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Wedding Etiquette Forum
carding guests?
Forgive me if this is a dumb question. I just assumed it was required.
I mentioned to FI last night while we were at my parents' house that the bartender would be checking ID's on the guests prior to serving them alcohol. He made the worst face and basically said that anyone that wanted to drink should be served and that people would probably be offended.
I assumed it was normal practice, since we have to use a licensed server for the venue and are required to carry event insurance with an alcohol rider. And since it's only my name on the policy, I guess it's probably more important to me that we stick to the rules and don't open me up to a major lawsuit headache (like a minor getting into a wreck while DUI).
I'm not trying to be a b!tch and spoil the fun for the underages, but it's not like we're just having a BBQ in our backyard or something. Am I way off base?
I mentioned to FI last night while we were at my parents' house that the bartender would be checking ID's on the guests prior to serving them alcohol. He made the worst face and basically said that anyone that wanted to drink should be served and that people would probably be offended.
I assumed it was normal practice, since we have to use a licensed server for the venue and are required to carry event insurance with an alcohol rider. And since it's only my name on the policy, I guess it's probably more important to me that we stick to the rules and don't open me up to a major lawsuit headache (like a minor getting into a wreck while DUI).
I'm not trying to be a b!tch and spoil the fun for the underages, but it's not like we're just having a BBQ in our backyard or something. Am I way off base?
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Re: carding guests?
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I don't think anyone will be offended, nor should they.
Well, I'm glad to hear it should be expected. The venue just requires that we have a licensed server as long as the drinks are free, otherwise there are more permits and such to get from our state liquor control for selling alcohol (cash bar, ick!). I'm sure they assume that the server will be following the laws. Our bartender is a friend of FI's, and FI has a couple sibs & cousins that are over 18 but under 21, they would be my primary concerns. I don't know the bartender well enough to know whether he's the kind that would let a few get by or if he's a stickler (I've only met him a couple times). I'll make sure it's clear.
Thanks ladies!
[QUOTE]Forgive me if this is a dumb question. I just assumed it was required. I mentioned to FI last night while we were at my parents' house that the bartender would be checking ID's on the guests prior to serving them alcohol. He made the worst face and basically said that anyone that wanted to drink should be served and that people would probably be offended. I assumed it was normal practice, since we have to use a licensed server for the venue and are required to carry event insurance with an alcohol rider. And since it's only my name on the policy, I guess it's probably more important to me that we stick to the rules and don't open me up to a major lawsuit headache (like a minor getting into a wreck while DUI). <strong>I'm not trying to be a b!tch and spoil the fun for the underages, but it's not like we're just having a BBQ in our backyard or something. Am I way off base?
</strong>Posted by erin7264[/QUOTE]
Keeping everything legal is not being a bitch, it's being responsible. Your name is on the policy, you have every right to wtch your back.
I personally wouln't be offended if I was carded...It means the venue is being responsible. The underages will just have to enjoy themselves without imbibing (sorry, I'm a word nerd and think that's just a fun word to say)
[QUOTE]We're not having a bar, simply a cooler with beer (casual reception). However I have been very clear that I personally will stop anyone from getting into that cooler if they are under age. We are serving the guests sparkling cider for the toast so that there will be no issue with a parent pouring champagne for their underage child.<strong> (Some parents seem to think it's OK for their child to have a drink -- I do not.)</strong>
Posted by denisefleming[/QUOTE]
<div>Not your kid, you don't get to make that call. At your wedding, I can understand that YOU will not serve alcohol to underage guests, but you really can't control what their parents do. Many parents think that offering their kids a glass of champagne or wine in a controlled setting is a good way to teach responsible drinking. </div>
[QUOTE]I think I may have the same problem. Being from Wisconsin, drinking, well is in a lot of people's blood and we do have a law that states that a minor can drink if the parents gives permission. While most bars do not follow the rule, some do, and while we may only have a few guest under 21, I am afraid that some parents might provide alcohol to them if they are close to 21. Our venue has an open bar for guest over 21, so what would stop a parent from going up and getting a beer for the kid and giving to them? <strong>I know my FI and I have discussed it a few times and are trying to find a way to encourage parents not to provide alcohol with out insulting them.</strong>
Posted by MegenQ[/QUOTE]
<div>There is no way to ask them to do that without insulting them. If you do that you are insulting their parenting, and it's really not your place to judge what they do with their child. As long as it's legal, you have no liability problems. </div>
As a bartender, I'm going to echo what everyone else is saying. I don't know about the specific laws in your state, but in mine if a bartender gets caught serving someone underaged they can literally ban you from working any place that serves alcohol for a set amount of time. For someone who makes their money serving drinks, that could be a disaster. Might want to let him know that.
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