Guests wearing white?

eastunder1

I would just like to say that I am very proud that not one person has said "Its not like you"ll be mistaken for the bride" in this thread.

Uggh.  That makes me want to throat punch. 

ohwhynot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:52333834-9f04-4299-9c0e-f1aa0f78c095Post:cb1a8655-c292-4244-b107-ee3a5dd99563">Re: Guests wearing white?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would just like to say that I am very proud that not one person has said "Its not like you"ll be mistaken for the bride" in this thread. Uggh.  That makes me want to throat punch. 
Posted by eastunder1[/QUOTE]

What's the point of the taboo, then, if not to avoid upstaging the bride?  I honestly don't get why it is considered so rude to wear white (esp. if the prohibition extends to <em>any</em> white), unless it is to avoid upstaging the bride. 

And even then - who cares?  Why aren't men forbidden from wearing dark suits or tuxedos to avoid upstaging the groom?  I think the whole thing is just stupid, to be honest. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:52333834-9f04-4299-9c0e-f1aa0f78c095Post:d66f8725-e3ce-4ce3-b073-e2f16aad2480">Re: Guests wearing white?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Guests wearing white? : What's the point of the taboo, then, if not to avoid upstaging the bride?  I honestly don't get why it is considered so rude to wear white (esp. if the prohibition extends to any white), unless it is to avoid upstaging the bride.  And even then - who cares?  Why aren't men forbidden from wearing dark suits or tuxedos to avoid upstaging the groom?  I think the whole thing is just stupid, to be honest. 
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

I think it goes back to a time where most "bridal" dresses were simply nice, white dresses, rather than elaborate ballgowns that are usually three times fancier than anything the guests are wearing. It would be like their sunday church dress - but white. So in that case, it would look very AWish to wear something very similar to the bride.

So the tradition of not wearing white has been handed down. THESE days, no, unless the bride has a very casual dress or she's wearing a sheath or grecian dress and someone else shows up in a long white evening gown, no one will do a double take. It's now just one of those nods to history/etiquette respect things.

And the bride probably won't notice. But as a guest, I'd probably side-eye the person as someone who was clueless about etiquette (and wonder what other etiquette rules they routinely break). Not really, but you get the idea.

polichik

It sounds ok to me, but I think that if you'd be slightly uncomfortable or worried that somebody might be bothered, I'd skip it for my own personal comfort.

eastunder1

Well said Mery.  No, there isn't any hard practical reason anymore to not wear white.  But the fact is it is still a solid rule of weddings.  Maybe one day it will phase out and not matter anymore (much like wearing black) but that day has not passed.  Until that happens it is just a case of social grace and being respectful of established wedding rules.   I side eye people who lack social grace. 

ohwhynot

Mery and East, I guess that makes sense.  Saying I thought it was stupid was really overstating it; my mistake.  I do hope the taboo goes away, though, much like wearing black, because a lot of summery dresses are white-based with print. 

Maybe I'm just embarassed by what I've worn before and now realize was probably considered lacking social grace. 

SparrowSong

I've worn white dresses with floral designs/prints on them to weddings before.

Honestly, if it's not floor length, solid white, satin/lace/silk, having a train, bought at a bridal store, I do not see the big deal. No one is going to confuse someone in a knee-length sheath with a floral print for the bride just because the background color is white.

ETA: Read some other responses that occurred since I opened this thread... see I perspective I hadn't thought of before. Still, I think it's a useless tradition. Seems like half of weddings have bridesmaids in black these days. If that can be considered completely normal, I think guests can wear pretty dresses that happen to include white. I personally wouldn't wear a solid white dress of any length, but I think prints on white background are completely fine.

oogiejonz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:52333834-9f04-4299-9c0e-f1aa0f78c095Post:862208ca-9e7a-443b-be28-27f514290ca3">Re: Guests wearing white?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just learned last night (thanks David Tutera!) that white isnt even acceptable for guests to wear. Hmm, who knew!
Posted by arthomas82[/QUOTE]

I totally don't understand why this is a big deal. Is there the slightest possibility that anyone at the wedding/reception will not be able to differentiate between the bride and a guest if a guest is wearing white? Not enough total spotlight on the bride? I can't even imagine noticing or caring if someone showed up at my wedding in white. There are plenty of dresses out there that I *would* prefer not to see at my wedding - women in dresses with their boobs hanging out or half their butt sticking out from the bottom of a too-short dress. But I don't see David Tutera saying anything about that.

oogiejonz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:52333834-9f04-4299-9c0e-f1aa0f78c095Post:27afd7ab-e0ff-4a1b-96d2-190e84943dcb">Re: Guests wearing white?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well said Mery.  No, there isn't any hard practical reason anymore to not wear white.  But the fact is it is still a solid rule of weddings.  Maybe one day it will phase out and not matter anymore (much like wearing black) but that day has not passed.  Until that happens it is just a case of social grace and being respectful of established wedding rules.   I side eye people who lack social grace. 
Posted by eastunder1[/QUOTE]

Miss Manners would be happy to point out to you that the rules of etiquette exist to make people feel comfortable, not to just exist in a vacuum because that's what has always been done (for some value of always that is probably much shorter than you think). So if you believe the bride would be uncomfortable seeing someone at her wedding in white, then by all means give that guest the evil eye on behalf of the bride.

Calypso1977

curious, would you ladies wear a white skirt with a solid color top to a wedding?? 

laurenclaire1386

Calypso, I wouldn't. I'm not saying it's wrong for other people to do it, but personally, I don't wear a stitch of white to weddings.

Rosie109

Can we just focus on where I can buy the dress that you may or may not wear to the wedding? Its super cute. 

edit: sometimes i think i was dropped on the head as a child or something. its in the first post dumbass. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:52333834-9f04-4299-9c0e-f1aa0f78c095Post:4b49001a-ef8e-41a6-a274-bdc268f49038">Re: Guests wearing white?</a>:
[QUOTE]curious, would you ladies wear a white skirt with a solid color top to a wedding?? 
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

Not a completely white skirt, no.

But a dress or skirt with a print/pattern/stripes with a white background where the item of clothing was 50% white or less? That's fine. I think the pics of dresses in this post used as examples would be totally fine. For me, anyway. And I wouldn't think twice about seeing anyone else wear them to a wedding.

pooh8402

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:52333834-9f04-4299-9c0e-f1aa0f78c095Post:4b49001a-ef8e-41a6-a274-bdc268f49038">Re: Guests wearing white?</a>:
[QUOTE]curious, would you ladies wear a white skirt with a solid color top to a wedding?? 
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]
I would.