What is the proper shower etiquette? My cousin is throwing me a shower in a couple of weeks, and a week later a lady from my parents' church will throw me another shower. As the bride, what is expected of me? I know I'm supposed to help with the guest list, but my mother is micromanaging the shower from the lady at church so I've not actually spoken with the hostess myself. Should I get the hostess a gift? Any thoughts here are greatly appreciated.