people asking to bring people..

maccor16

So I have been collecting addresses to send STD's this week.  Tonight I get a text from my FI aunt asking if she can bring two guests to the wedding..  I was a little shocked A of all people I didn't think that she would ask that... I know that there are other family members that think they are going to add people onto their invites that's why when I send out the invites I am being specific as to who it is for. (They did this at my FI brother's wedding) And B is that rude of her to ask to bring two guests?  I feel like it's rude but I wanted to make sure I'm not crazy here.  I politely responded by saying that each guest is allowed to bring one guest.  I also told her that our venue has a very small maximum number of guests.  I'm just so suprised that I am dealing with guest list questions like this already.

graysquirrel

I think that you did just fine. It is very rude of people to start making their own guest lists for your wedding and is very diplomatic to say that you cannot accomodate more guests due to space limitations.  If you are allowing plus ones, then it was good to let her know that she can bring one date. Make sure that you put that info very explicitly on your invitations-- Aunt Gerty and Guest's Name-- then she knows just who is invited.

em01092

Is one of these guests her SO? If she is in a relationship, her SO should be invited anyway. This goes for all of your guests. 

But yes, it was rude of her to ask you like that, and no, I don't think it was wrong of you to respond as you did. Now that you said that though, you do have to let her bring one guest. 

If she is single, maybe she just has someone in mind she'd like to ask. That person may decline and she may not even be interested in said person by the time your actual invites go out. I would just address the STD to her (unless she is in fact in a relationship) and wait to see what happens. 

maccor16

okay good... thanks.  Yes I am being extremely specific when it comes to the invites down the road.  My FI Brother invited family friends invite to the couple and they showed up with their 25 yr old daugher her bf and their other daughter's 5 yr old... From these two example it seems like some people just don't care. But since I do have a 100 guest max on my venue I cannot leave room for any extra added guests that people feel like they want to add.  I hope I don't have to deal with a lot of this.

maccor16

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_people-asking-bring-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:438f2cf4-8570-4777-b06a-75dd2b85050fPost:bc8bd28f-2690-46a7-b623-cf86ff302b1f">Re: people asking to bring people..</a>:
[QUOTE]Is one of these guests her SO? If she is in a relationship, her SO should be invited anyway. This goes for all of your guests.  But yes, it was rude of her to ask you like that, and no, I don't think it was wrong of you to respond as you did. Now that you said that though, you do have to let her bring one guest.  If she is single, maybe she just has someone in mind she'd like to ask. That person may decline and she may not even be interested in said person by the time your actual invites go out. I would just address the STD to her (unless she is in fact in a relationship) and wait to see what happens. 
Posted by em01092[/QUOTE]


No she is not in a relationship.  Everyone will be allowed to bring a plus one.  I just found it weird to ask to bring two guests.  Yes I plan on sending the STD to just her.  We'll see what happens when it gets closer with invites.  She didn't say anything back to my text hopefully she isn't mad.

jessicabessica

If she's your FI's aunt and she keeps asking about it after you send the save the date, have your FI talk to her.

rebarobert2012

I think that you handled the situation very graciously.  There is no reason for her to bring 2 guests, and it was rude of her to ask.

bpqueen

You are handling the situation perfectly.  Try your best to stick with your set size limitations.  However, just be ready in case unexpected family members show up anyway.  My first wedding had invitations only for aunts and uncles, and I wound up with a plethora of uninvited cousins (who were not young enough to be included in the invites) because they wanted a Florida vacation...That is the main reason that I am going for a wedding out of state this time!  Good luck!!