Total Letdown (and TMI)

ExpatPumpkin

I got a diaphragm and I was SO EXCITED.  I thought I´d finally found a solution.  Then we tried it.  And it scraped him and hurt.  So we didn´t even get to finish.  Total letdown.

I really thought this would be it.  And I got Taking Charge of Your Fertility (thanks, Sucrets!), so we were going to abstain during my fertile days just to be sure.

Now I don´t know what to do.  We´ve tried the following and I´ve had horrible side effects:  NuvaRing, Yaz (pill), and the IUD.  Needless to say, condoms are a huge bummer for him. 

So basically our sex life sucks.  And I really don´t want to get pregnant for another few years.  Any ideas?  Does NFP really work for preventing pregnancy?

Thanks, I´m just really disappointed and needed to vent.

sarabellam

NFP will work to prevent pregnancy if you follow it RELIGIOUSLY (hehehe, no pun intended). Sorry you are having difficulties finding something that works for both of you.

Nebb

Female condoms!!

tlv204

Dental dams? Do people really use those?

Bubbalub

NFP can work if you are careful about charting and keeping track of your 3 signs (temp, mucus (I know! Ew!) and cervix height). I barely keep track but can pretty much tell when my fertile days are. I'm not as careful as I could be, though, because we still use a condom just in case. After the wedding, though, all bets are off.

That sucks about the diaphragm. Is it possible it wasn't fitted properly?

kate51485

Omg dental dams.  They had those in baskets at my college's health services.  It made me so uncomfortable sitting in the chair next to that table!

Sounds like you've tried almost everything.  My only other solution is to convert to the Duggars.

Bubbalub

Oh, and FI's former roommate and his girlfriend apparently used a dental damn once as they left if very prominently at the top of the bathroom trash bin for all to see. EW.

ExpatPumpkin

Aren´t dental dams for the oral?  Not our problem

Nebb

I feel rude saying it but you look small, is it possible the birth control pill you were on gave you side effects because the hormones werent at the right level for you because youre a lower weight? (Im not saying youre underweight or anything, but you do look small) Could you try something with a different level of hormones?

ExpatPumpkin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_total-letdown-tmi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4914a4ad-07c3-4233-90e8-4fee9cad52f0Post:e0959039-5f50-4f7b-85df-4a3735bb2a4c">Re: Total Letdown (and TMI)</a>:
[QUOTE]Was it just Yaz you hated or overall hormonal pills? Yaz gave me horrible migraines and severe PMS (which I found pretty ironic) but there were other pills I liked a lot better. Orthotricyclen was my favorite, I had no side effects at all, and I'm on Ocella now and the only thing I dislike I get longer periods, but that might just be because I got used to the 2-3 days on Yaz.
Posted by lovethebeach16[/QUOTE]

I´ve tried several different brands and NuvaRing, so pretty much hormones and me don´t mix :(

tlv204

All I know is we got free dental dams in college, but the only time they got used was to stretch them out really far and make funny faces pressed into them. 

ExpatPumpkin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_total-letdown-tmi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4914a4ad-07c3-4233-90e8-4fee9cad52f0Post:3c3b4947-c186-4b6f-946c-f1ffae4fcc63">Re: Total Letdown (and TMI)</a>:
[QUOTE]I feel rude saying it but you look small, is it possible the birth control pill you were on gave you side effects because the hormones werent at the right level for you because youre a lower weight? (Im not saying youre underweight or anything, but you do look small) Could you try something with a different level of hormones?
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

That´s a really good point.  I would imagine that the pills have a dosage that works for most of the population, so if you´re very thin they may be too concentrated.  But I´m not THAT SMALL.  I´m 5´3" and weigh about 115 - I was at about 106 in the picture because I went to a fitness boot camp before the wedding.  Since then, I´ve been eating ;)

kate51485

Expat darling, that is teeny tiny

What about the low doses of hormones?  I took Orthotricyclen-Lo for a long time and loved it.

temerityjane

Expat - The Today sponge. It's a bit hard to find and can be a bit pricey, but we LOVE it.

Once it's inserted (much like a diaphragm), you can have sex any time, as many time as you want, for the next 24 hours. It has to be left in for at least 6 hours after the last sexual encounter (so 30 hours at the maximum).

We LOVE it. It's better than condoms, of course, and while awkward to put in place, once it's there, no worries for a full 24 hours. 

temerityjane

http://www.amazon.com/Improved-TODAY-Sponge-Vaginal-Contraceptive/dp/B002DGY1UY

on Amazon

We usually get them for $15-ish a box at Walgreens or CVS. We alternate with condoms, though, because oh man they make sex expensive.

ExpatPumpkin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_total-letdown-tmi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4914a4ad-07c3-4233-90e8-4fee9cad52f0Post:e6aa6324-82ce-472d-9f11-ea5a876c1ee8">Re: Total Letdown (and TMI)</a>:
[QUOTE]Expat - The Today sponge. It's a bit hard to find and can be a bit pricey, but we LOVE it. Once it's inserted (much like a diaphragm), you can have sex any time, as many time as you want, for the next 24 hours. It has to be left in for at least 6 hours after the last sexual encounter (so 30 hours at the maximum). We LOVE it. It's better than condoms, of course, and while awkward to put in place, once it's there, no worries for a full 24 hours. 
Posted by temerityjane[/QUOTE]

OMG!!!  I didn´t think they MADE those anymore.  Remember the Seinfeld episode where Elaine was trying to decide if a boyfriend was "sponge-worthy"?

