Wedding Etiquette Forum

Trying to avoid the Catholic gap

Hi everybody, I am having my wedding ceremony in a Catholic church and to be courteous to my guests I would like to minimize the gap. My church is about 20 minutes away from my reception site, the hotel that we blocked off for the guests is about 5 minutes from the reception site.

Here is my issue: Ceremony time is 3pm (non negotiable as per the monsignor) check in time at the hotel is also 3pm. Probably guests can check in early but you never know. Also we are providing a shuttle from the hotel to the reception and back but are providing NO transportation to and from the church. So ideally after the ceremony/mass the guests (majority OOT) will drive themselves to the hotel and hop on the shuttle to the reception. 

My thoughts are this:
3-4- ceremony/mass
4:45- shuttle leaves from hotel
5- cocktail hour
6-reception
10-shuttle goes back to hotel
10:15- after party at bar located next to hotel

OR should I make the cocktail hour start at 5:30 to ensure enough time for everyone to get to the hotel, hop the shuttle and get to the reception on time? Of course we do have SOME in town guests who will be going straight to the reception so I don't want them hanging around for too long. (depending on cost I am also considering cocktail hour to be from 5-6:30 and reception 6:30-10:30...not sure how much my venue will charge for this though)

I'm sorry if this was confusing, the logistics of this is starting to stress me out. We are having our invites printed Friday so I need to decide...

Any thoughts or suggestions and BTDT advice would be great!
BabyFruit Ticker

Re: Trying to avoid the Catholic gap

  • I'd do cocktail hour 5-6:30 - that way those who need to go back to the hotel will have plenty of time to do so, but those who don't need to go to the hotel won't be stuck hanging around twiddling their thumbs while waiting for the bar to open.  Also, call the hotel - since you've presumably blocked rooms there and are bringing in a significant amount of business for them, I can't imagine they wouldn't be able to accommodate you by arranging a slightly earlier check-in time for your guests.  (At the very least, they should be able to provide some sort of facility for those arriving to be able to change into their wedding outfits and store their luggage until the rooms are ready.)
    imagemy to-read shelf:
    Steph's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (to-read shelf)
  • The first thing I would do is talk to the hotel that you have blocked off and see if there is any way for the OOT guests to check in early, make sure they are able to since the ceremony is at the same time.

    Also, how many guests are out of town? Are they all going to fit on one shuttle? If not, do they have two shuttles or do they have to wait for it to come back for them?

    Other than that it looks good to me
    Follow Me on Pinterest Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Thanks...cocktail hour from 5-6:30 would be ideal but I really don't know if it is in my budget. If I CAN'T do that then what is the best timeline?

    I asked the hotel about early check in and they basically said they would try but no promises...
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I have the exact time frame, but my cocktail hour starts at 5:30pm.  I would say push it back to be safe.  if guests are waiting, does the Hotel have a bar, that people could meet in before the shuttle comes?

    Also, like they said, I would call the hotel and ask for early check in for the room block.  If your wedding is on a Saturday, and you are inviting a lot of those people to the Rehearsal Dinner some would check in the night before, right?

    Ending time is easy, what ever your budget allows, put that on the information you have printed. 

    Also, we had all the logistic's printed out and are putting them in Welcome Baskets, just so the guests know when they arrive, the plans.  Just thought I would tell you that, as you and I have the same time frame.

    Good Luck!
  • did you already block the rooms? did anyone make reservations? if not, I would check other hotels that would accomadate an early check in, just for the fact that you are bringing them a lot of business with all your OOT guests.
    Follow Me on Pinterest Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • This post keeps going away and then coming back so who knows if this reply will stick.. anyway all hotels in the area pretty much said the same thing, they do what they can regarding early check in. We chose this hotel mainly because it is right next to the place where we will be meeting up after the reception. The cocktail hour at my reception venue has a reputation for being excellent so I really don't want any of the guests to miss out. I think pushing it to 5:30 is the best idea. We are also printing our shuttle times etc and putting them in our welcome baskets, thanks for the suggestion! I honestly am not sure how many people will be staying. The majority of our guest list is out of town but a lot of people are 2-3 hours away so realistically they COULD go home but they may get a room if they want to hang out for longer so its hard to estimate how many people will be staying at the hotel. We also have a good chunk of people flying in or driving over 3-4 hours who will stay. I sent out STD's a few months ago (wedding in Aug) with hotel info and so far 10 rooms have been booked. I'm expecting a lot more to be booked once invites go out in June. Thanks everybody for your thoughts!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_trying-to-avoid-the-catholic-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:511ff9d1-3ac9-40d7-b3c1-6e14a192d525Post:25a0ef35-76ab-415b-8fef-95b0fb9c14ef">Re: Trying to avoid the Catholic gap</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have the exact time frame, but my cocktail hour starts at 5:30pm.  I would say push it back to be safe.  if guests are waiting, does the Hotel have a bar, that people could meet in before the shuttle comes? Also, like they said, I would call the hotel and ask for early check in for the room block.  If your wedding is on a Saturday, and you are inviting a lot of those people to the Rehearsal Dinner some would check in the night before, right? Ending time is easy, what ever your budget allows, put that on the information you have printed.  Also, we had all the logistic's printed out and are putting them in Welcome Baskets, just so the guests know when they arrive, the plans.  Just thought I would tell you that, as you and I have the same time frame. Good Luck!
    Posted by ebhavens[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Is your ceremony in a church as well? How far is your church from the reception site? As far as ending time, the reception will end 5 hours after cocktail hour starts so I don't have to worry about that but do need to figure out when to start before Fri! (thats when we are printing invites) Thanks!

    </div>
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Okay those who think the hotel is not being accommodating about early check-in must not work in the industry.

    I work in a hotel. Some nights we are 100% booked.  People don't want to check out until the very last minute (normally 11-12).  Don't get me started on the late check-out people.  You can't turn the entire hotel in just a few hours for early check-ins. Just not possible.

    We turn the rooms over as soon as we can, but us not being able to guarantee is not about us being not accommodating.  It's not like a plane where everyone gets on and off at the exact same time.  People leave at different times and you can't get into the room to clean it.  Plus people have different rooms types.  So if the room with the double bed people left early, it does not help the people who want a king room.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Do you have the block of rooms just for the wedding or do you have the block for night before the wedding as well.
    Follow Me on Pinterest Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • We have the same issue with check in time, but our hotel at least offered to hold everyone's bags - so they don't need to be lugging around bags all night, they can just have them held at the hotel until they actually check in. I don't know if that really eliminates any problems, but it helps a bit :)
  • I work in a hotel as yaga said it doesn't always work the way a person wants. 

    Weekends are very busy times, sometimes more than 1 group has blocked rooms. Our housekeepers do their best to get the blocked rooms done first but as she said sometimes guests don't leave until the last possible moment. If the majority of rooms had a party in them the night before & are super dirty it doesn't take long for the time to be gone. 

    Your timeline seems ok but i would push the cocktail hour until 5:30 & have 2 shuttles, one at 5 for those that were able to check in & then another one as soon as that one can get back for those who were not able to check in early. Cocktail hours are NOT completely necesary to guests so if some are late they won't cry. I only go to cocktail hour so that i can grab the table i want (most are NOT assigned seating where i live) 
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Dream Honeymoon/Actual Honeymoon Disneyworld Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Man, that Catholic gap isn't even too bad!  Where I live it is often 3 or 4 hours!
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards