Are corsages necessary?

luv2talkdb

I am the mother of the bride and do not want�to�wear a corsage or carry any flowers so.......would it be wrong to have flowers only for those in the wedding party?

crfische

I hate corsages. All corsages. I did not subject any men or relatives to wear one. They get in the way, wreck your clothes, and it's rare to see one that actually looks nice.

And at weddings, there is hugging going on which decreases the possibility that said corsage will even look presentable for an hour, let alone the whole day. It's just a waste of money in my world.

luv2talkdb

I'm glad someone thinks the way I do about corsages.
Question is do you think the other mothers, grandmothers, etc. will be offended if they don't get a corsage?

crfische

Well, you know them better than I. My family was thankful.

Are they super traditional? Do you think they'd be offended?

FutureMrsTR

I hope not, 'cause we're not doing them!

kate51485

I've been wondering how necessary this is, too.  My mom does not wear jewelry or like to have anything flouncing around on her so I doubt she really wants to wear a corsage on her wrist.  Fischy did the men do pocket squares or something other than a boutonniere in your wedding?

crfische

Nope! Nothing. I do like pocket squares better than corsages, but it still seems an unnecessary expense. I think pocket squares were 8 dollars a piece. I just don't know why anything extra on a handsome tux is necessary.

SpookieCat

I barely touched this subject with my FMIL the other day and she came out with the following:

"OOOH!  I'd love to have a pretty phaleonopsis orchid for the wedding!  I'll let you know whether to get a green one or just a plain white once I buy my dress!"

erm... my flower budget consists of telling my stepmom what seeds to grow in the spring.  We're talking about mums and dahlias here.  I'm pretty certain phaleonopsis orchids don't grow in Canada.  FMIL also suggested the most expensive flower shop in my entire city to go to. 

I also happened to think corsages we'rent necessary but apparently I'm screwed.

kate51485

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_corsages-necessary?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:47ec37db-05db-47cd-9222-0ea3538b3105Post:f9b7fb03-11f3-4abe-b367-c13969dadcd5">Re: Are corsages necessary?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just don't know why anything extra on a handsome tux is necessary.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

Very true!  We haven't really arrived at flowers in planning yet so I'm actually not sure what FI thinks...but something tells me he'd much rather not have some blossom on his coat :)

crfische

Ha! Right? I don't know. Some people really like them. I just have yet to see a corsage where I'm all "OH MY GOD THAT SO COMPLETES THE LOOOOOKKKK!!!!"

Really I have yet to see one that i'm even impressed by or kinda like.

We just had bridesmaid flowers and my flowers and that was it.

danieliza1127

I know my Mom, MIL, and my H's grandma would have been disappointed if we didn't give them flowers.  It's just traditional and I know they looked forward to it, especially my MIL and H's grandma.  So you really just need to know the other women and whether they would want it or not.  If they do want it, maybe you could compromise by just carrying a tiny bouquet down the aisle that way you can set it down and not have to worry about it or wear flowers the rest of the night. 

kate51485

I'd like to keep the flower budget down so that's all I really intended to do too, my bouquet and bridesmaids, which would be probably 5 girls.  I don't plan to do centerpieces really, my reception site puts hurricane lamps on mirrors on the tables anyway which is fine with me.  At the very least maybe I'd scatter a few loose rose petals around them, I have no idea. 

crfische

I have never seen an MOB carry a bouquet down the aisle. That seems really weird to me.

danieliza1127

I've seen it before, it's small though, just like 2 flowers.  I think maybe it's a new thing.

crfische

Well, I'll be darned. You learn something new everyday.

danieliza1127

I came across it a lot when I was planning my wedding, and then our florist asked if that's what my Mom wanted to do.  I asked my Mom and MIL what they prefered, they both wanted corsages. 

sarabellam

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_corsages-necessary?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:47ec37db-05db-47cd-9222-0ea3538b3105Post:1472e64d-3a13-44e1-8921-20f5d9a010d6">Re: Are corsages necessary?</a>:
[QUOTE]I barely touched this subject with my FMIL the other day and she came out with the following: "OOOH!  I'd love to have a pretty phaleonopsis orchid for the wedding!  I'll let you know whether to get a green one or just a plain white once I buy my dress!" erm... my flower budget consists of telling my stepmom what seeds to grow in the spring.  We're talking about mums and dahlias here.  I'm pretty certain phaleonopsis orchids don't grow in Canada.  FMIL also suggested the most expensive flower shop in my entire city to go to.  I also happened to think corsages we'rent necessary but apparently I'm screwed.
Posted by SpookieCat[/QUOTE]
SpookieCat, unless your FMIL is prepared to pony up some $$$ to beef up your floral budget, I'd say she is the one who is screwed. If it's not in the budget, it's not in the budget.

betrothed123

They are not at all necessary.  We didn't have them and no one even seemed to notice.

