carding guests?

erin7264

Forgive me if this is a dumb question. I just assumed it was required.

I mentioned to FI last night while we were at my parents' house that the bartender would be checking ID's on the guests prior to serving them alcohol. He made the worst face and basically said that anyone that wanted to drink should be served and that people would probably be offended.

I assumed it was normal practice, since we have to use a licensed server for the venue and are required to carry event insurance with an alcohol rider. And since it's only my name on the policy, I guess it's probably more important to me that we stick to the rules and don't open me up to a major lawsuit headache (like a minor getting into a wreck while DUI).

I'm not trying to be a b!tch and spoil the fun for the underages, but it's not like we're just having a BBQ in our backyard or something. Am I way off base?

CFM102012

Even if you didn't have the insurance the venue/bartender will probably card anyone who doesn't look old enough.  If they get busted serving alcohol to minors they can get slapped with huge fines and lose their liquor license.  They're covering their own butts.  It's not worth it to them.  Better for someone old enough to be flattered by being carded than to serve to a minor because they didn't card.  

pokepoke27

I always bring my ID to events with bartenders. It's against the law to serve alcohol to minors - so it makes sense to me that a licensed professional will card guests. 

Funny story time:

My cousin got married in Hawaii - her family is from NO. Her brother (23 at the time) hadn't been carded since he was about 18 (yes, he had a fake ID). He wasn't able to get a glass of champagne for the toast because he didn't think he'd need to bring his ID. The bartender refused to give him any although his parents both insisted he was well over the legal age. 

squeakyduck

I was carded at a wedding I went to last weekend. It was no big deal. People will not be offended, they will probably expect it. 

 

crash2729

I'm sure the carding of guests is one of those non-negotiable things. 

The bartender is required with their license to serve only those that are legally able to drink. Perhaps they need to explain that to your FI.

LaBellaVita23

I have been carded at every wedding I've been to except my own (but we did have to provide our IDs at one of the planning meetings beforehand.)  A wedding venue would have to be run by aboslute morons to risk losing their liquor license by serving alcohol to minors.

NicoleBreeze2013

I've worked a few weddings at my old work and I always ask for ID if in doubt of age people just expect it at events now. If they kick up a stink I'd just say "I'm not losing my job so you can have a drink" funny story asked a lady she turned out to be 35 she looked amazing and she took it as a complement

NicoleBreeze2013

I've worked a few weddings at my old work and I always ask for ID if in doubt of age people just expect it at events now. If they kick up a stink I'd just say "I'm not losing my job so you can have a drink" funny story asked a lady she turned out to be 35 she looked amazing and she took it as a complement

whitsy

I can't imagine that guests wouldn't be carded. 

vantica

Should definitely card people as the fines can be huge if caught.  I think we will be lucky in that there will be few people who will actually look close to 18 years old (well, I guess technically it's if you look 25 or younger, but even then) so that not many people will actually be ID'd, and those who are older who do will likely be flattered.  Lol.  I think your bartender will automatically do it anyway, so it's probably nothing you need to even worry about.  My bartender will be a family friend, but I'll let him know we expect it.

hannahmassey

Well. I haven't figured out my reception yet, but I plan on doing wrist bands for booze. That's the only way the bartender will know and he won't have to remember faces or repeatedly ask for Id.

ajowens23

at my sister-in-law's wedding (hotel) nobody was carded for the champagne at their tables, servers just brought it over and filled all the glasses, but we were carded at the door.  At my two cousins weddings (upstate NY at a country club) nobody was carded at the bars and champagne was served to everyone... not exactly smart but was nice to not have to bring your id every time you wanted a drink

ajowens23

i'm way too tired...when i said carded at the door i meant BAR..

Legu

Just in case people are not aware from my weird spelling of certain words, etc, I will note first that I am in the UK, therefore our laws are slightly different. I am also, however, a licencee, and can talk [UK] alcohol laws to death. Over here, yes, you can purchase alcohol once 18. If you are sat in an area designated for eating [basically, tables prelaid with cutlery etc] a child from the age of five may have a small glass of wine or half a pint of cider whilst eating a meal, if purchased by a responsible adult [over 18]. Technically. 99 out of 100 places have house policies to prevent any drinking under 18 just to be on the safe side. To sell alcohol, [and this means drink by drink, or advanced bar tab] you must have a premises licence [to allow that building/field/truck to sell alcohol, then you must have someone with a personal licence [this is the person who basically agrees to take the blame if someone underage/overly drunk/on drugs gets served]. This person does not have to be present 24/7, but must understand that if they are not there, they must name another responsible person in their place. If anything goes wrong, they are still accountable, present or not. If the police or trading standards catch an under 18 being served, the fines are crazy. For the person that actually served the U18, they get an 80 on the spot fine. The person in charge at the time [if different from the personal licence holder] 5000 fine, and/or 6 months in prison. For the PLH whether there at the time or not, 5000 and/or 6 months in prison. They would also lose their licence, and not be able to reapply for one for 10 years. This means if their livelihood is running a pub, or a hotel bar or whatever, they're out of a job. For whoever's in charge of the premises/named as the premises licence holder where the U18 was served, that's 20000 and/or 6 months in prison. So, when I ID someone at work [I guess that's what you guys refer to as carding], and they complain/argue, I simply tell them it's really not worth my pub getting shut down, me losing my job, facing imprisonment, and paying as much as a 30080 fine, just to give them a drink. They soon shut up. After all that waffle... I strongly suggest you doubly check your venues alcohol policy. If they say no under[21s?] will get served, do what you can to assist them with that, and remember, it's for a good reason. Maybe just wordofmouth that bringing proof of age cards would be a good idea for anyone likely to be asked for it. Again, UK law, but... Over here, we can not just take someone's word for it. If we ask someone for ID, they show us a passport, driving licence, or they GTFO. The Queen herself could stand there and swear they're over 18, if we're not shown one of those two things as proof, they are not getting served. Sorry for the megalong post. It's a subject that means a lot to me.

pkontk

I look young and have definitely been carded at weddings (interestingly enough, only after I turned 21... before that I was served a few times.)

