Who does this happen to?!?

Lucyk00

.....regret.....

FutureMrsTR

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-happen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4d96e004-a7ac-46ba-bb19-26d315008e13Post:48ce6975-ad2c-47d2-861e-51b2d17bbc44">Who does this happen to?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]First I'm not really sure where to post this, I hope this is ok. Alright so this is a long, crazy story. There is a lot of of back story to this, so please don't judge me. I really just need the help and understanding right now. So, I had been planning (what is to me) a HUGE wedding. Over $10,000 and over 200 people. It was set to be May 28 2011. I already have the venue paid for and the dress. I was very close to getting the other big peices done.  T-minus 7 months, things are looking great. Then Monday night I get a call. My sister is preg...which in it's self sucks (again, back story!) She is not phyically, finically, or emotionally ready. She just got a divocre from a abusive husband and doesn't really know the baby's daddy (drama!). But, the really crappy part, is her due date....May 28 2011. Nice! So, I've had my time crying, yelling, being crazy. I'm over it. I can't change teh due date. I'm well aware that babies don't actually come on their "Due date" most the time. But I for sure don't want my wedding day on May 28 2011 any more, me and DF have already talked about it and decided it's not what is best for us. Too much stress and drama for everyone. My mother isn't too happy about this. We are going to call the venue tomorrow to see how they will work with us. They are really nice people, and it's enough time that they can get someone else in the that date (and it's a really popular date) that I'm sure they really won't mind. My problem comes in that.....I can't bump the date up, since the dress won't be ready until  April...that would be cutting it way too close. So, we have to bump it back. I REALLY want a spring/summer wedding.  But I don't want my wedding to turn in to meet and great the baby. Ok, maybe I'm being selfish and attention whorish...but, it's my wedding, and I'm ok with that. I really just don't want drama. Sooooo, We are throwing around the idea of eloping in the spring...or whevever and bumping the actual wedding back to May of 2012. But there are a couple of things I'm wondering about. Which would suck, but I'd be ok with... I have NO CLUE how to elope or how that works. I would want to actually invite my family, even if their feelings are hurt. I don't want to hurt them, I just want to do what it right for me and DF. I need to find a "elopement dress" Short, slutty, fun, and totally crazy..and cheap, less then $100. I have no clue where to start, since the past two years I've been looking at long, "normal" wedding dresses. If we were to elope, how should we do the wedding shower? Not to sound selfish, but we NEED a lot. We have silverwear and blankets, thats it. But at the same time, I want my wedding showers...for....my wedding. Most of all, is it possible to do this without hurting everyone in my path and being totally tacky? I want people to understand we take our marriage very seriously, but we are not going to let a bad (not that the child is a bad thing, but the situation is) thing get us down.
Posted by Lucyk00[/QUOTE]

No.  Just...no.  To just about everything.

crfische

Brevity, party of one? I think we've lost you.

WHERE ARE THE DUFRANES!?!?

And yeah. No. Just...no.

louisvillebride21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-happen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4d96e004-a7ac-46ba-bb19-26d315008e13Post:48ce6975-ad2c-47d2-861e-51b2d17bbc44">Who does this happen to?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]First I'm not really sure where to post this, I hope this is ok. Alright so this is a long, crazy story. There is a lot of of back story to this, so please don't judge me. I really just need the help and understanding right now. So, I had been planning (what is to me) a HUGE wedding. Over $10,000 and over 200 people. It was set to be May 28 2011. I already have the venue paid for and the dress. I was very close to getting the other big peices done.  T-minus 7 months, things are looking great. Then Monday night I get a call. My sister is preg...which in it's self sucks (again, back story!) She is not phyically, finically, or emotionally ready. She just got a divocre from a abusive husband and doesn't really know the baby's daddy (drama!). But, the really crappy part, is her due date....May 28 2011. Nice! So, I've had my time crying, yelling, being crazy. I'm over it. I can't change teh due date. I'm well aware that babies don't actually come on their "Due date" most the time. But I for sure don't want my wedding day on May 28 2011 any more, me and DF have already talked about it and decided it's not what is best for us. Too much stress and drama for everyone. My mother isn't too happy about this. We are going to call the venue tomorrow to see how they will work with us. They are really nice people, and it's enough time that they can get someone else in the that date (and it's a really popular date) that I'm sure they really won't mind. My problem comes in that.....I can't bump the date up, since the dress won't be ready until  April...that would be cutting it way too close. So, we have to bump it back. I REALLY want a spring/summer wedding.  But I don't want my wedding to turn in to meet and great the baby. Ok, maybe I'm being selfish and attention whorish...but, it's my wedding, and I'm ok with that. I really just don't want drama. Sooooo, We are throwing around the idea of eloping in the spring...or whevever and bumping the actual wedding back to May of 2012. But there are a couple of things I'm wondering about. Which would suck, but I'd be ok with... I have NO CLUE how to elope or how that works. I would want to actually invite my family, even if their feelings are hurt. I don't want to hurt them, I just want to do what it right for me and DF. I need to find a "elopement dress" Short, slutty, fun, and totally crazy..and cheap, less then $100. I have no clue where to start, since the past two years I've been looking at long, "normal" wedding dresses. If we were to elope, how should we do the wedding shower? Not to sound selfish, but we NEED a lot. We have silverwear and blankets, thats it. But at the same time, I want my wedding showers...for....my wedding. Most of all, is it possible to do this without hurting everyone in my path and being totally tacky? I want people to understand we take our marriage very seriously, but we are not going to let a bad (not that the child is a bad thing, but the situation is) thing get us down.
Posted by Lucyk00[/QUOTE]


