee-a944-1c019a29b8b3">Re: Anyone on the board a Jehovah's Witness?</a>:
[QUOTE]typing one handed again we received a baby gift (cash) from someobe who is a witness and it just got me thinking about showers and baby gifts.  aren't they essentially celebrating a birthday by giving a welcome baby gift?
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

Not celebrating birthdays (with party/cake/presents, etc) comes from 3 mentions of birthday celebrations in the bible that have bad endings (pharoah executing his baker, herod beheaded john the baptist, and the killing of job's kids during his oldest son's party).  So while they don't believe in celebrations every year on the day of your birth, I don't think that's to say they don't believe a birth is still a joyous occasion when it happens, hence the gift they sent you.

My mom will call to tell me she loves me on my birthday.  I think it's just a matter of not making a big production out of every years birthday.

Hope that helps.

[Deleted User]

I have a friend who's brother married a JW and she won't give their son a birthday party (they are now divorced) but she will allow him to give the son a party.  She still gives him a present but that's it. 

Mrs.B6302007

i wondered where the no birthday thing came from - makes sense - very helpful thx

i kinda figured that there was some leeway with birth itself and showers and that she focused on the new baby rather than the "birth"day aspect of being born

skippylouwho

 Our former neighbors were JW. They didn't celebrate birthdays but a day or a few days before the actual birthday they would have a big party and the "birthday" child (or non-birthday child?) would get presents from everyone there. Same thing at Christmas. About 3 days before Christmas everyone would exchange gifts but it wasn't for Christmas, it was "just 'cause we felt like it"..

karbar42

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_anyone-board-jehovahs-witness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:42dd154d-a34e-45e3-a380-598f7c209743Post:a5c04f32-e994-46bc-b69e-1c466b4c72cc">Re: Anyone on the board a Jehovah's Witness?</a>:
[QUOTE] Our former neighbors were JW. They didn't celebrate birthdays but a day or a few days before the actual birthday they would have a big party and the "birthday" child (or non-birthday child?) would get presents from everyone there. Same thing at Christmas. About 3 days before Christmas everyone would exchange gifts but it wasn't for Christmas, it was "just 'cause we felt like it"..
Posted by skippylouwho[/QUOTE]

This isn't the norm, but I think things like this happen in families that are split.  For example, my mom is a JW and my dad is not.  So instead of doing christmas, my parents did family day on Dec 18 (their anniversary).  Had both parents been JW, I don't think they would have done this.

zitiqueen

I worked with a woman who is a former Witness and she said that since she left the church, other Witnesses are forbidden from even speaking to her. Why would that be?

karbar42

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_anyone-board-jehovahs-witness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:42dd154d-a34e-45e3-a380-598f7c209743Post:d83d6062-15be-4cb4-b6c8-ff75338dda00">Re: Anyone on the board a Jehovah's Witness?</a>:
[QUOTE]I worked with a woman who is a former Witness and she said that since she left the church, other Witnesses are forbidden from even speaking to her. Why would that be?
Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]

This would be true if she was baptized and then was either disfellowshiped or disassociated herself.  JW's take the dedication (baptism) pretty seriously, so if you do something (i.e. sex before marriage) you can be disfellowshiped.  At that point, fellow witnesses are not supposed to talk to you, unless you come back into the faith (usually some period of "reproving yourself").  If you were baptized, and disassociate yourself, the same is true.  I suppose it's kind of like, once you dedicate yourself (they don't baptize babies, it's a choice), it's supposed to be taken seriously by all and there are consequences to breaking the "rules".

However, since I was not baptized, even though I am no longer part of the religion, I can still talk to witnesses, etc.  (A small number are invited to my wedding).

Another example would be my uncle, who left the religion divorced his wife and was disfellowshiped.  Many JW's will not actively associate with him. However, my grandmother and my mother have decided that since he is their son/brother they will still talk to him, it is what they feel comfortable with being his family.  On the other hand my aunt (his sister) feels very strongly about it and does not talk to/associate with him.  She says she will however say hello to him at the wedding. 

aragx6

Can I ask the reason for the ban on blood transfusions?

karbar42

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_anyone-board-jehovahs-witness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:42dd154d-a34e-45e3-a380-598f7c209743Post:d09579eb-3f56-4913-844a-103b239db03d">Re: Anyone on the board a Jehovah's Witness?</a>:
[QUOTE]Can I ask the reason for the ban on blood transfusions?
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

There is a passage in Acts that mentions abstaining from blood.  They take this scripture to mean they should not take in any blood eat/drink/transfusions.

lisarose7

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_anyone-board-jehovahs-witness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:42dd154d-a34e-45e3-a380-598f7c209743Post:290cda2a-8c3b-48fe-8e92-869395329a4f">Re: Anyone on the board a Jehovah's Witness?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone on the board a Jehovah's Witness? : There is a passage in Acts that mentions abstaining from blood.  They take this scripture to mean they should not take in any blood eat/drink/transfusions.
Posted by karbar42[/QUOTE]

FI and I got into a fight over that one, actually.  He was raised JW but was never baptised.  However, he still holds some of their beliefs, and that's one of them.  I told him if I or our future children ever need one, we're getting one.  He agreed to allow us to have them but made me promise not to let him get one in the event that he needs one, and I agreed.

karbar42

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_anyone-board-jehovahs-witness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:42dd154d-a34e-45e3-a380-598f7c209743Post:69411ba1-35b2-497c-b00e-35f66efd3afd">Re: Anyone on the board a Jehovah's Witness?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone on the board a Jehovah's Witness? : FI and I got into a fight over that one, actually.  He was raised JW but was never baptised.  However, he still holds some of their beliefs, and that's one of them.  I told him if I or our future children ever need one, we're getting one.  He agreed to allow us to have them but made me promise not to let him get one in the event that he needs one, and I agreed.
Posted by lisarose7[/QUOTE]

<div>I can see that, I think about that one too (though I've had major surgery and I made my dad my proxy because I know my mom wouldn't be able to say yes to blood because of her beliefs), but if it came down to it I think I'd do it.</div><div>
</div><div>It's really difficult when you grow up JW and then leave to easily move into holidays and other things that were ingrained in your brain for years.  I still to this day can't get into Easter :)  </div>

lisarose7

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_anyone-board-jehovahs-witness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:42dd154d-a34e-45e3-a380-598f7c209743Post:8393e8eb-c746-47e6-a403-363b44d68472">Re: Anyone on the board a Jehovah's Witness?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone on the board a Jehovah's Witness? : I can see that, I think about that one too (though I've had major surgery and I made my dad my proxy because I know my mom wouldn't be able to say yes to blood because of her beliefs), but if it came down to it I think I'd do it. It's really difficult when you grow up JW and then leave to easily move into holidays and other things that were ingrained in your brain for years.  I still to this day can't get into Easter :)  
Posted by karbar42[/QUOTE]

I cut FI tons of slack when it comes to holidays and birthdays because of that...he's usually pretty good, though. :) 

Here's my funny story about a holiday with FI, though: The first Xmas we were together (about 5 months after we started dating) he insisted on getting a tree for my apartment because he never had one.  I never usually bought trees for myself (as I always spent the actual day at my parents' with their tree), but he got so excited about the idea that we took my little Ford Escort to a local tree lot and managed to fit a 6' tree and boxes of decorations into it just so FI could have a tree.  When we got home we had to wrestle it out of my little compact car and into my apartment.  Then we started decorating and I broke out in a rash...that's how we discovered I have an allergy to fir trees.  By the time I finished washing the sap off myself and liberally applying Benadryl cream, my cat had discovered the tree and decided to climb it and start knocking all the decorations off.  FI decided he'd had his fill of Xmas trees and suggested we not get one again till we have kids.

karbar42

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_anyone-board-jehovahs-witness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:42dd154d-a34e-45e3-a380-598f7c209743Post:b0b4c805-2a96-4074-a2dd-ccfa92d41408">Re: Anyone on the board a Jehovah's Witness?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone on the board a Jehovah's Witness? : I cut FI tons of slack when it comes to holidays and birthdays because of that...he's usually pretty good, though. :)  Here's my funny story about a holiday with FI, though: The first Xmas we were together (about 5 months after we started dating) he insisted on getting a tree for my apartment because he never had one.  I never usually bought trees for myself (as I always spent the actual day at my parents' with their tree), but he got so excited about the idea that we took my little Ford Escort to a local tree lot and managed to fit a 6' tree and boxes of decorations into it just so FI could have a tree.  When we got home we had to wrestle it out of my little compact car and into my apartment.  Then we started decorating and I broke out in a rash...that's how we discovered I have an allergy to fir trees.  By the time I finished washing the sap off myself and liberally applying Benadryl cream, my cat had discovered the tree and decided to climb it and start knocking all the decorations off.  FI decided he'd had his fill of Xmas trees and suggested we not get one again till we have kids.
Posted by lisarose7[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Awww that's too funny (sucks you were allergic though).  My first ever halloween I decided to be a kissing booth, I didn't cut holes in the box, and almost passed out, bf at the time made me take of the costume so I didn't keel over. Honestly, a lot of the holiday stuff I do (tree & decorations and such this year) are for FI because he loves them so much.  I hope that when we have kids, I'll get to see the holidays through their excitement.</div><div>

</div>

saschaduran

My H was raised JW and he was baptized at 19 then disfellowshipped a year or two later for having sex with his girlfriend.  The baptized members of his family were not supposed to speak to him, and his relationship was severely limited with his parents for that reason.  Which I cannot comprehend since one of his sisters has 3 kids with 3 dads and not married, but I guess it is ok if you were never baptized.  Lame and annoying for me to even think about.

But to answer your question B....they do celebrate anniversaries and weddings and showers.  They do not celebrate any holidays because all holidays have pagan origins if you research them.  They do not celebrate things like the 4th of July due to the political association.  (I think)  His parents got married on xmas eve and they celebrate their "anniversary" every year.  And every one gets together and gives the kids presents.  Which I find essentially to be celebrating Christmas, and slightly annoying as well.

I find JW to be wonderful people with big hearts, but I have zero interest in the religion.  I do not care for it at all, along with pretty much every religion, so I guess I am consistent at least.