I don't think anyone will be offended, nor should they.

erin7264

Well, I'm glad to hear it should be expected. The venue just requires that we have a licensed server as long as the drinks are free, otherwise there are more permits and such to get from our state liquor control for selling alcohol (cash bar, ick!). I'm sure they assume that the server will be following the laws. Our bartender is a friend of FI's, and FI has a couple sibs & cousins that are over 18 but under 21, they would be my primary concerns. I don't know the bartender well enough to know whether he's the kind that would let a few get by or if he's a stickler (I've only met him a couple times). I'll make sure it's clear.

Thanks ladies!

SomethingBeautiful08

Please assure your FI that if your guests are old enough to drink legally, they should be mature enough to understand, and probably expect to be carded. 

SomethingBeautiful08

Please assure your FI that if your guests are old enough to drink legally, they should be mature enough to understand, and probably expect to be carded. 

denisefleming

We're not having a bar, simply a cooler with beer (casual reception).  However I have been very clear that I personally will stop anyone from getting into that cooler if they are under age.  We are serving the guests sparkling cider for the toast so that there will be no issue with a parent pouring champagne for their underage child. (Some parents seem to think it's OK for their child to have a drink -- I do not.)

MegenQ

I think I may have the same problem. Being from Wisconsin, drinking, well is in a lot of people's blood and we do have a law that states that a minor can drink if the parents gives permission. While most bars do not follow the rule, some do, and while we may only have a few guest under 21, I am afraid that some parents might provide alcohol to them if they are close to 21. Our venue has an open bar for guest over 21, so what would stop a parent from going up and getting a beer for the kid and giving to them? I know my FI and I have discussed it a few times and are trying to find a way to encourage parents not to provide alcohol with out insulting them.

mbrischoux

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_carding-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4919d4e2-6931-4d5a-9ef9-069a7b3d2fadPost:b0795c83-3d2d-45f2-b85c-3bebe7283969">carding guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]Forgive me if this is a dumb question. I just assumed it was required. I mentioned to FI last night while we were at my parents' house that the bartender would be checking ID's on the guests prior to serving them alcohol. He made the worst face and basically said that anyone that wanted to drink should be served and that people would probably be offended. I assumed it was normal practice, since we have to use a licensed server for the venue and are required to carry event insurance with an alcohol rider. And since it's only my name on the policy, I guess it's probably more important to me that we stick to the rules and don't open me up to a major lawsuit headache (like a minor getting into a wreck while DUI). <strong>I'm not trying to be a b!tch and spoil the fun for the underages, but it's not like we're just having a BBQ in our backyard or something. Am I way off base?
</strong>Posted by erin7264[/QUOTE]

Keeping everything legal is not being a bitch, it's being responsible.  Your name is on the policy, you have every right to wtch your back.

I personally wouln't be offended if I was carded...It means the venue is being responsible.  The underages will just have to enjoy themselves without imbibing (sorry, I'm a word nerd and think that's just a fun word to say)

squeakyduck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_carding-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4919d4e2-6931-4d5a-9ef9-069a7b3d2fadPost:ead36231-f1fa-4789-98f3-9d9722327e65">Re: carding guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]We're not having a bar, simply a cooler with beer (casual reception).  However I have been very clear that I personally will stop anyone from getting into that cooler if they are under age.  We are serving the guests sparkling cider for the toast so that there will be no issue with a parent pouring champagne for their underage child.<strong> (Some parents seem to think it's OK for their child to have a drink -- I do not.)</strong>
Posted by denisefleming[/QUOTE]

<div>Not your kid, you don't get to make that call. At your wedding, I can understand that YOU will not serve alcohol to underage guests, but you really can't control what their parents do. Many parents think that offering their kids a glass of champagne or wine in a controlled setting is a good way to teach responsible drinking. </div>

squeakyduck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_carding-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4919d4e2-6931-4d5a-9ef9-069a7b3d2fadPost:b0653c1a-aa07-417f-86ed-7284ab6ce0b1">Re: carding guests?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think I may have the same problem. Being from Wisconsin, drinking, well is in a lot of people's blood and we do have a law that states that a minor can drink if the parents gives permission. While most bars do not follow the rule, some do, and while we may only have a few guest under 21, I am afraid that some parents might provide alcohol to them if they are close to 21. Our venue has an open bar for guest over 21, so what would stop a parent from going up and getting a beer for the kid and giving to them? <strong>I know my FI and I have discussed it a few times and are trying to find a way to encourage parents not to provide alcohol with out insulting them.</strong>
Posted by MegenQ[/QUOTE]

<div>There is no way to ask them to do that without insulting them. If you do that you are insulting their parenting, and it's really not your place to judge what they do with their child. As long as it's legal, you have no liability problems. </div>

Simply_Caitlin

As a bartender, I'm going to echo what everyone else is saying.  I don't know about the specific laws in your state, but in mine if a bartender gets caught serving someone underaged they can literally ban you from working any place that serves alcohol for a set amount of time.  For someone who makes their money serving drinks, that could be a disaster.  Might want to let him know that.