Bachlorette Party Guestlist

tammym1001

I live in Ohio, but I'm getting married on the beach in South Carolina. My fiance and I are paying for all of the guests to attend so we limited it to immediate family and one friend each. Everyone has been really understanding about us having a small destination wedding and honestly after 9 years together they just seem to be happy we're finally getting married.  So here's my question: I know you aren't supposed to invite anyone to pre-wedding parties that isn't invited to the wedding, but some of my other friends who aren't attending have indicated that they would like to either throw me a bachlorette party or be invited to it. Is it ok to invite 3 or 4 of my closest friends even though they won't be going to the wedding?

Jager1219

Sorry - did I miss something?  I've never been to/heard of a bachlorette that wasn't "everybody chips in".  So if the agenda is dinner and drinks, then everyone would split the dinner bill and drinks out would be everyone on their own.

SJM7538

I believe ettiquette says that you can't invite them to your bachelorette if they aren't invited to the wedding.

However - if I was your friend I woulnd't take any offense to just going to the bachelorette party and not the wedding knowing that you have a limited guest list. But you know your friends. I say your answer depends if they would be offended/upset or not.

Jager1219

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachlorette-party-guestlist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:44cb5403-c3ef-40f2-b31b-bbe902046ea9Post:13ae8d9a-6e5f-4501-ac97-297a5aaa3341">Re: Bachlorette Party Guestlist</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bachlorette Party Guestlist : At every bach party I've been to the bride was treated to everything. Typically a few people volunteer to buy her dinner and then people take turns buying her drinks or a round for everyone depending on the crowd. OP, do a girl's night out where everyone pays their own way.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]
Got it - we're on the same page.  I was thinking that someone meant that whoever hosted paid for EVERYONE.  Yes, usually the ones I've been to the bride doesn't pay for anything (unless it's a destination and then it's another story).

tammym1001

We were actually going to do mani's at the spa and dinner because my niece's will be going and they aren't 21. Nothing big and it was just going to be a fun day. I know that my MOH/Sister still wants to buy me the cute little tiara and buttons and all that fun stuff so I don't think she would be ok with it just being a girls night out. Maybe I'll just have a separate girls night out with my other friends.

kfahrenthold

If they want to throw you the party, why does it matter?

If they were offended about not being invited, they wouldn't offer to have it at all. Who cares about what names mean who is invited rules.

arco13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachlorette-party-guestlist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:44cb5403-c3ef-40f2-b31b-bbe902046ea9Post:e22f891a-7029-4f97-a040-663a36091e5d">Re: Bachlorette Party Guestlist</a>:
[QUOTE]I believe ettiquette says that you can't invite them to your bachelorette if they aren't invited to the wedding. However - if I was your friend I woulnd't take any offense to just going to the bachelorette party and not the wedding knowing that you have a limited guest list. But you know your friends. I say your answer depends if they would be offended/upset or not.
Posted by SJM7538[/QUOTE]
 

I agree with this. Since this is the ettiquette board, no having a bach party with people who are not invited to the wedding would not be in proper ettiquette. But like PP said, you know your friends. I would just suggest you keep it small, and to the people who have previously indicated (of their own accord) that they want to throw you one.

jennyd412

If they want to do it and call it a bachelorette, who cares? They clearly want to do it to celebrate you. I have a friend at work who didn't invite any co-workers because of budget constraints, but all the females at work arranged our schedules to take her out for a bachelorette party. Some of our male co-workers wanted to join, so we started calling it a "no boys allowed party"Long story to point out that sometimes people who aren't invited to your wedding, still want to celebrate with you. I think if you aren't planning the party, then its not rude. Have fun