No Thank You Note? XP with my Club Board

Backpackers

I just posted this on my club board but then realized you ladies would give good advice, too.

A friend of mine got married on August 1st but I couldn't be there because I stood up in a different wedding on the same day. In the weeks leading up to the wedding I got message after message (phone and facebook) from my friend asking where my gift was. This annoyed me, but I ignored it and shrugged it off as him being excited. So, I sent them their gift (a gift certificate for the Best Restaurant in Milwaukee, as rated by Tripadvisor) in the mail. I was really excited about the gift because I know they both enjoy food and it was a big purchase for me, financially. But I was happy to do it because I was so happy for them. Well...

I never got a thank you note! Not even a phone call, or message on Facebook! Nothing was ever said about it. I want to know if they got it or not. Should I ask about it, or is that in really poor taste? It's hard to forget about because it was such a big purchase for me. Help!

therickson

Who asks for a gift? I say sure - she had no etiquette so why should you?

georgia_bride09

A) Your friend is beyond rude to call repeatedly about your gift.

I wouldn't expect a TY, since clearly your friend has no tact.

danieliza1127

After this long, yeah I would go ahead and ask if they received it.  Just say that you wanted to be sure it hadn't been lost in the mail.  I had to do that once and it turned out it actually HAD been lost in the mail and returned to the store, and the store never let me know. 

kate51485

Your friend called you and ASKED where their wedding present was multiple times before the wedding even happened?

That is a new level of rude. 

laurenclaire1386

Ditto PPs. If your friend saw no problem with repeatedly asking you where your gift to him was, then I would have no problem asking if they actually got it since the douchenozzle didn't send a TY.

ac_in_dc

Wow. This is beyond tacky.

But either way, I'd ask if she got the gift. DH's godparents gave us a wedding gift months before the wedding which we acknowledged with a TY, but also gave us an album at the wedding which we never received. I just realized this over the holidays when she asked about it. Ack!! So it's good to check with the bride and groom.

MeaghanandMichael

At this point in my life, I am all set with never speaking to some one again who acts like that. I vote no.

Backpackers

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-xp-club-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:460f6dcd-956f-40ef-9365-6db915f67990Post:3c66c193-8fa1-4b85-8c1a-0934c0efef5e">Re: No Thank You Note? XP with my Club Board</a>:
[QUOTE]Ditto PPs. If your friend saw no problem with repeatedly asking you where your gift to him was, then I would have no problem asking if they actually got it since the douchenozzle didn't send a TY.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

I love this! I think I might actually refer to him as "douchenozzle" from now on, if you don't mind. I just wish I would have seen it sooner for when he was asking me where his gift was. A$$hol3 just doesn't really cut it.

sarah0725

I'm with Meaghan. I was just gonna say that you shouldn't be friends with this person anymore, but then she beat me to it.

kate51485

It would be very hard to ignore the petty part of me that would really want to say, "Since you were so adamant about receiving your gift, I hope you enjoyed it.  If not, serves you right for being an ass."

Backpackers

Yeah, I'm kind of thinking that I want to at least find out if they got it, and then not having anything more to do with them if they did get it. It really is so rude and I don't want to put up with this when I will feel obligated to get baby gifts, etc. in the future.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-xp-club-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:460f6dcd-956f-40ef-9365-6db915f67990Post:3c66c193-8fa1-4b85-8c1a-0934c0efef5e">Re: No Thank You Note? XP with my Club Board</a>:
[QUOTE]Ditto PPs. If your friend saw no problem with repeatedly asking you where your gift to him was, then I would have no problem asking if they actually got it since the douchenozzle didn't send a TY.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

Seriously. And instead of saying, "Oh, I'm just checking in to make sure you got my gift." I might say, "Hey, I sent your present 5 months ago. Did ya get it? Cause I never got a thank you note, so I wasn't sure."

I know someone who sent out the last of his TY cards in December from his June wedding. But still...

kate51485

I would also send them the link to this thread.

Backpackers

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-xp-club-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:460f6dcd-956f-40ef-9365-6db915f67990Post:09e0c44e-cd43-483a-a5c1-db45c25228bc">Re: No Thank You Note? XP with my Club Board</a>:
[QUOTE]I would also send them the link to this thread.
Posted by kate51485[/QUOTE]

LOL that's a great idea. I think embarrassment is the only thing that really works with this guy.

MyNameIsNot

He is beyond rude.  Wow!

Anyway, it isn't rude to call and ask if they got it if you haven't gotten a TY note after 3 months.  One of the reasons you are supposed to send TYs is to let the sender know you got the gift. 

Pirata13

I would have sent her an etiquette book for a gift.

But yes, I'd call and ask if she received it. And then never speak to her again.