So I was at a friend's house today and her used-to-be BFF sent out magnet photo save-the-dates. Cute? Yes. I'm *not 100%* sure these went out to a large portion of the guest list, including family.
Now*I've heard old biddies saying they* don't like STDs because they're more of a command than a request, and that sentiment is understandable (*they say "Save the date!!" not "Your presence is requested" sorta deal*). *I thought* This STD, was actually really rude. They had little chalkboard *(which are cute)* and it said "Save the date.... B*tches!" (*not cute) *So now your fridge is probably going to have the word b*tches on it*
Really? Like seriously? You're calling Gramma one of your b*tches? hmmm.
Is this taking things too far? Do any of you speak to family this way? I don't, and I was kind of offended by it. Thoughts? Comments?
ETA: asterisk instead of "i"s
ETA x2: to make my sentiment more clear - i kinda went off topic about some of the aspects - I added asterisk to denote what was edited .

Re: Inappropriate STD - thoughts?
[QUOTE]So I was at a friend's house today and her used-to-be BFF sent out magnet photo save-the-dates. Cute? Yes. Original? No. I'm sure these went out to a large portion of the guest list, including family. <strong>Now many people don't like STDs because they're more of a command than a request, and that sentiment is understandable.</strong> This STD, was actually really rude. They had little chalkboards and it said "Save the date.... B*tches!" Really? Like seriously? You're calling Gramma one of your b*tches? hmmm. Is this taking things too far? Do any of you speak to family this way? I don't, and I was kind of offended by it. Thoughts? Comments? ETA: asteriks instead of "i"s
Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]
<div>I've never heard anyone express the sentiment of the bolded. I don't see how STDs would be a command. However, I would seriously side-eye the use of "b*tches" on an STD, even if the bride was a friend of mine. I just think it is classless and not appropriate for any sort of wedding correspondence, even if a different invitation was sent to family members (if, in fact, it was).</div>
[QUOTE]Our STDs were made to look like show tickets. The ones that went out to family had the "show title" as Stage and H's Wedding. The ones for our theatre friends had something like "Oh my lord, is she REALLY wearing white!?!". Y<strong>ou can judge the STD if you want, but you have no way of knowing they sent THAT one</strong>, or any one for that matter to Grandma. Is it a bit crass? Sure. But seriously, <strong>not worth strangling yourself </strong>on your pearls over. And, ours were also magnets! Gasp! The unoriginal police are going to bust down my door and haul me off any day now,
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
Don't worry, no pearls were harmed in the musing over this save the date. And I think the magnets are cute - not meant as a dig, but to set the scene. I just was like "Really? They used B*tches on a save the date? And they expect people to hang it up on their fridge?" I was just sort of taken a-back that they used the term B*tches. Idk- I'm no uber conservative, but I wouldn't send out a formal printed item with the term B*tches on it. And I know that's just me, but I'm still kind of awe-struck.
And I hope that either a) that they didn't send Gramma THAT piece or b) they have a cool Gramma
[QUOTE]<strong>I'd think it was funny depending on the person.</strong>
Posted by MrsGandthebeag[/QUOTE]
It could be, but for piece of wedding correspondance?...
Things that make ya go
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[QUOTE]I agree that if they went out to everyone, it's a little yuck. If I got one like that from a friend, though, it would make me chuckle. I doubt my grandmother would chuckle, but then you can't be sure grandma got that version. I've also never heard of people objecting to getting save the dates. <strong>I always find it to be a huge convenience and really helpful to get them so I can get a jump start on planning...</strong>
Posted by Djinxs[/QUOTE]
I do too, but I've heard old biddies complain about it.
[QUOTE]And for the record, I've never met anyone who is inherently offended by STDs because they are more of an "order" than a "request". <strong>You seem really uptight to me.</strong>
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
Not really uptight, but I know I don't like being called someone's B*tch... it's just not how I roll. Other roll other ways- totally fine, but there's a reason that I'm not biffles with the entire world and I'm sure you aren't eaither. And I never heard of 2 different STDs going out before so it's not something I would have thought of- it's just been stuck in my mind all day that she's calling her aunts and uncles and cousins her b*tches lol
[QUOTE]Yeah, but you never connected "magnets" to "hanging btches on the fridge". You basically said "magents are soooo unoriginal, and STDs are offensive to a lot of people anyway, but this made it EVEN WORSE." Ya know what I mean? ETA: you also said you were SURE these went out to family when you don't even directly know the bride.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
Ehh I guess you're right. I'll update OP to reflect my reflections lol.
