Where did this rule come from?

Hippinhipster

I was recently in my best friends wedding and her mom had thought she was doing the bride a favor by picking out some jewelry as the BM gifts! lol The necklace was hideous! Totally not my style... the other girls loved it and well... I didn't! Thankfully the bride knew I woudn't and even told me before hand "You're gonna hate it so I'll get you something else" lol She ended up taking me out for a spa day which was really nice! The necklace broke anyway while her sister was putting it on me for the wedding... awww so sad

noodle_oo

I personally think matching gifts of any kind (jewelry, clutches, shoes, whatever...) screams "i'm not thinking of you as my individual friend, I'm thinking of you as a faceless clone/prop for my pretty princess day".

Habs2Hart

It's not a "rule".  It's just being thoughful and sincere.  My BM's all have different styles and like different things.  Giving them something to wear in your wedding, unless you absolutely know that it is their own style, it's not uniform throughout all the bridesmaids and taht they will wear it again, or appreciate it, isn't really a gift for them.  It's part of their attire. 

specialk84

My mom found a huge discount on strands of pearls with matching stud earrings.  The sale was ending that day, so she bought them for each of my BM.  

I already handed them out to my MOH and one of the BM (the third BM is twelve and loses things).  Both girls loved them.  Yes, I'd like them to wear them to the wedding, but I'm still getting them something else.

courtney1188

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-this-rule-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:48eff2d2-a6fc-405c-84a5-7c25a9ecddadPost:e3e1f705-068a-419d-97da-0d1f6629300d">Re: Where did this rule come from?</a>:
[QUOTE]I actually looked for the same type of things but mine is a cubic zurconia (Not sure of the spelling). I wanted to get them something they could wear again.  See I had never heard until the knot that it wasn't "approriate" and I'm really curious as to when this started because I had seen it happen so many times.  I think it may just be that where I come a small town that it is the norm. 
Posted by StacyJenniges[/QUOTE]

I just don't get why you're so stuck on when/where/how it started. It's not like there was a specific day in history where this rule was announced. And I have seen a lot of weddings where the bride buys the BMs jewelry. I agree with the other girls, I don't see it as a gift, I see it as the bride wanting everyone to coordinate, so she buys jewelry for them and it all matches regardless of the BMs personal style. If they want to present it as a gift, whatever, but truth is that it's just them wanting everything on the BMs to match.

xyrius

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-this-rule-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:48eff2d2-a6fc-405c-84a5-7c25a9ecddadPost:3f6c28fe-dcee-4530-a104-ea7cdcb3e378">Re: Where did this rule come from?</a>:
[QUOTE]Xyrius, buying your WP gifts is on every wedding checklist I've ever seen. I don't find it touching that someone went down their checklist and checked another item off the list without putting any thought into it. That doesn't mean that I was any less touched to be asked or that just being asked wasn't enough for me, which is implied in what you wrote. It just means that if a gift is clearly something where you went to the store thinking "what will look good at my wedding?" rather than "what will my friend like?" I don't think it's a very good gift. That has nothing to do with me expecting a gift or needing a gift to be excited about your wedding, and any disppointment is about the thought/lack of thought given to the gift, not disappointment that I didn't get something I thought I deserved. And the part you bolded? It WAS obvious that my friend didn't think of me and my interests at all. Maybe you did think of your friends in buying something that matched, but I know my friend, and I know my interests, and she would not have gotten me those gifts for a birthday or Christmas because she knows they're not my style.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

EiC - I'm sorry I didn't have a chance to address your flame earlier, I had someone in my office.

I understand what you were trying to say, and I simply was trying to communicate - and failed - that I disagree that a bridesmaids gift should be like a birthday gift and match each bridesmaids personal style.  I disagree because when I was a bridesmaid, I did receive the same gift as everyone else - and it didn't matter to me.  Nothing more to it really.

I'm sorry if I offended you, to me it was simply a difference of opinion - not a personal attack on you.  It was clearly a case of wording fail on my part.

AbbeyS2011

<strong>In</strong> Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-this-rule-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:48eff2d2-a6fc-405c-84a5-7c25a9ecddadPost:2e53ced3-5230-4164-a0e8-6265637943bb">Re: Where did this rule come from?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Where did this rule come from? : Phew. I actually feel better. <strong> Sometimes it is sad to see how brides forget that the wedding really isn't worship the bride day.
</strong>Posted by HandBanana[/QUOTE]

Great, now I have to delete that from my programs. 

JK

crlewis803

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-this-rule-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:48eff2d2-a6fc-405c-84a5-7c25a9ecddadPost:e535d0c3-514e-44fe-bc16-77f16536f790">Re: Where did this rule come from?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've gotten necklaces for BM gifts twice.  I've worn both necklaces exactly once - the wedding.  Neither is my style at all.  It doesn't really feel like a gift when it's something you'll never wear.
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

I 100% agree.