Etiquette

Bridesmaid/Guest List Issue

My cousin is one of my bridesmaids. Her father is my uncle and will be at the wedding. Her parents have been divorced since before I was born. I am not sure whether or not I should invite my couisin's mother to the wedding. All of the other bridesmaids' parents will be there, and I don't want her to feel slighted. I am not very close with my cousin's mother, but I did spend a lot of time with her when my cousin was married a few years ago, and I do like the woman very much, so I would not MIND having her at my wedding at all. I am just not sure of the ettiquite since my unlce and his live-in girlfriend will be there, as well.

Thanks for everyone's input! :)

Re: Bridesmaid/Guest List Issue

  • Bridesmaid's parents do not need to be invited, so you can let go of the idea you're somehow breaking etiquette by not inviting her.

    The real question is do you want to invite this woman?  Forget about her ex-husband/live in girlfriend and think about the woman and her date.  Do you want them there?  If the answer is yes, give her an invite!  Don't let any potential drama cloud your judgement - it's her decision if she wants to come and see her ex husband, not yours
  • I don't think you have to invite the parents of your BP and you definitely don't need to invite your uncle's ex wife.
  • Ditto what others said. You are not breaching etiquette by not inviting her but if you want to invite her go ahead.

    image
  • Will it make your uncle uncomfortable?  I think that's something to consider.  If it will, I would definitely not invited her.  If not, and you want her there, I don't see the harm.

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • How is the relationship between the uncle and his ex? My aunt & uncle have been divorced for years. My uncle remarried last year. I like my aunt, I would have liked to invite her, but I knew it would cause drama, as my aunt has still not let go after all these years. (even though she's with someone else now too)  My one cousin (her daughter) doesn't even talk to her anymore because she pi$$ed her off so bad. And my aunt doesn't speak to her own brother, SIL or niece because they associate with my uncle.

    So it was easier for me not to invite her. She's not my blood aunt, my uncle is, so that also made it easier. So if your aunt & uncle can be in the same room with no drama, invite her. But if there is tension, probably best not to, and if there IS tension, I'm sure your cousin is well aware why it's not a good idea to invite her mom.
    Crosswalk
  • since she was out of the picture before you were born, no need to invite her.  she's not part of your life.

    seriously, i think an adult BM can go to a wedding without her parents there to hold her hand.
  • If you feel comfortable asking your cousin, do that.  Maybe her mom would be uncomfortable at the reception--does she have people to sit with (aside from her daughter if you do the head table seating)? You like the woman, and if you feel like it wouldn't cause drama or awkward feelings, do you WANT her at your wedding. I see no reason why not.  Your uncle and girlfriend are adults...they can handle seeing her there.  I'd say ultimately,unless she's going to be the lone wolf and not be able to interact with her former inlaws, it's ok for her to be there.

    Also, cousin may see it as a slight--"why are all the BM's getting to invite their parents but not her mom?"  It might be rude to invite parents of some but not of the others. 

    Compromise: if you can talk to your cousin and she says it's not a good idea to invite her mom, let her know that her mom is welcome to "pop in" at the ceremony so she can see her daughter dressed up, if that's something she's interested in. 

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