1 bachelorette party 2 brides

Gismo123

So one of my bridesmaids lives in Ireland but she is coming to visit next week for 2 weeks.   She's attending another wedding and then was suppose to have my bachelorette party the weekend after the wedding....we had been planning this for a couple months.  One of her other friends happens to be getting married the weekend before myself and all of a sudden a couple days ago she decides she wants her bachelorette the same weekend and wants to go off to vegas.  Well my bridesmaid suggested that we combine them together.  My problem with this is that I have never met her friend plus she's going to have like 10 people and I am only going to have about 4 or 5...I don't have too many femaile friends.  I would just feel really weird being around people I don't know and having my bachelorette party with them and sharing it with another bride.  It's suppose to be all about the bride and how can that be if there are 2?  Am I wrong in feeling this way?  Is there some etiquette rule about this? I'll probably just end up telling my friend to go with her other friend to vegas...even though I did have plans with her first

myweddingbells2010

Here's what I think...

You and your bridesmaids really won't know these other women.  Sure, you're probably all nice folks who could get along together BUT, I think everyone would likely be more comfortablel just relaxing around the people they already know.  the bachelorette party is supposed to be a crazy-good time, right?  You can't REALLY have a crazy-good time with people you don't know. 

Best of luck!

Beachy730

What are the plans for the night?  If you are going out to bars or something like that, then I think you are fine to all go together since you would be surrounded by strangers anyways.  if you would be planning a night in or something then it might be a little odd.  But clearly your friend is trying to juggle seeing and celebrating with both of her friends who are getting married.  The thing is, if you do choose to tell her to just go to Vegas with that bride, you can't hold it against her if she goes. 

Gismo123

I wouldn't hold it against her I'm not one to hold grudges but I would be bummed....It's more than just going out for the night, it was a weekend get away....the other bride already basically planned out her entire trip which basically left me with the option of having to go along, aka tag along, with what she planned.  They got some type of VIP pass to some fake beach place...I'm not really comfortable with showing my skin off too much I have eczama so that exes me from that event, I think she also wanted to go to a strip club which I am not interested in doing.  I waned to just go out to dinner with my friends then go to a club and dance.

ok lol I know I sound like I'm whinning...just really bummed because I really wanted to see her and the next time she's in the states will be for both our weddings in Jan.

tenofcups4me

I don't think you're whining. The other friend's plans don't fit in with what you'd like to do, and you don't have any obligation to go along with them. I know you're trying to help your friend do both, but you really can't do that at your own expense for your own party.

I'd tell the friend you're really not comfortable with the Vegas plans, you'd love for her to be at  your party, but you'll understand if she can't be. Personally, I don't think I'd go ahead and just tell her to go to the other party. I'd leave it to her to decide. (And honestly I think I'd be a litlte annoyed if she decided to go to that one instead of yours, which she already committed to, but obviously she's the one who's going to have to make the choice.)

sister2groom

Before you can even consider this, how would your guests feel about this (who presumably would be paying quite a bit for a Vegas vacation they may or may not enjoy)?

alainn15

I would tell her no. I would want to do what is fun to me. Whats is fun to her (beach clubs and strip clubs) would be like living hell to me. It wouldn't be your B party, it would be more like you tagged along to a party for someone you don't know. Aside from that, is Vegas in the budget for all of your BM and friends that plan on going with you to celebrate. If someone told me I had to go to Vegas for my B party, I would be very disappointed that what I wanted to do wasn't in the plan at all.

noodle_oo

Yeah, from your description of the event, it doesn't sound like what you wanted to do.  If you were both on the same page, I don't think it is a big deal to have a b-party with 2 brides.  But since it sounds like you wouldn't really have fun, I'd say just tell her to go.  It sounds like she's excited about it, so I wouldn't want to keep her from attending.  But I'd just plan you own b-party later on (or the same weekend as planned) with your other girl friends.  It will stink if your friend misses your party, but it will be her choice.  ANd I"m sure you'll have a great time anyway!

TheCranberry

I don't think you are wrong to not want to do this.  It would make more sense if you were also friends with the other bride and had overlapping friends.  Also, what makes your friend think that this bride even wants you to crash her b-party?

I think you should do what you're comfortable with doing, and you shouldn't feel pressured to join your b-party with someone else's.  I also think it's kind of mean of your friend to blow you off when she had plans with you first.