Pirata13

I could do without them, but I know my mom & FI's grannies will want them.  But I am making all of them, so I am opting to make small wrist corsages. I will have to ask FI's opinion on corsages for the guys though....pocket squares may be a consideration. 

BecW2be

My mom wanted them because they are traditional, but my corsages were not traditional. They were small button flowers, which pinned flat to the dresses. The boutts were the same. I made one for our moms and for our sisters. They were thrilled.

I certainly don't think they're necessary (really, what is "necessary" for a wedding?), but they are a nice gesture if your parents and grandparents are more traditional. If you don't want them, then tell your daughter. Out of courtesy I'd check with the MOG and feel her out, just in case that's something she's looking forward to.

ac_in_dc

They're not required.

Although they *are* cheap--all of my corsages were the same price as one bouquet or centerpiece, so it's a negligible percentage of the floral budget. They are kind of cheesey, but I think they're kind of useful, too, in that they help the guests at the wedding identify the parents of the bride & groom as well as the grandparents. When I'm at a wedding of someone I don't know well the corsages serve as a good marker of the people I should go introduce myself to

If the other parents and grandparents are OK with it, though, you can definitely skip them. Or you can carry a nosegay or a single flower and give the grandmas corsages.

ksokoloski

No one at my wedding got corasges/bouts. The dads and groomens got pocket squares and the bridesmaids and moms got boquets. The mom's were small nosegays of 1/2 dozen roses. Neither of the mom's wanted to wear anything but they wanted to have some flowers for church. No one ever commented to me that they were upset they didnt have flowers. My grandma acutally commented that she was happy she didnt have to wear anything!

I think if you dont want flowers or anything then its perfectly fine. I was happy i didnt have the added expense!

iamjoesgurl

I can understand if you are MOB and you do not want one, but I think of flowers as a nice way to honor a mother or grandmother so to me, they were necessary.  We did corsages for just 2 mothers and 2 grandmothers.  It cost about $30.  I think for us, it was well worth the small cost.  I agree with pps about some mothers and grandmothers feeling disappointed if they didn't get one.  Having said all of that, if the others feel like you do (OP), there isn't really a point in doing them.

By the way, we got married 10/10.  My MIL still has her corsage (yes, it is dead and looks awful).  So to her, I think it was special.

RaiKai

Not necessary. I don't even like them, I think because they remind me too much of prom.

We did not do the corsage/boutonniere deal. I was the only one with a bouquet (no bridal party). It was a very small wedding, everyone knew who one another was without needing to be identified with flowers.  No one seemed to even notice we did not have them, and of coure it was gentler on our budget.

skippylouwho

Love2talkdb - I am with you. I told my DD I didn't want a corsage and she is insisting. DD and her FI are paying for their wedding so it's their money but  to me, it's one way I can help them save money. Yes, I know they don't cost a lot but still.

Her FMIL and her FI's grandmothers and I will all have them (no grandmas still living on our side).

I haven't approached my FDIL about this yet. I'm going to a bridal show with her and her mom this weekend so maybe I can work that suggestion in. It just seems silly to me and it isn't that I don't like flowers - I LOVE them. I just don't want money spent on me that doesn't need to be, they all need it for other things.

tenofcups4me

I don't think they're "necessary," but I'm pretty sure my mom would have been hurt if I'd tried to tell her she wasn't getting any flowers. For my first wedding, she and my ex-MIL both walked down the aisle with bouquets -- they were either the same size as the BMs or slightly smaller. That was my preference and they both agreed they liked the idea of bouquets better than corsages.

To the OP, whether or not it's ok with the others really depends on their personalities and what's important to them. It doesn't seem to me that you should really get the right to deprive them of flowers if it's something they find important. Then again, it might also be important to your daughter that you have them. I'd express your opinion, but be willing to let it go if the others don't agree.

luv2talkdb

Thanks to everyone for your opinions. My mother passed away last May so I talked it over with my MIL and she said she doesn't care about having a corsage so I have decided NO flowers for moms and grandmothers. Flowers for bride, bridesmaids, groom, groomsmen, ushers, and FOB.