SIL vent...

bexbark

So I have this SIL. Yeah, everybody has one, but I am convinced mine is the devil. First, she married my older brother in August, so not that long ago. When we were both mid planning (since she didn't start planning until her wedding was a month away...we won't talk about how that ended up), she asked to see a picture of my dress (via email). When I sent her the picture, she said "Oh. Yeah. Your dress is a lot more plainer (her grammar error, not mine) than mine. But then, when you're heavier, you should probably not wear so much sparkle. It will just make you look fatter." Yes, ladies, she said it. Now, perhaps to her size 0 I'm "fat" but I'm pretty confident in my size 14 jeans. Anyway. She keeps picking on things that I'm doing for my wedding (and I'm not telling her these details, she's just getting them from family). And to make this long story a bit shorter...I have to spend all weekend with her at our family Thanksgiving...and my bachelorette party on Saturday which she called and demanded an invite to.

cliff notes version: my sil is an itch and I can't stand her. No advice needed really...i just needed to vent.

P.S. I've posted before, but fische recommended I change my user name, so I have just now been able to start posting again. I love this board!

Nebb

If she already married your brother she is your SIL, not FSIL.

SwedishChick2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fsil-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4bc46481-58bb-4f5d-ae10-ca54cc21a9bfPost:b1526baf-aa21-4abf-8e46-5ca2a7d3e330">FSIL vent...</a>:
[QUOTE]So I have this FSIL. Yeah, everybody has one, but I am convinced mine is the devil. First, she married my older brother in August, so not that long ago. Posted by bexbark[/QUOTE]

So, wouldn't she technically be your SIL if she is already married to your brother?  However, she does sound like a biitch. 

bexbark

Yes, that's true. Thanks for correcting me...I'm still trying to figure out all these shortened versions of things. I suppose my FSIL would be on my fiance's side. Agh. Sorry!

opalsky007

Sorry she's such a wench. And good for you, you seem to be handling it gracefully.

Nebb

I think you should retaliate a la "mean girls" or that stupid bridewars movie. do what you can to make her fat and ruin her life.

Or dont. It would be fun t hough.

bbyckes

What did you post under before?

Sucks that's your new SIL. 

georgia_bride09

She just sounds like she doesn't have much tact. But then, a lot of people seem to suffer from that.

LesPaul

She sounds like someone you might need to put on permanent ignore.  She's got self esteem issues in addition to her general biitchiness.

opalsky007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fsil-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4bc46481-58bb-4f5d-ae10-ca54cc21a9bfPost:6ea947fb-e33a-424f-bc81-e6d0e9fd0e32">Re: SIL vent...</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you should retaliate a la "mean girls" or that stupid bridewars movie. do what you can to make her fat and ruin her life. Or dont. It would be fun t hough.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

That could definitely be fun...but odds are, she'll just get sloppy at the b-party and embarass herself. Then you can just stand back and enjoy the show.

bexbark

yes, the tact thing...I don't think she knows what that word means. Last Christmas, she hugged me when I came home and said "OH! Are you losing weight for my wedding?" This was the weekend when she asked me to be in the wedding and I said no, thank you.

As for making her fat...sadly that's an impossibility. Girl eats nothing but fast food (they don't have a stove/oven), and still weighs less than my pocketbook.

Oh, and I posted before as rebecca.mylastname. Not the smartest thing ever, but when I made the account I didn't even know about the boards, I was just using the checklist and guest list.

Nebb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fsil-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4bc46481-58bb-4f5d-ae10-ca54cc21a9bfPost:e130c5ae-5409-4be2-81bd-5803524887b3">Re: SIL vent...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: SIL vent... : That could definitely be fun...but odds are, she'll just get sloppy at the b-party and embarass herself. Then you can just stand back and enjoy the show.
Posted by opalsky007[/QUOTE]
Even better!!! ply her with alcohol and then encourage her to do emberassing things and film it!!

bexbark

And OH goodness does she get sloppy. She can only have one or two drinks and she's a mess. It's somewhat embarrassing to be around her actually. Sigh.

tidetravel

Make sure to stuff your face at Thanksgiving.  Better yet - buy some maternity pants - they're stretchy.  If you're going to be "fat" you might as well own it.

