My fiance and I don't want to stand up in front of a large group of people for the actual ceremony, but we want to share the day with our whole family. We are thinking about having a smaller ceremony with immediately family only (parents, siblings, and aunts and uncles) for a total of less than 20 people. Then, later that day, we want to have a dinner party (a more informal family style Italian dinner without the typical wedding things like dancing and cake cutting etc.) and invite our extended family (cousins, etc) for a total of 40-50 people. Is it rude to not invite the extended family to the ceremony? We don't want to do away with the party, but we don't want to offend people and wedding stuff is so touchy! Help!