Wedding Etiquette Forum

Who do I have to give gifts to?

I have already taken care of gifts for my bridesmaids, his groomsmen, and our parents. Who else should we be giving gifts to for OUR wedding? What is proper, what can we get away with not doing? I have a friend who is getting married next month and she is giving gifts to her grandparents, readers, etc. I wasn't aware that I should feel responsible for anyone outside of the wedding party and our parents.

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Re: Who do I have to give gifts to?

  • Anyone who is participating in the ceremony that is not being paid for their time should receive a gift of some sort.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_give-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:46ba7fcd-c787-4d3e-90e3-e0ab3fa5144cPost:2c675f74-5a9e-4872-afc5-f4839cf062ca">Who do I have to give gifts to?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have already taken care of gifts for my bridesmaids, his groomsmen, and our parents. <strong>Who else should we be giving gifts to for OUR wedding?</strong> <strong>What is proper, what can we get away with not doing?</strong> I have a friend who is getting married next month and she is giving gifts to her grandparents, readers, etc. I wasn't aware that I should feel responsible for anyone outside of the wedding party and our parents.
    Posted by alisonmills22[/QUOTE]


    Numero Uno: you sound snotty in the bolded area.

    Number dos: you give gifts to whoever you feel you should acknowledge on your wedding day and, if you choose, to others who helped in the ceremony, reception, etc. I got small tokens of appreciation (wine corks with decorated tops mainly) for people who helped (a friend who directed the wedding, etc).
  • It's customary to give gifts to your parents and to the members of your wedding party, including readers.  Of course, it's also customary to be gracious about it.  Personally, I think that if you can't give gifts without whining about it or harboring some kind of resentment to the recipients of your "generosity," you shouldn't bother.  I'd know I'd be offended to receive a gift from someone who "felt responsible" to "take care of" me, since she couldn't "get away with" not giving me a gift at HER wedding.

     *shrug*   
    image
  • edited December 2010
    I don't think gifts to grandparents are necessary.  We are giving small gifts (Christmas ornaments) to ceremony participants like readers and gift bearers.  Depending on your relationship with your officiant you might also give him/her a gift.  Our priest is a close friend of FI's grandparents, so he won't let us pay him.  But we are putting him up in a hotel room and giving him a nice bottle of wine.

    I've been a reader in a wedding and didn't get any kind of gift.  At the time, I wasn't particularly offended by it, but in retrospect after being on TK I think it would have been nice if the couple gave me a small token of appreciation.
  • We gave gifts to:
    parents, BMs, GMs, RB, FG, host couple and readers

    Not grandparents...but we are giving them photobooks with wedding pics for Christmas (typically I don't get them a gift)
  • You should give gifts basically to anyone who helped out that you're not paying.  The WP is obvious, but I also sent thank you gifts after the fact to some family members that helped with decorating or setting things up.  And don't give gifts because you feel like you have to - give a gift because you're truly thankful for their contribution to the day.
  • We gave gifts to each and everyone that was involved or participated in the wedding in any way. We gave gifts to our BM's, GM, 2 FG's, RB, 2 readers, 2 gift bearers, 2 Grandma's.
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