[QUOTE]But she wasnt calling YOU anything. And again, you have no clue who those did or did not go out to. Personally, if I got that STD, I'd judge it hardcore because I don't like that word used as a "term of endearment". But anyone who is sending it to me ought to know that, and if they don't, I'm probably judging them for misuse of inappropriate humor. If my MOH got it, he'd laugh his butt off and proudly hang it on his fridge. That's my point. You are judging something that is clearly supposed to be humorous and obviously wasnt meant for you. I hate Robot Chicken. I don't judge those who watch it, including H, just because I find it offensive. It isn't an etiquette matter, it's a humor/taste level matter. And I personally find people who go out of their way to judge that to be uptight. It's just how I roll.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
I just brought it up to see what people thought, kwim? Like a "if you got this what would you think" sort of thing. I don't know this girl on a personal level and it obviously wasn't meant for me. I know it's judgey, but hey we all make snap judgements. I saw it at 7 o'clock this morning nearly 300 miles away and I couldn't get it out of my head. I thought it would be an interesting discussion, but I guess it's less interesting than I thought.
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[QUOTE]Our STDs were made to look like show tickets. The ones that went out to family had the "show title" as Stage and H's Wedding. The ones for our theatre friends had something like "Oh my lord, is she REALLY wearing white!?!". You can judge the STD if you want, but you have no way of knowing they sent THAT one, or any one for that matter to Grandma. Is it a bit crass? Sure. But seriously, not worth strangling yourself on your pearls over. <strong>And, ours were also magnets! Gasp! The unoriginal police are going to bust down my door and haul me off any day now,</strong>
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I was thinking there had to be another version for family/more serious friends, too. </div><div>
</div><div>We did magnets, too. How are they any more unoriginal than a printed card? Everyone has them on their fridge when we go over and tons of people already booked room from our block so they did the job.
</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Inappropriate STD thoughts? : I was thinking there had to be another version for family/more serious friends, too. <strong>We did magnets, too. How are they any more unoriginal than a printed card? Everyone has them on their fridge when we go over so they did the job.</strong>
Posted by AndreaJulia[/QUOTE]
It wasn't meant to insult. IDK why I phrased it that way originally. I mentioned magnets because they go on the fridge, on display, and they said b*tches.
And I had never even thought of there being 2 versions, so I kinda hope you're right!
[QUOTE]I'd probably be like WTF if I got an STD with "bltches" on it but, I'd probably just side eye it on, not hang it on my fridge and move on. <strong>Although, I would feel awfully strange sending an STD to family members with profanity on i</strong>t. I'm not offended by that word but, some people might.
Posted by steign[/QUOTE]
This was the part I got so hung up on...
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Inappropriate STD - thoughts? : This was the part I got so hung up on...
Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I definitely get what you're saying. It's just really weird to me, and I try not to judge but, there's a place and a time for things like that and this doesn't seem like one of them.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Inappropriate STD - thoughts? : Yeah, I definitely get what you're saying. It's just really weird to me, and I try not to judge but, there's a place and a time for things like that and this doesn't seem like one of them.
Posted by steign[/QUOTE]
That's the point that I tried to make, but executed terribly poorly.
There is a time and a place for those things. An e-vite or FB invite? sure! My fridge? no.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Inappropriate STD - thoughts? : That's the point that I tried to make, but executed terribly poorly. There is a time and a place for those things. An e-vite or FB invite? sure! My fridge? no.
Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]
Exactly. I would see this more of a joking FB event type thing.
201 Invited
[QUOTE]I'd think it was funny depending on the person.
Posted by MrsGandthebeag[/QUOTE]
I agree. It may have been a poor judgement call to actually order them, but it is a little funny
I really find the word "b*tch disrespectful". I use it, when I don't respect someone. So personally, I would probably not appreciate them....but I probably wouldn't put too much thought into them either after discarding it. It wouldn't go on my fridge, for sure.
My friend had an Halloween card that she got from a friend that was announcing that the friend was pregnant. She had painted her pregnant belly like a jack-o-lantern and was holding it and her husband was holding another one and their kid was holding another one and everyone thought it was really inappropriate and I thought it was clever and cute.
So...all in the eyes of the beholder I guess.
[QUOTE]And for the record, I've never met anyone who is inherently offended by STDs because they are more of an "order" than a "request". You seem really uptight to me.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
<div>My mother actually had 5 separate people approach her and say, "hoffse isn't sending out save the dates is she? They are so rude!" LIterally. So we opted to send them to the folks our age instead of the folks my parents' age.</div><div>
</div><div>I don't know that OP was saying that's how she viewed them, just that she knows some older guests view them that way. That was certainly my experience. </div><div>
</div><div>I mostly don't care for them because I find them redundant and a waste of money for the most part - but I can see how they might be useful for the the fringe friends who aren't sure whether they will make the cut or not.</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Inappropriate STD thoughts? : My mother actually had 5 separate people approach her and say, "hoffse isn't sending out save the dates is she? They are so rude!" LIterally. So we opted to send them to the folks our age instead of the folks my parents' age. I don't know that OP was saying that's how she viewed them, just that she knows some older guests view them that way. That was certainly my experience. I mostly don't care for them because I find them redundant and a waste of money for the most part - but I can see how they might be useful for the the fringe friends who aren't sure whether they will make the cut or not.
Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]
OK, so at least I know I'm not cray cray for knowing some people think of them this way.