Wedding Etiquette Forum

Heard that someone was talking sh*t... address it?

I'll try to make a long story short... Here's some background: I got engaged December 2012 and my BFF (also my MOH) got engaged February 2011. I am getting married June 16th and she is getting married June 2nd. Her bridal shower, planned by her mother and sister (MOH), was two weekends ago. My shower, planned by my mom and MOH, was this past weekend. 
A friend of mine approached me on Monday and said, "the two ladies sitting across from me at your bridal shower were talking alot of sh*t. I guess they didn't know that I spoke Portuguese". These two ladies are my MOH's mother and sister!!!
According to my friend they said that there was too much food, they complained that one of the games we played was obscene, and that the cake was the only dessert (it wasn't). There was apparently much more complaining but this is all that my friend told me. I was FURIOUS. I have known them for 12 years and feel so betrayed. I would never do this to any of my friends. This is totally innapropriate and immature. 
According to my mom they arrived an hour early and asked my MOH why her shower didn't look as nice as mine... WTF, she didn't plan her shower, her sis and mom did (and btw did not let me help). They then made a comment about how many presents I had. I didn't take note of these things because I was so happy and nervous but my mom said that it was a noticeable difference in that I got many more. 
I feel that all of this is jealousy and I am disappointed that it is happenning. I wanted to call my MOH's sister and talk to her about it but my close friends and FI all recommended that I just let it go. They said that nothing would come of it and that I would only cause drama. I felt that it was wrong and felt a moral obligation to defend my mother but after giving it some thought I think they are right. I'm just so mad... ugh
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Re: Heard that someone was talking sh*t... address it?

  • Just let it go. I don't think it's going to any good to call them out on it. 
  • Dude. No. Don't touch this with a ten foot pole. 

    If those women want to act like school children, let them. Rise above, ignore it, and move on.
  • Leave it alone
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  • What are the odds that you have a friend that knows Portuguese? I would be really mad too, but I agree with PPs that you should just drop it. Although it would be nice to see the look on their faces when you said "My friend knows Portuguese. She said you had lovely things to say about the shower!" with a big old smile on your face. Also who complains about too much food?!? I am sure they were mostly just jealous because your shower was better than theirs. Still, they suck.
  • If I were you, I would go out of my way to drop that the friend knows portuguese at the first available opportunity, in a friendly, innocent way. Hey, it's a good lesson in not assuming things like that (I'm bilingual and I bust people on stuff like that occassionally) and also it will make you feel better to politely have gotten the satisfaction of making them squirm.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_heard-that-someone-was-talking-sht-address-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:52276912-88f9-494a-8806-eac8edcdce07Post:cc8b0a5d-b616-44d7-af92-e23c76a5e277">Re: Heard that someone was talking sh*t... address it?</a>:
    [QUOTE]What are the odds that you have a friend that knows Portuguese? I would be really mad too, but I agree with PPs that you should just drop it. Although it would be nice to see the look on their faces when you said "My friend knows Portuguese. She said you had lovely things to say about the shower!" with a big old smile on your face. Also who complains about too much food?!? I am sure they were mostly just jealous because your shower was better than theirs. Still, they suck.
    Posted by NicoleSahara[/QUOTE]

    <div>During the shower, before I knew any of this, I actually went up to them and said, "hey, did you meet ABC?? She's Portuguese too!". She looked very shocked but I didn't know why. BTW, FI and his entire family are from Spain. They are from a part of Spain that borders Portugal so at least half of the people in the room understood Portuguese. </div>
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  • Ahh.. I know this sucks and hurts. Jealousy is the the most hurtful thing. Just hold your head high and I hate to say it, Let it Go..  
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  • Like PPs said, let it go.  I'm bilingual as well, and I've heard lots of things I'd rather not have heard.  So, unless it's directly at me, I try to let it go.

    Though they sound like jealous biitches.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_heard-that-someone-was-talking-sht-address-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:52276912-88f9-494a-8806-eac8edcdce07Post:8fe64e1b-364c-4d60-8df1-ca2431119a8e">Re: Heard that someone was talking sh*t... address it?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Heard that someone was talking sh*t... address it? : During the shower, before I knew any of this, I actually went up to them and said, "hey, did you meet ABC?? She's Portuguese too!". She looked very shocked but I didn't know why. BTW, FI and his entire family are from Spain. They are from a part of Spain that borders Portugal so at least half of the people in the room understood Portuguese. 
    Posted by lopezalonso[/QUOTE]

    She probably knew she was busted then. Don't worry about saying anything further, she has to deal with the embarassment of knowing you probably heard the terrible things she said. What an idiot.
  • In Response to Re:Heard that someone was talking sht... address it?:[QUOTE]In Response to Heard that someone was talking sht... address it?:I'll try to make a long story short... Here's some background: I got engaged December 2012 and my BFF also my MOH got engaged February 2011. I am getting married June 16th and she is getting married June 2nd. Hernbsp;bridal shower, planned by her mother and sister MOH, was two weekends ago. My shower, planned by my mom and MOH, was this past weekend.nbsp; A friend of mine approached me on Monday and said, "the two ladies sitting across from me at your bridal shower were talking alot of sht. I guess they didn't know that I spoke Portuguese". These two ladies are my MOH's mother and sister!!! According to my friend they said that there was too much food, they complained that one of the games we played was obscene, and that the cake was the only dessert it wasn't. There was apparently much more complaining but this is all that my friend told me. I was FURIOUS. I have known them for 12 years and feel so betrayed. I would never do this to any of my friends. This is totally innapropriate and immature.nbsp; According to my mom they arrived an hour early and asked my MOH why her shower didn't look as nice as mine... WTF, she didn't plan her shower, her sis and mom did and btw did not let me help. They then made a comment about how many presents I had. I didn't take note of these things because I was so happy and nervous but my mom said that it was a noticeable difference in that I got many more.nbsp; I feel that all of this is jealousy and I am disappointed that it is happenning. I wanted to call my MOH's sister and talk to her about it but my close friends and FI all recommended that I just let it go. They said that nothing would come of it and that I would only cause drama. I felt that it was wrong and felt a moral obligation to defend my mother but after giving it some thought I think they are right. I'm just so mad... ughPosted by lopezalonsoNope.Also: Biitches gonna be biitches. There's no possible way you can say anything that won't be weird and awkward. Move forward. Posted by staceycaine[/QUOTE]