<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/15/13/3f2716ab-7b2f-45b8-8d6a-60ba5bf03eb2.large.gif" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '3f2716ab-7b2f-45b8-8d6a-60ba5bf03eb2', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/15/13/3f2716ab-7b2f-45b8-8d6a-60ba5bf03eb2.medium.gif" alt="" /></a>

mandysmear

Push your wedding back a month.  You'll have a summer wedding.  Everything will be fine. 

If you elope.  Elope.  No do-overs a year later.  You'll look gift grabby.

direy25

Please don't do this.  If you need to push the wedding back a little, that's fine and it's not going to be all about the baby.  If you elope, then that's it.  You've had your "real wedding."  Anything after that is a vow renewal.

Rosie109

It happpens to you. Well, it happened to you. Its happening to you?

Stackeye210

Just plan your wedding for a month later then you originally planned.  Yes, the baby will get oooo's and aaaahhhh's - but you won't even notice.  I PROMISE, you will not even notice at all.  Just speak with the venue and see what summer dates they have available and move on from there.  Eloping and a renewal a year later is the only unnecessary drama - so avoid that idea! 

alixzafiris

What everyone else said... and also, I'm curious so humour me, where can you have a 200+ person wedding for 10K. That boggles my mind. Help?

akhensley81

You can only get married once. If you want to move your date, that's OK. But you can't get married, then get married again.

NuggetBrain

I don't believe this is real.  God wouldn't let that much stupid exist in the world.  He just wouldn't.

arv266

Ok... let me try to wrap my head around this...

Because your sister's due date is the same date as your wedding, you are now eloping?  But after you elope you're still planning the "wedding".  Because you want all the bells and whistles of being the bride.... 

Really? 

Most of all, is it possible to do this without hurting everyone in my path and being totally tacky? I want people to understand we take our marriage very seriously, but we are not going to let a bad (not that the child is a bad thing, but the situation is) thing get us down.

I think you are completely overreacting to your sister's pregnancy, and the whole work around it is not well thought out. 

Keep with your plans or elope.  Pick one, but not both.

Stackeye210

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-happen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4d96e004-a7ac-46ba-bb19-26d315008e13Post:c54b9cac-732e-4bf4-90c1-334c686a7bfc">Re: Who does this happen to?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]What everyone else said... and also, I'm curious so humour me, where can you have a 200+ person wedding for 10K. That boggles my mind. Help?
Posted by alixzafiris[/QUOTE]

You could where I live if you were careful with every penny. 

NuggetBrain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-happen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4d96e004-a7ac-46ba-bb19-26d315008e13Post:5d8a3c2f-c96d-40cb-83aa-8f426d57b603">Re: Who does this happen to?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]It happpens to you. Well, it happened to you. Its happening to you?
Posted by Rosie109[/QUOTE]

I would just like to say that I am so blissfully happy you are here. 

lilianne22

No, to pretty much all of that. 

Did anyone else lol about her wanting a "slutty" elopement dress?  Nothing like slutting it up for your wedding.  Hoping this is MUD.

texagj

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-happen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4d96e004-a7ac-46ba-bb19-26d315008e13Post:6051c1c9-33e1-45ae-9d5d-46ffd37a470c">Re: Who does this happen to?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't believe this is real.  God wouldn't let that much stupid exist in the world.  He just wouldn't.
Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]

This. You said it before I could type it.

opalsky007

Push it back.

Or elope (for real! no do-over, no showers) and use that $10K for all the stuff you'd hoped to get by having showers.

Rosie109

This is one of these threads that until I see the OP post count go up I am no longer reading it, or I will if I get bored.. but not right now.

alixzafiris

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-happen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4d96e004-a7ac-46ba-bb19-26d315008e13Post:1a93f2d6-2e6e-4b22-909e-19dfbcb0c353">Re: Who does this happen to?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Who does this happen to?!? : You could where I live if you were careful with every penny. 
Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]

For serious?! That's nuts.<em> (nuts in an "I'm totally jealousE" kind of way)</em>

AliGirl11

MUD, please?

