Father of the Groom speech "most important"?

meggoeggo29

Hi!

Quick question for you all!

Last night at dinner my FFIL said that his speech would be the most important speech given at the wedding because his speech is used as the toast to the bride.  He also mentioned that he would like to take some of my father's speech time if he doesn't want to use it (my dad is more soft spoken- but wants to and will give a speech as we are very close).

I know it isn't a huge deal...but how do I tell him that my father's speech is also important?

What is the usual order for speeches? Has anyone else ever heard this before, that the FOG's speech is the most important?

Beachy730

I've never seen anyone other than the BM and MOH give speeches at a wedding.  It is my understanding that the hosts of the wedding could give a speech also though.  But seriously, your guests don't want to sit through a million speeches.

allyson+williams

I agree with PP...I don't think the FOG and FOB generally give speeches at the wedding because that is a lot of speeches   I did go to one wedding where both fathers did speak, but the bride and groom did not have a MOH or best man; the fathers gave the only speeches as a replacement for the WP.  If you really like the idea of both fathers speaking, though, I would allot each dad the same amount of time, and I would request that all speeches be short and sweet (like, 2 minutes each). 

meggoeggo29

Thanks girls!

We definitely want less speeches, more dancing and partying. Which is why his comments last night threw me for a loop a little bit. I think he is expecting more of a 10 minute speech rather than the 3-4 minutes we were thinking.

I will just have to be specific with my wishes!

ootmother2

FOG ususally toasts the couple at the RD

Usually toasts are FOB, BM and sometimes the groom

Recently I've seen more maid of honors speaches

mica178

My FIL toasted us at the RD.  My father toasted us at the wedding reception.  Neither speech lasted more than 2 minutes.  4 minutes would be a long welcome speech.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_father-of-groom-speech-important?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4b3898f8-0197-4d4e-853c-dd0a5b7de0f1Post:f8b93de9-5ab3-4189-8208-92c46acbe505">Re: Father of the Groom speech "most important"?</a>:
[QUOTE]My FIL toasted us at the RD.  My father toasted us at the wedding reception.  Neither speech lasted more than 2 minutes.  <strong>4 minutes would be a long welcome speech.</strong>
Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]

<div>Exactly.  If the fathers do speak, it is supposed to be to thank eveyone for coming, not to toast the couple.  The toasts are for the BM/MOH.</div>

meggoeggo29

thanks for the comparison to "Hey Soul Sister"...eek no thank you!!!

MaggieandJake

the FOG is toasting at our RD since he's hosting the event.  My dad, MOH and BM are giving speeches on the wedding day.  FI and I will probably do a quick thank you as well, but not a full speech.

tenofcups4me

I've rarely seen parents of either the bride or groom toast at a wedding. I usually see the best man and maid of honor toast before dinner and then the couple make a quick thank you speech/toast at some point. And I'm really confused why all these posts are referring only to fathers, not mothers too. Don't women speak in your circles?

leia1979

I can't recall, but I think my friend's mother (MOB) may have given a super short welcome at her wedding. Otherwise, I only see the MOH and best man make toasts.

We plan to say a very brief welcome, as we're hosting, followed by toasts from the MOH and BM.

Kristin789

The host of the RD, which is the FOG, begins the RD with a toast to everyone who has come to the RD and especially the bride and groom.

The host of the wedding reception, which is the FOB, begins the meal with a toast to everyone who has come to the reception and especially the bride and groom.  Then the Best Man gives a toast to the bride and groom.  Sometimes the MOH gives a toast also.  That's IT.  There is no place for the FOG to give a toast at the wedding reception.

The Mel and Todd Show

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_father-of-groom-speech-important?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4b3898f8-0197-4d4e-853c-dd0a5b7de0f1Post:23f65340-836f-4c2a-96ab-50805dc4d828">Re: Father of the Groom speech "most important"?</a>:
[QUOTE]The host of the RD, which is the FOG, begins the RD with a toast to everyone who has come to the RD and especially the bride and groom. The host of the wedding reception, which is the FOB, begins the meal with a toast to everyone who has come to the reception and especially the bride and groom.  Then the Best Man gives a toast to the bride and groom.  Sometimes the MOH gives a toast also.  That's IT.  There is no place for the FOG to give a toast at the wedding reception.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

Kristin, please don't leave out important details.  You are going to lead this poor girl astray. 

Sorry OP, Kristin forgot that immediately after the FOB's toast, the guests should accompany the b&g to their bridal suite to inspect the sheets, and then help them into bed so that they may make sweet coitus.  Some well to do families like to leave the dowry out for others to see, but this is YOUR call- if you don't want sheep and other assorted livestock hanging about as you're deflowered, you don't have to oblige that request. 

You're welcome, Kristin.  Fixed it for you.  Please be more careful next time.

meggoeggo29

If we are paying for it ourselves (no dowry needed!) -do we do the welcome speech?

em01092

My FILs will say something at the RD, the event they are hosting. 

FI and I will do a short welcome and thank you prior to eating at the reception. My grandma (MOB for all wedding purposes) will then lead everyone in prayer to bless the food. So yes, you could do a short welcome if you would like. That said, I think you should still go around and personally thank everyone for coming, especially if you did not do a receiving line. 

After dinner, my MOH will do a speech, as will the BM, if he wants to. He is not big on public speaking lol.