I made a mistake... now need some help fixing

megandev

I am finally getting after these thank you cards... but I have a problem and a question.

--1st problem: I was very organized with writing down gifts in a notebook, keeping the cards, etc... but I know lost one, maybe 2 cards and I can't remember if these people did send  something or if they didn't.

Anyways, I don't know if should still send a thank you to both of the couples who may have sent cards/gifts of money.  I think I should, but I also think it would be weird for them if I send them a thank you if they didn't send me anything and didn't attend... (see question #2)

I actually feel horrible about messing this up, anything thoughts on fixing this?

--2nd question: we had a lot of guests come to our wedding and didn't bring cards or anything.  Do I still send them a card thanking them for coming?  We (obviously) didn't get married for gifts, so its not a big deal that this happened, I just want to do the right thing.

Thanks!

ShakeUpTampa

For the ones who brought no gifts, no thank you card is needed as the reception was a thank you for them coming and of course hopefully you said it during the toastsor announcements...

As for the other issue do you have anyone close to those people you can contact to find out more information?

DramaGeek

For the two that you aren't sure, send them a thank you and thank them for sharing in your day.  If they did send a gift, they'll likely call (or contact your parents, if that's more comfortable for them) to make sure you got their gift.  Then you can tell them that you received it but the card got separated or something, and you can thank them properly.

For those who came with no gift or card, no thank you is necessary and we'e of two minds on that around here.  Some of us (myself included) feel that a "thank you for sharing the day" is a nice gesture, others feel that it can come across as snarky or guilt tripp-y, kind of rubbing it in that the person didn't give a gift.

If you do decide to write thank yous just for coming, I alway use:

"Dear Aunt Sally,

It was so good to see you at the wedding!  Thank you so much for coming, it really meant a lot that you were able to be there.  It was fun to get a chance to chat with you.  Your Europe trip sounds like it will be a blast!

Thank you again for sharing our day with us.

Love, Bride and Groom"

sklink0486

I agree with PP's suggestions. I heard that if you receive gifts and can't remember what or who, send them thank you cards and by not mentioning a gift, they will usually wonder if you got it and call, etc. to make sure.

Kristin789

>>--2nd question: we had a lot of guests come to our wedding and didn't bring cards or anything.  Do I still send them a card thanking them for coming?

No.  Your reception was their THANK YOU for coming.
After that, if they gave you a GIFT, then you send a paper TY to thank them for the GIFT.

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_made-mistake-now-need-fixing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4b6eb1f1-de9e-40ad-922c-bd8fc6313723Post:50b38d95-a3eb-40e9-84c2-f8500cf0c35c">Re: I made a mistake... now need some help fixing</a>:
[QUOTE] />>--2nd question: we had a lot of guests come to our wedding and didn't bring cards or anything.  Do I still send them a card thanking them for coming? No.  Your reception was their THANK YOU for coming. After that, if they gave you a GIFT, then you send a paper TY to thank them for the GIFT.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

Its okay,Kristin.  Just stay calm now, hmmm?

megandev

Thanks ladies!  That helped out a lot (and calmed down all my "what ifs")!!!