Where do you find them, and can he feel them at all?

AdeleDazeem

I was on ortho tricyclen when I was that small (5'3'', ~110 llbs) and had no problems with the pill.

I recently was put on Micronor (progestin only, no estrogen).  I was on a dual pill for nearly 9 years so this is the first time in a loooong time I've felt like myself.  Your cycle is no longer regulated and its half the amount of horomones you'd take in a dual pill.  I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually like it.

EDIT: beach - I was taken off a dual pill because of migraines.  I felt strongly that my migraines were linked to the pill, but the doctors didn't agree.  I went on the Micronor and haven't had one migraine since.  Change your pills - it may make all the difference!

temerityjane

You can order them on amazon, or even right here: http://www.mayerlabs-products.com/40403.html from the manufacturer.

I do remember those episodes - they've been on and off the market since. Not because of ineffectiveness, but the company that made them had to make expensive changes or something and they opted to no longer make them, and someone else bought it and makes them now.

Honestly, sometimes I make him use a condom because I'm not in the mood enough to make it spongeworthy. Heh. They are kind of expensive.

I just asked him and he says he can't feel it at all once it's in. 

Aside from ordering online, we find them at Walgreens, CVS, other drug stores. They can be hard to hunt down sometimes.

sarah0725

This might be an obvious question, but have you tried all sorts of condoms? FI is nuts and insists on two methods (pill and condom), and when we first started out, he was using those awful thick normal ones. I suggested switching to the ultra thins that Trojan makes, and apparently it was night and day for him.

SimplyIndulgent

Talk to your doctor?  I assume with all the pills, you already have.  However, if you haven't, you should.  There are sexual specialists who can help you find solutions.  There are low-hormone pills, and progesterone only pills.  Also, the longer you take something, the less impact the symptoms are... your body gets used to regulating it.  It sounds like you switched a lot, so maybe you just needed to stick with something for a bit longer.  Eitherway, doctors are really the only way to go....

Mrs.B6302007

TCOYF/NFP worked for us for 2 years as preventative and then we switched to TTC with it.  I'm a fan =-) 

ExpatPumpkin

TJ - Thanks for the info.  I will definitely be trying those out next. 

Joy, Love, and Kate - I´ll look into the lower dosage pills as well. 

Nebb - Thanks for pointing that out

Sara and Bubbalub - Thanks for the NFP encouragement

Ladies, there may be hope for us yet! 

ExpatPumpkin

Sarah - He said the thin ones are better, but still not as good as the real deal...

Simply - I do need to have a more in depth conversation about this with my doctor.

ExpatPumpkin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_total-letdown-tmi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4914a4ad-07c3-4233-90e8-4fee9cad52f0Post:b8afbc56-b0e7-4056-b5d1-a31275114227">Re: Total Letdown (and TMI)</a>:
[QUOTE]TCOYF/NFP worked for us for 2 years as preventative and then we switched to TTC with it.  I'm a fan =-) 
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

Were you just TERRIFIED in the beginning?  That´s where I am now.  I really don´t want to get pregnant for a few years and I´m so scared I´ll do something wrong.

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_total-letdown-tmi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4914a4ad-07c3-4233-90e8-4fee9cad52f0Post:91cedfa3-7b6f-46da-b42c-e84da1dcf487">Re: Total Letdown (and TMI)</a>:
[QUOTE]Joy - my doctor switched me to Ocella (generic Yasmin) which I think is still a dual pill. I'm going to google Micronor, but that would be really great to feel more like myself again and still be on a pill. I'm one of those people to needs to physically see birth control to believe it works.
Posted by lovethebeach16[/QUOTE]

Ha!  I need to see it, too!

Be careful... I have PMS for the first time in nine years.  That wasn't pleasant.  But the no headache thing = heavenly.

lisarose7

I'm on Ortho-tricylen and like it, but I use this spermicide foam ovule insert as a backup if I ever have to take antibiotics.  I can't remember what it's called, but it comes in a gray and pink box and you can find it at most major chains and pharmacies.

ExpatPumpkin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_total-letdown-tmi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4914a4ad-07c3-4233-90e8-4fee9cad52f0Post:3413eb51-e078-4bfe-881f-e757e40e8a1c">Re: Total Letdown (and TMI)</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm on Ortho-tricylen and like it, but I use this spermicide foam ovule insert as a backup if I ever have to take antibiotics.  I can't remember what it's called, but it comes in a gray and pink box and you can find it at most major chains and pharmacies.
Posted by lisarose7[/QUOTE]

I do know what you´re talking about.  It´s a spermicide.  I think that the failure rate for spermicide alone is 25-30 so it needs to be used with something else...  The diaphragm, for example, is used with spermicide.  Using it as a backup when you take antibiotics is really smart :)

bpage3

I've been on yaz for several years- I don't love it but had problems with other pills for a long time.  (I'm 5'2 and 97lbs, but everyone thinks I'm cury becuase I have such a small frame)  I'm thinking of switching to a diaphragm because pre-cancerous cells are linked at long-term bcp (I'm almost 26 and been on since 17 for acne) and want to see if it would clear up.  Has anyone had success w/diaphragms?

NuggetBrain

Did you try the patch?  Or is that the same hormonial dosage as the pill?

PsyDet 2155

Ugh...finding the right birth control is such a trial and error process!  Hope the sponge works out for you the your husband.

PsyDet 2155

Trial and error as in, difficult with finding one without nasty side effects.