    Sorry. Meant to say December 2010!!!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_heard-that-someone-was-talking-sht-address-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:52276912-88f9-494a-8806-eac8edcdce07Post:9fb4ba65-cdff-43a0-8d57-6b52ab85343a">Re: Heard that someone was talking sh*t... address it?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, does anyone else find it rude when people speak in another language? I think it's rude because I assume this very thing is why--they're talking shiit. I mean, if they don't KNOW english, that's one thing. But if they do...I find it at the very least awkward, but I might be in the minority for feeling that way.
    Posted by staceycaine[/QUOTE]

    Uh no.  The language they are speaking does not make them rude, what they are saying makes them rude.
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  • This reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Elaine is sure the nail techs are talking about her so she brings George's dad to translate.

    OP, I agree with the others - let it go.  If you mentioned it at the shower you inadvertantly busted them.  That's good enough.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_heard-that-someone-was-talking-sht-address-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:52276912-88f9-494a-8806-eac8edcdce07Post:9fb4ba65-cdff-43a0-8d57-6b52ab85343a">Re: Heard that someone was talking sh*t... address it?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, does anyone else find it rude when people speak in another language? I think it's rude because I assume this very thing is why--they're talking shiit. I mean, if they don't KNOW english, that's one thing. But if they do...I find it at the very least awkward, but I might be in the minority for feeling that way.
    Posted by staceycaine[/QUOTE]

    It depends. If the other language is their first language and they are more comfortable speaking that way, no. If they are at a gathering of all English speakers and are only speaking in their language so that they can privately talk shiit? Then yes.
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    I would let it go.  Some people will never be happy with their own lives and will always try to find fault in others to make themselves feel better.  Bringing it up could cause unnecessary drama between you and your MOH - - or at the very least, your MOH will feel bad because her mother and sister are heinous and embarrassing.  It sucks, of course, because they hurt your feelings.  But I would just move on and realize that at the end of the day, you gotta feel sorry for people like that who are petty, jealous and small.
       
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_heard-that-someone-was-talking-sht-address-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:52276912-88f9-494a-8806-eac8edcdce07Post:9fb4ba65-cdff-43a0-8d57-6b52ab85343a">Re: Heard that someone was talking sh*t... address it?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, does anyone else find it rude when people speak in another language? I think it's rude because I assume this very thing is why--they're talking shiit. I mean, if they don't KNOW english, that's one thing. But if they do...I find it at the very least awkward, but I might be in the minority for feeling that way.
    Posted by staceycaine[/QUOTE]

    I know a lot of people that assume this, but it's not true most of the time.

    I speak Japanese with my DH when we visit the U.S. and a lot of times when we're out with other Japanese people we sometimes speak English.  Sometimes I want to speak a little more privately with DH without having to leave the room or excuse ourselves.  Are there times I talk shiit in either language?  Sure, but if I'm going to talk shiit I don't need to default to the other language in order to hide it.

    I've been in the situation numerous times where people assumed I didn't speak Japanese next to me on the train and whatever and went on these rants about stupid foreigners and all that stuff.  Hard to keep from laughing, really.  I guess I'm a biitch because I'll usually let it drop some how that I know Japanese (asking another passenger a question or chit chat) to see the priceless looks on their faces.
  • It seems like the stuff they said was in comparison to the other shower, and clearly talked about how yours was better.  Let that stuff go.  It's juvenile.  You just know for future reference that if you hear a comment yourself that you might want to call them out nicely on it, but don't bring up past stuff, just be glad you know their motives and character now.  
  • edited March 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_heard-that-someone-was-talking-sht-address-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:52276912-88f9-494a-8806-eac8edcdce07Post:9fb4ba65-cdff-43a0-8d57-6b52ab85343a">Re: Heard that someone was talking sh*t... address it?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, does anyone else find it rude when people speak in another language? I think it's rude because I assume this very thing is why--they're talking shiit. I mean, if they don't KNOW english, that's one thing. But if they do...I find it at the very least awkward, but I might be in the minority for feeling that way.
    Posted by staceycaine[/QUOTE]

    Seriously? Basically what you're saying here is "How dare they speak their language!" because there's no way you can know if they speak English or not. Unless you can read minds or you're rude enough to ask.
  • Haters be hatin.  Let it go, and be happy.  That always seems to piss off jealous people more anyway.
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  • http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k48/dubird/funny/Gifs/funny-celebrity-pictures-wtf-barrowman.gif

    Just let it go.  If they want to be biitches about it, that's their problem, not yours.
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  • Ignore it. Don't be immature.
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