Loopyseven

It's not an elopement if you invite other people.  If you don't invite people to the wedding - the part where you actually get married - you give up the showers and pre-wedding parties.

Seriously - unless your sister lives far away and won't be able to travel yet, push the wedding out a couple of weeks to mid-June if the venue can accommodate it, and have it in 2011.  Babies that young will SLEEP through the ENTIRE thing, maybe need to be fed in the middle... Trust me, you will not end up with 200+ guests crowded around a newborn in a carrier watching it sleep.  Some of your family may admire the baby for a little bit, but the majority of the guests will return to the dancing, drinking and socializing.  You will probably barely notice the baby at all because you will be busy with other things during the reception.

alixzafiris

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-happen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4d96e004-a7ac-46ba-bb19-26d315008e13Post:57d084ed-574e-4804-b875-a5d6b775f4aa">Re: Who does this happen to?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]Brevity, party of one? I think we've lost you.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

I can lend her that book Heels gave me... what was it called again? Something about concise writing? <em>*snort*</em>

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-happen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4d96e004-a7ac-46ba-bb19-26d315008e13Post:6051c1c9-33e1-45ae-9d5d-46ffd37a470c">Re: Who does this happen to?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't believe this is real.  God wouldn't let that much stupid exist in the world.  He just wouldn't.
Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]

I <3 you.

georgia_bride09

Baby hater.

arv266

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-happen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4d96e004-a7ac-46ba-bb19-26d315008e13Post:8ab5eaf2-177f-44d3-b837-fb99b2375b84">Re: Who does this happen to?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]No, to pretty much all of that.  Did anyone else lol about her wanting a "slutty" elopement dress?  Nothing like slutting it up for your wedding.  Hoping this is MUD.
Posted by lilianne22[/QUOTE]


Fredericks of Hollywood is my slutty elopement dresmaker pick.....

Stackeye210

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-happen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4d96e004-a7ac-46ba-bb19-26d315008e13Post:c7bcc4c9-01e5-4040-8c73-95f8800e3a72">Re: Who does this happen to?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Who does this happen to?!? : For serious?! That's nuts. (nuts in an "I'm totally jealousE" kind of way)
Posted by alixzafiris[/QUOTE]

I know - right?  I can't imagine planning a wedding in some other parts of the country (world).  When I was planning I never saw a plate over $28/per person - of course there are much more expensive places where I live, but when I was looking that's the most expensive I personally came across  The cheapest I saw, but the venue wasn't that great was $12/plate.

ichellemay1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-happen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4d96e004-a7ac-46ba-bb19-26d315008e13Post:83d73989-fdf3-4596-9e79-daf681eb660c">Re: Who does this happen to?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]Push your wedding back a month.  You'll have a summer wedding.  Everything will be fine.  If you elope.  Elope.  No do-overs a year later.  You'll look gift grabby.
Posted by mandysmear[/QUOTE]

This.

LDYGTR13

Someone please tell me this is MUD. Please.

ekilzer1

First of all, breathe. I think you are making rash decisions since this just happened and obviously, it is completely unexpected.

In my opinion, if you do "elope" you some what relinquish your wedding shower. There is a good chance that people may still send you gifts, but you certainly can't throw your own wedding shower- it's tacky. An "elopement" by definition is somewhat secretive. 

My question is- if you are relying that much on your wedding shower gifts for the things you need, maybe you are getting married too soon. You cannot RELY on gifts- your guests aren't obligated to get you anything, their presence at the wedding alone should be a gift, they shouldn't need to get you a material possession.

I think you should just keep the date as it is and go on with planning. You said it yourself, it is highly unlike your sister will have the baby on the same date. If you are super concerned with the timing, I would just bump it back slightly, not a full year- your wedding will not turn into a meet and greet with the baby, the day will still be on you and focused on you and your FI if that is what you are concerned with. 

alixzafiris

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-happen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4d96e004-a7ac-46ba-bb19-26d315008e13Post:3207b44f-6bec-473b-96cc-f9ab4adbaefb">Re: Who does this happen to?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Who does this happen to?!? : I know - right?  I can't imagine planning a wedding in some other parts of the country (world).  When I was planning I never saw a plate over $28/per person - of course there are much more expensive places where I live, but when I was looking that's the most expensive I personally came across  The cheapest I saw, but the venue wasn't that great was $12/plate.
Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]

WHAT?! Okay, we paid $140 a plate and the cheapest I ever saw was $105 a plate.

LDYGTR13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-happen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4d96e004-a7ac-46ba-bb19-26d315008e13Post:48ce6975-ad2c-47d2-861e-51b2d17bbc44">Who does this happen to?!?</a>:
[QUOTE].....regret.....
Posted by Lucyk00[/QUOTE]

Deleting a post once you've been quoted is silly...I would have said "slutty" but you seem to dig slutty