Family photography annoyance. What do do?

microkelly

My wedding is Saturday and I'm having some issues with my mom and family photos. My mom sent an e-mail to her siblings telling them to stay after the ceremony so we can get photos with our family. Well, my aunt asked if she could get a photo with just her family and my mom said yes without asking me. Well one photo is no biggie, but  I see this ending in a catastrophy with every other individual family wanting family photos. I know that FIs family will ask for them too when they see my family doing this and then there will be no time to go to the other locations for photos of FI and I. FI and I paid a lot of money for this photographer and it is our only big splurge. My grandma is now asking for all these pictures of groups of people (that we aren't even in). I don't know how to stop this or how to nicely tell my mother to back off!!! I hope this doesn't sound bridezillaish but this is a wedding not a family photo session. Help!

strlzfan11

Tell your photographer that family photos are not to be taken until all the photos you & your FI want taken of the two of you are taken first.

georgia_bride09

You tell your mom that NO ONE gets family group pictures. Tell her your photog already has a list, and the list will be followed exactly.

WHY do family members always try to take advantage of a photog that someone else has paid for?

You also need to tell your mom that SHE is responsible for telling your family she was mistaken.

Stand your ground. This isn't a family reunion.

ThePinkSuperhero

If you're paying, just set your schedule and keep to it.  Tell your Mom she needs to talk to her sister and let her know that this is not family photo day, it's your wedding day, and your photographer will be taking pictures of you.

waltzingmatilda13

Let your mom know that there just won't be time to take a bunch of family photos because you already have other plans during that time. Be firm with her, you paid for that photographer and you shouldn't have to let them be used to take a bunch of free photos for everyone else.

Also let your photographer know what is going on and that people may be requesting photos of their families and that you, as a paying customer, don't approve of this happening. Then when they approach the photographer they can brush them off and say they need to get photos of the bride and groom, or whatever. The photographer is your employee for the day and they need to be catering you and your wants, not every other family there.

squirrly

Ask your photographer for help.  Clue them in that this may be a problem, and they can probably help you out by telling your mom/grandma that it's "not in the contract" if you can't get them to back down first.

marissa_claire

Have them take their family photos during the reception sometime and also make them pay for whatever photos come out of it.  No need to fuss too much!

ShanaFry

That's so awful! I would do exactly like PP said and not let this happen! Sorry your wedding day happens once. Family get togethers are for family photos Wedding photos can include family photos but not if you're not included!

Jelenny

eeek I didn't even think of this and I can see our fams pulling that one on us.

But as they said talk to your mom to smooth over any misinformation she gave, and talk to your photographer - all you can do.

waltzingmatilda13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_family-photography-annoyance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4e45f5b4-ffdc-4481-8468-4219e5198bcbPost:913a50f3-82d9-4c6e-a63a-bbab0960787f">Re: Family photography annoyance. What do do?</a>:
[QUOTE]Have them take their family photos during the reception sometime and also make them pay for whatever photos come out of it.  No need to fuss too much!
Posted by marissa_claire[/QUOTE]

No, they really shouldn't be taken at all. Some of my favorite photos are from the reception and things I didn't even see going on at the time. If the photographer had been busy taking pics of other people, I would have missed all that. If they really want photos they can bring their own camera and have a friend or other family member take them.

xyrius

That is so rude of them! 

I agree with PPs, talk to your mom and say the answer is no - no exceptions.  She will have to contact your aunt and set her straight, since she's the one who agreed to it without consulting you.  And you must also talk to the photographer and tell him to deny any of those requests.  

Not to mention, the photographer him/herself would probably have an issue with that as well - seeing as he/she has been hired to do a wedding, not to do family portraits for free.  I don't think the photographer will have any issues standing up to people on your behalf on this one.

akhensley81

Yeah I had this problem. Be sure to communicate with your photographer directly. Mine asked me for a list of family members, their names, and who should be included in what photos. We flew through the family/altar shots (and she got all the ones I had asked for) since she had that list. She just called the names as she needed them.

As for your mother, I would definitely talk to her. Just explain that you are paying a lot of money for this photographer, and that you will be working with the photographer on which photos to take. If other family members want photos (especially ones that don't include you), they can bring their own cameras and take the photos themselves.

Maybe set up a photoshare site, too. I have one and it's been getting a lot of activity. I noticed several families/groups who took photos of themselves/each other and posted them on the site to share.

(And P.S. sorry for the late response here I had this all typed up but forgot to hit "Add Post" and I've been working in another IE tab for the last hour. LOL!)

AutumnFair

Ditto to ALL the ladies, you need to talk to your mom and explain that no one is getting family pictures and that she needs to call your aunt to rectify the situation. 

Not only are you losing out but so is your photographer (I have a few photographer friends that have had this happen to them when they shot weddings). I would definitely recommend talking to your photographer and letting know the situation as well. 

Rude on your aunt's part (intentional or not) for asking your mom, and you mom's mistake for not consulting you. Do not feel guilty about setting everyone straight, they had no right to do what they did.

thesuninherhead

I was weirded out enough when H's mother asked for posed photos of just H and his siblings, and her, H and the siblings, without me (not that I had to be in every shot, obviously, but just that I had seen the wedding pictures as about capturing, well, the wedding, and not about posing for family shots (and hey, I was family at that point, so it seemed to be an odd request given the occasion)- let alone pictures of other families altogether! I agree with the others- stand your ground on this one.