ohwhynot: re- registering

thesuninherhead

So, it seems the knot ate your post, but I was just going to say that we didn't have a registry or wishing well (norm here) either, and this was our first wedding. I had people (not my guests, though) tell me that it would be rude for me not to provide the wishing well, and others encouraging me to register. Ultimately, I feel that both registries and wishing wells carry an expectation of a gift, not to mention dictation as to what the gift should be, and thus I wasn't comfortable with either as I wanted to allow my guests to get me whatever they wanted, if they wanted. Save one bizarre present (a big fish statue- thanks aunty!), each of our guests brought us really great presents of their own choosing, and we didn't regret our decision in the slightest. 

 

ohwhynot

Thanks!  I wonder what happened to my question . . .

thesuninherhead

Etiquette got hungry. Seems to be doing that a fair amount lately.

pooh8402

wtf is a wishing well?

JK10910

I typed out a long response, and TK ate it.  I was pissed.

Cliff's notes:  People are going to get you gifts no matter what.  Make a small registry, upgrade some things, register for things you'd never buy but would be cool.  Don't publicize it, but tell people if they ask.  You'll likely get mostly cash anyway, but there are some people who won't want to give cash, and it's nice to have some options for them

My original response was longer, less blunt, and more thoughtful, but I don't want to retype it all.  Sorry.

thesuninherhead

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ohwhynot-re-registering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:50483a07-e334-4af6-869a-492ea105f4f1Post:80d9417f-bf8d-43cf-947b-5fc4fb581f03">Re: ohwhynot: re- registering</a>:
[QUOTE]wtf is a wishing well?
<p>Posted by pooh8402[/QUOTE]</p><p> </p><p>I live in Australia, home to wishing wells (which are anonymous 'well' like things, see here: <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.weddingwishingwellforhire.com.au/images/Wishing%20Well%20Standard.jpg"></a><a href="http://www.weddingwishingwellforhire.com.au/images/Wishing%20Well%20Heart.jpg" rel="nofollow">http://www.weddingwishingwellforhire.com.au/images/Wishing%20Well%20Heart.jpg</a>) in which guests can deposit cards or money. The difference between them and say, a honeymoon registry, is that the donation of money can be done (and usually is) separately from the card, so that no one knows who has given what and thus there's not as much pressure on your guests. We're also home to great poems about how we'd prefer money. Nick came up with a good one for us:</p><p> </p><p align="center">Nick and Mel are getting hitched</p><p align="center">So give us all your money, bitch! </p><p align="center"> </p><p>But we decided not to do either a wishing well or a registry, as outlined above. Wishing wells are far more common here than registries, though, and certainly a lot of older people think that a registry is tacky (but strangely, that doesn't extend to wishing wells, I guess because it's a cultural norm). </p>

pooh8402

aww, that's kinda neat. we have card boxes up here where people can deposit checks and cards and stuff, that sounds similar. I'll have a cage set up. I have heard of people having a way for guests to write good wishes or advice to the couple during the reception. so I guess the wishing well combines the two.