Name's on Invitations

mstrzalkowski

My parents are divorced and my mother is not helping pay for the wedding. But, she still expects her name to be on the invites. Should her name be on there anyway, or can I go without putting her name on them?

chigirl2010

I'm just going the "together with their families" route. My mom's divorced but has a long-time partner, my dad's deceased and my fiance's parents are divorced with the dad remarried...too complicated of a situation!

Plus his family is contributing a lot while my mom just can't do it - she's donating her time though for DIY projects, which is helpful too!

mags0607

I would personally put her name on there, but if you don't want to name her individually, go the "together with their families" route.

Its not worth the hurt feelings to exclude her, whether she is contributing financially or not.

september's bride

I don't really buy into the idea that parents only get recognized on the invite if they're contributing financially. Your mother contributed a bride to this wedding ceremony, so I think you can put her name on the invite if it means a lot to her.

loop0406

I agree with the above reply (september's)....this isn't all about money and who contributed, you are the daughter of 2 people and they should be recognized if you want to

angiebear11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_names-invitations-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:44b5018d-3670-47bd-b354-fb96b9ebd9bbPost:f5d6e57b-d795-4cbc-8ff3-744e3c359ebb">Re: Name's on Invitations</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with the above reply (september's)....this isn't all about money and who contributed, you are the daughter of 2 people and they should be recognized if you want to
Posted by loop0406[/QUOTE]


I have to disagree. I believe your parents go on the invite if they are hosting. If not, I don't see the point in putting their names on it.  I don't understand why people get so upset if their names aren't on an invite.  Are you hosting? No. Do you want to host? No. So STFU.

myother1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_names-invitations-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:44b5018d-3670-47bd-b354-fb96b9ebd9bbPost:be87d593-d0f6-4248-bf80-10bd7e1c589c">Re: Name's on Invitations</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Name's on Invitations : I have to disagree. I believe your parents go on the invite if they are hosting. If not, I don't see the point in putting their names on it.  I don't understand why people get so upset if their names aren't on an invite.  Are you hosting? No. Do you want to host? No. So STFU.
Posted by angiebear11[/QUOTE]

Totally agree.  If they aren't paying, it's ultimately up to you.  "Together with their families" seems to cover everything pretty well.

Oh, and <a href="http://theoatmeal.com/comics/apostrophe">http://theoatmeal.com/comics/apostrophe</a>

september's bride

I just don't believe that there are hard and fast rules about including your parents' names on the invite. If they want to be included (for whatever reason) it's a small concession to make to have your parents be happy. If my mother wanted to be on the invite, I wouldn't have told her "NO! You're not hosting! No recognition for you!" because that's just petty.

As it stands, no parent names were included on our invites because they had no preference, and we had a divorce/remarriage situation as well. "Together with their families" was used instead.

AdeleDazeem

Names.  NAMES.  No apostrophe.

stacy&tige

Could you put it like this:

You are cordially invited to the wedding of
(Bride's Name)
daughter of (brides parents names)
and
(Groom's name)
son of (groom's parents)

That way they are all included. Its pretty petty to not want her name on the invite just because she isn't paying. She's your mother...its not a huge deal. My fiance's parents aren't helping us a bit and we still include their names.

mstrzalkowski

Let me clarify, I don't have a relationship with my mother, hence the confusion on my part, but I think I'm just going to go with the "together with their families". Thank you so much for all the help!

carrieoz_76

IIn most wedding-related decisions, I've found that if it will make a family member or guest happy for us to do something that, really, we don't care about one way or the other, then it's easier to just do it.  Why not make them happy if it's no skin off my nose?

Plus, you'll  probably have true disagreements later that are more worth your time and energy than this one. 

Knittibell

Technically, etiquette speaking, it's the name of the people hosting the event that go onto the wedding invites... since you don't really have a relationship with her, I think having her listed as "Mother of the Bride"- mother's name
in the program is just FINE.

futurenmiller

I say do what makes you feel the most comfortable, it is your wedding.  I have a similar situation with my father.  I do not want him recognized as a host!  He has not contributed to one damn thing in my life.  It just wouldn't seem right to me.  My parents are divorced and my mom is doing a good portion of our wedding and myself and fiance are doing the rest.  That is why my mother is walking my down the aisle aslo, it just wouldn't be right for my dad to do it solo while my mom sits and watches, I have a difficult and sometimes nonexistant relationship with my father....

Kristin789

HOSTING is not the same as PAYING.
So you could list biomom and biodad at the top as the HOSTS if she is going to participate as a HOST of the event.

However, it sounds like she is NOT going to be a host of the event.

So you could include her name in the wedding program, as previously suggested, or you could list her name on the wedding invitation at the BOTTOM - this is a relatively new idea and not everyone thinks it's a good idea, but it might work for your situation.

To do that, you'd start the invitation like this:

Together with their parents..............

And at the very bottom, under RECEPTION TO FOLLOW, you put:

Bride's Parents:                               Groom's Parents:
Mrs. Jan Doe and Mr. Jon Doe        Mr. and Mrs. Tim Cue