bexbark

Haha maternity pants do look super comfy! But I can't stuff myself at Thanksgiving because I have my wedding in three weeks...I have to fit into that dress!!
Oh another fun fact about her wedding (perhaps I'll share little glimmers of that wonderful day): She bought her dress used (no problem, great idea actually) but then couldn't get it altered as much as she wanted....so she had to go out and buy a new dress a few days before the wedding. I felt kinda bad until she said "make sure you wear something dark colored to the wedding so you'll look good in my pictures." After that comment, I made nasty remarks about her looking like a cupcake in my head all day.

goheels05

[QUOTE]I think you should retaliate a la "mean girls" or that stupid bridewars movie. do what you can to make her fat and ruin her life. Or dont. It would be fun t hough.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

Yes, feed her those Swedish protein bars!

I really thought you were talking about this girl I know IRL, but then I saw that she got maried in August and the girl I'm thinking of got married last year.    I was constantly sharing her redic faux pas with the boards; your SIL sounds just like her.

bexbark

Perhaps the person you knew wrote a book called "How to be an Itch" and then my SIL read it....

georgia_bride09

When you see her on Thanksgiving, ask her if she's just getting over the flu. When she says, "No, why do you ask?", just be like, "Well, you just look so thin and peaky, I thought for sure you were sick. You're so pale and sickly. Here, eat some of this pie!!"

mwhitson14

I think for Christmas you should buy her the 30 day shred. Don't say anything, just Merry Christmas

bexbark

Ha! I like that idea...but see, I try really really hard not to be an itch back. I really want to (because I'll admit it, I can be an itch), but it hurts my brother's feelings. Nobody in our family likes her, so I try to at least be civil. But yes, I could offer her some pie sweetly with an overexaggerated southern accent (she makes fun of mine).

ac_in_dc

You're pretty. She's probably just jealous.

Maybe she'll get better over time. Does she at least make your brother happy?

BecW2be

She demanded an invite to your bachelorette party. She did not, however, demand to get the correct information, no? So tell her you're meeting at X and actually meet up at Y and have a great party! It's not your fault plans changed.

bexbark

Ha...she would be very very confused, for sure. Hm. That might be an itchy move, but I'll contemplate it. Plans could just...change randomly. I could forget my cell phone...

ac-in-dc, she seems to make him happy. They were together for five years before getting married, and they did nothing but fight...until he finally gave her a ring. Then they fought until they got married. I guess they've settled down some now because they seem to get along decently well when I see them.

BecW2be

She sounds lovely!

I think every time she picks on some detail she's discovered about your wedding, you should respond with, "Well, in recent weddings I've seen _______ (something from her wedding) and hated it. It will look so much better the way I'm doing it."

bexbark

Oh I wish I had written about this earlier! The wedding is three weeks away now, but it would have been great to use that earlier Bec. I may start doing that though.
To be honest, I'm kinda glad to be going home because now it's my wedding that people will be getting ready for and excited about. Last time I went home, my mom had NO time for any wedding discussion for me because SIL's parents decided to just drop the reception plans on my mom because they "couldn't afford it anymore." Yikes. So I'm happy/excited to get  a little mama attention I'll probably just ignore Jill completely.

BecW2be

Good luck with that. She'll be pissedoff that no one is talking about her wedding anymore. She'll be worse than ever about comparing the two and talking about how much better hers was.

bexbark

Well crap. I just can't win! She apparently told my little sister (MOH) that I should have waited at least six months following her wedding to get married because that's the proper etiquette. That way I don't steal her thunder. I'm tempted to ask her if I should have my bridesmaid who just had her baby shove her back into the womb so that the baby won't steal my thunder on the wedding day. Sheesh.

bexbark

Then again, my little sister could be trying to stir up drama...she's good at that too. Sigh.

e_jakiela

Ugh, I hate the size 0 chicks that are biaaatches because they think they are pretty so they can... I cannot believe how rude she is... I would just tell her: "I don't know if you realize this, but when you say things like that.... (insert any rude comment), you come off as a real b*tch... and your looks don't make up for it".

I am pissed just reading all these comments, I don't know how you did not hit her yet...

JaimeeP

I agree with ac_dc_.  You're beautiful and she is jealous. Just keep filling her wine glass and enjoy the comedy.

thesuninherhead

I have to second the others about laughing this off. She's clearly very immature and insecure to be making remarks like that constantly.